Point Lookout: a free weekly publication of Chaco Canyon Consulting
Volume 2, Issue 28;   July 10, 2002: Doorknob Disclosures and Bye-Bye Bombshells

Doorknob Disclosures and Bye-Bye Bombshells

by

A doorknob disclosure is an uncomfortable, painful, or embarrassing revelation offered at the end of a meeting or conversation, usually by someone who's about to exit. When we learn about bad news in this way, we can feel frustrated and trapped. How can we respond effectively?

Just as Gene reached for the phone to call Eileen, it rang. He picked up with his usual "Morning, Gene Phillips." It was Eileen. "Gene, got a minute? I want to update you on Marigold." "Sure," he replied, "come by." As he hung up, he marveled at how often this happens — you reach for the phone to call people just as they call you.

A doorknobThis time he thought he could explain the coincidence. Marigold was in crisis, and it weighed heavily on them both. A minute later, she popped in, closed the door, and sat down at his conference table. He rolled his chair over to join her.

"So. Tell me," he said.

"It's about what we expected," she began. "Bellamy can't make the slipped date, so it's Plan C — Plan B is dead."

This was news to Gene. "Plan C?"

"There isn't one yet. We get to work it out."

"Typical," he said. They talked for a time about options, but none seemed especially wonderful. Then Eileen's pager went off — she was late for a meeting. So they decided to let it go for now, and talk tomorrow.

If we learn to deal with
doorknob disclosures,
we have more choices
and less risk of
feeling trapped
Eileen stood up to leave, stepped to the door, and grasped the knob. "Oh, and I'm thinking of moving on. I've got an offer and it's too good to pass."

Gene stared.

What Eileen did is known as a "doorknob disclosure" or "bye-bye bombshell" — an uncomfortable, painful, or embarrassing revelation offered at the end of a meeting or conversation, usually by someone who's about to exit.

Organizations also engage in doorknob disclosures. An outstanding example is the Friday layoff.

When we learn about bad news in this way, we can feel frustrated and trapped, and sometimes angry, but if we recognize a doorknob disclosure as it's happening we can make more useful choices. Here are three tips for dealing with doorknob disclosures.

Deal with fears
Perhaps the motivation for the doorknob ploy is fear or embarrassment. Explore this. You're more likely to make a constructive connection with the discloser after you first work to calm the fear.
Work from a place of mutual respect
The doorknob ploy is disrespectful, because it limits your ability to respond. Work first towards mutual respect, rather than addressing the disclosure itself.
When power is a factor, think
If the discloser has greater organizational power than you do, think carefully. Even if you get around the doorknob, the discloser might use more heavy-handed techniques to limit your freedom.

Because the doorknob ploy imposes a time constraint, it adds stress, making a good outcome unlikely if you try to deal with it immediately. Ask, "When would you like to talk about this?"

And understand that the discloser might not want to talk. Sorry to end on a down note — gotta go, I'm late for a meeting. Go to top Top  Next issue: Double Your Downsizing Damage  Next Issue

Rick BrennerThe article you've been reading is an archived issue of Point Lookout, my weekly newsletter. I've been publishing it since January, 2001, free to all subscribers, over the Web, and via RSS. You can help keep it free by donating either as an individual or as an organization. You'll receive in return my sincere thanks — and the comfort of knowing that you've helped to propagate insights and perspectives that can help make our workplaces a little more human-friendly. More

Your comments are welcome

Would you like to see your comments posted here? rbrenaZVLCYAvgFhLpcssner@ChacIbMlKLrMYPAGPomUoCanyon.comSend me your comments by email, or by Web form.

About Point Lookout

Thank you for reading this article. I hope you enjoyed it and found it useful, and that you'll consider recommending it to a friend.

Point Lookout is a free weekly email newsletter. Browse the archive of past issues. Subscribe for free.

Support Point Lookout by joining the Friends of Point Lookout, as an individual or as an organization.

Do you face a complex interpersonal situation? Send it in, anonymously if you like, and I'll give you my two cents.

