You're leading a team of some kind, and one of the team members has been severely injured or or has been stricken with a serious illness. I'll call him Andy. The team doesn't know about it yet, but, everyone knows him personally and when they find out, everyone will feel loss or worry.
In Part I, we explored what to do to prepare before you talk to the team. In this Part II, we look at what to say and how to say it.
- Tell the team what you can about Andy's near future
- Whatever you say must respect organizational policy and Andy's personal preferences. You might know his condition, and you might know his location and whether he's receiving visitors (he probably isn't yet). If you can, provide an address (or tell them when you will) for those who wish to send cards or good wishes.
- You probably don't know when or whether he'll be returning. It's best to say this as, "I don't yet know when Andy will be back." Telling people that you don't know whether he'll be back is probably unhelpful.
- Offer team members what they might need
- Some team members might benefit from counseling, though this is rare in the case of injury or illness. It probably isn't necessary to offer counseling to everyone, but be attentive to special cases.
- Beware: the event might have exposed previously hidden factors. For instance, Andy might be involved in an affair with another team member, who could be severely upset, and who might also be unwilling or unable to visit Andy because of privacy concerns. Private counseling might be desirable for both. Sensitivity on your part is a valuable asset.
- Beware the complexity of virtual relationships
- Some team members might have close virtual relationships with Andy. They might be thousands of miles away, and perhaps they have never met, but the emotional impact of the event can be every bit as painful and disruptive as if they were co-located.
- Contact remote or traveling team members in advance by telephone, and give them the news privately. Don't leave anything in voicemail other than a request for a return call. Ask for confidentiality until you talk to the rest of the team.
- It isn't necessary to have a new
plan immediately. Indeed, if you
do, you risk appearing over-eager
to replace the one stricken
- Announce that you'll be re-planning the work
- It isn't necessary to have a new plan immediately. Indeed, if you do, you risk appearing over-eager to replace Andy. Announce that some assignments might change, and that you might introduce new resources. Estimate a date by which you expect changes, and ask for their patience.
- Beware asking for input from the team generally, because resource allocation and scheduling is your job. Consulting some team members is fine, but do so with discretion.
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More articles on Emotions at Work:
- Social Safety Margins
- As our personal workloads increase, we endure more stress and more time pressure. Inevitably, we have
less time for the social niceties that protect us from accidentally hurting each other's feelings. When
are we most at risk of incidental harm, and what can we do about it?
- Favors, Payback, and Thoughtlessness
- Someone at work who isn't particularly a friend or foe has asked you for a favor. What happens if you
say no? Do you grant the favor? How do you decide what to do?
- Inappropriate Levels of Regard
- The regard we have for others as people is sometimes influenced by the regard we have for the work they
do. Confusing the two is a dangerous error.
- Why Scope Expands: II
- The scope of an effort underway tends to expand over time. Why do scopes not contract just as often?
One cause might be cognitive biases that make us more receptive to expansion than contraction.
- On Differences and Disagreements
- When we disagree, it helps to remember that our differences often seem more marked than they really
are. Here are some hints for finding a path back to agreement.
Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout
- Coming April 25: Narcissistic Behavior at Work: VI
- Narcissistic behavior at work distorts decisions, disrupts relationships, and generates toxic conflict. These consequences limit the ability of the organization to achieve its goals. In this part of our series we examine the effects of exploiting others for personal ends. Available here and by RSS on April 25.
- And on May 2: Narcissistic Behavior at Work: VII
- Narcissistic behavior at work prevents trusting relationships from developing. It also disrupts existing relationships, and generates toxic conflict. One class of behaviors that's especially threatening to relationships is disregard for the feelings of others. In this part of our series we examine the effects of that disregard. Available here and by RSS on May 2.
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