| November 2, 2005 | Volume 5, Issue 44 |
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by Rick Brenner
Threatening as a way of influencing others might work in the short term. But a pattern of using threats to gain compliance has long-term effects that can undermine your own efforts, corrode your relationships, and create an atmosphere of fear.
s the meeting continued, and her task list grew, Ellie got anxious. Making any changes so close to the demonstration was risky at best. But the number and complexity of these changes meant that she would be working long hours under pressure. So she spoke up. "I'm getting a little worried," she began. "This is a lot of work, and it has to be done right or we could be in trouble."
Warner didn't miss a beat. "We'll be in bigger trouble if it doesn't get done."
Threatening was one of Warner's favorite tactics, and Ellie had had enough. So she called him on it. "Oh? What kind of trouble?"
Warner escalated. "Do you like having a job?"
Ellie and Warner were now officially in a tangle — one of the many serious consequences of using threats as a tool of influence. Their relationship had been in tatters for a while, in part because of Warner's persistent use of threats.
People use threats
because threats seem to
be extremely cheapPeople use threats because threats seem to be extremely cheap, if they work. Threats can achieve quick results for very little effort. All you have to do is deliver the threat. But the real costs are high, and they're often invisible to those who threaten.
If you're subjected to threats at work, and you notice the effects on your level of joy, do what you can to lift yourself above it. Recognize the emptiness of the threatener's toolkit, and resolve to find a different way to influence people yourself.
If you use threats now and then, I hope you'll look for alternatives. Or else.
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One form of threat people feel comfortable using is the indirect threat. The comfort comes from the ambiguity of the threat; if "caught," the threatener can claim, "Oh, I didn't mean that." Despite the indirectness, the threat is still destructive. For more on indirectness, see "The True Costs of Indirectness," Point Lookout for November 29, 2006.
Are you fed up with tense, explosive meetings? Are you or a colleague the target of a bully? Destructive conflict can ruin organizations. But if we believe that all conflict is destructive, and that we can somehow eliminate conflict, or that conflict is an enemy of productivity, then we're in conflict with Conflict itself. Read 101 Tips for Managing Conflict to learn how to make peace with conflict and make it an organizational asset. Order Now!
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