Related articles

More articles on Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness:

Address fileSnapshots of Squirming Subjects
Today we use data as a management tool. We store, recall, and process data about our operations to help us manage resources and processes. But this kind of management data is often scattered, out of date, or just plain incorrect, and taking a snapshot doesn't work. There is a better way.
Tenacious under full sailThe Solving Lamp Is Lit
We waste a lot of time finding solutions before we understand the problem. And sometimes, we start solving before everyone is even aware of the problem. Here's how to prevent premature solution.
The rabbit that went down the rabbit-holeOur Last Meeting Together
You can find lots of tips for making meetings more effective — many at my own Web site. Most are directed toward the chair, or the facilitator if you have one. Here are some suggestions for everybody.
The Marx brothers: Chico, Harpo, Groucho and ZeppoTINOs: Teams in Name Only
Perhaps the most significant difference between face-to-face teams and virtual or distributed teams is their potential to develop from workgroups into true teams — an area in which virtual or distributed teams are at a decided disadvantage. Often, virtual and distributed teams are teams in name only.
A grove of quaking aspenFinding Work in Tough Times: Infrastructure
Finding work in tough times goes a lot more easily if you have at least a minimum of equipment and space to do the job. Here are some thoughts about getting that infrastructure and managing it.

See also Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness for more related articles.

Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout

Cargo containers at a port of entryComing May 31: Unresponsive Suppliers: III
When suppliers have a customer orientation, we can usually depend on them. But government suppliers are a special case. Available here and by RSS on May 31.
A blue peacock of IndiaAnd on June 7: The Knowledge One-Upmanship Game
The Knowledge One-Upmanship Game is a pattern of group behavior in the form of a contest to determine which player knows the most arcane fact. It can seem like innocent fun, but it can disrupt a team's ability to collaborate. Available here and by RSS on June 7.

Coaching services

I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact Rick for details at rbrenAKNWAbKMGZAuHkWhner@ChaczVyqnBqZnnRubASpoCanyon.com or (617) 491-6289, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.

Get the ebook!

Past issues of Point Lookout are available in six ebooks:

Reprinting this article

Are you a writer, editor or publisher on deadline? Are you looking for an article that will get people talking and get compliments flying your way? You can have 500 words in your inbox in one hour. License any article from this Web site. More info

Public seminars

Creating High Performance Virtual Teams
Many Creating High Performance Virtual Teamspeople experience virtual teams as awkward, slow, and sometimes frustrating. Even when most team members hail from the same nation or culture, and even when they all speak the same language, geographic dispersion or the presence of employees from multiple enterprises is often enough to exclude all possibility of high performance. The problem is that we lead, manage, and support virtual teams in ways that are too much like the way we lead, manage, and support co-located teams. In this program, Rick Brenner shows you how to change your approach to leading, managing, and supporting virtual teams to achieve high performance using Simons' Four Spans model of high performance. Read more about this program. Here's an upcoming date for this program:

The Race to the South Pole: Ten Lessons for Project Managers
On 14The Race to the Pole: Ten Lessons for Project Managers December 1911, four men led by Roald Amundsen reached the South Pole. Thirty-five days later, Robert F. Scott and four others followed. Amundsen had won the race to the pole. Amundsen's party returned to base on 26 January 1912. Scott's party perished. As historical drama, why this happened is interesting enough, but to organizational leaders, business analysts, project sponsors, and project managers, the story is fascinating. Lessons abound. Read more about this program. Here's an upcoming date for this program:

Follow Rick

Send email or subscribe to one of my newsletters Follow me at LinkedIn Follow me at Twitter, or share a tweet Follow me at Google+ or share a post Subscribe to RSS feeds Subscribe to RSS feeds
The message of Point Lookout is unique. Help get the message out. Please donate to help keep Point Lookout available for free to everyone.
101 Tips for Managing ConflictFed up with tense, explosive meetings? Are you the target of a bully? Learn how to make peace with conflict.
Reader Comments About My Newsletter
A sampling:
  • Your stuff is brilliant! Thank you!
  • You and Scott Adams both secretly work here, right?
  • I really enjoy my weekly newsletters. I appreciate the quick read.
  • A sort of Dr. Phil for Management!
  • …extremely accurate, inspiring and applicable to day-to-day … invaluable.
  • More
52 Tips for Leaders of Project-Oriented OrganizationsAre your project teams plagued by turnover, burnout, and high defect rates? Turn your culture around.
Ebooks, booklets and tip books on project management, conflict, writing email, effective meetings and more.
Comprehensive collection of all e-books and e-bookletsSave a bundle and even more important save time! Order the Combo Package and download all ebooks and tips books at once.