As we saw last time, overtalking is expensive. It reduces the productivity of meetings, it intimidates people into withholding their contributions, and it enhances the risk of toxic conflict, which can permanently disrupt relationships. Let's now examine how we can prevent overtalking, and how we can intervene when it occurs.
I'll use the name Oscar to stand for the person who engages in overtalking. And I'll assume that the meeting in question is one in which more or less the same group meets repeatedly. Here's a short list of actions we can take.
- Adopt behavioral norms
- Adopt norms of behavior that preclude overtalking. Mention overtalking explicitly, saying that it is a deprecated behavior pattern.
- Recognize that overtalking is a performance issue
- Treating overtalking as a performance issue is a short path to an effective resolution — if a resolution is accessible at all. Have a private conversation with Oscar. If that doesn't work, ask Oscar's supervisor for assistance. If that doesn't work, ask your own supervisor to deal with Oscar's supervisor. If that doesn't work, the chances of improvement depend on the behavior of the rest of the group.
- Ask for help
- Ask Oscar for Treating overtalking as a
performance issue is a short
path to an effective
resolution — if a resolution
is accessible at allhelp in encouraging other meeting attendees to contribute. Explain that he can help by leaving space for others to contribute. If the overtalking comes from a place of eager earnestness, this tactic could be effective. If, on the other hand, the overtalking is a tactic employed to gain unfair advantage, or to abuse others, respectful requests for Oscar's help will likely fail.
- Recognize that others play roles too
- Dealing with problem behavior is everyone's responsibility. If overtalking has been effective for Oscar for some time, other attendees probably have contributed, either by not finding an effective way to deal with Oscar, or by not trying to deal with Oscar, or worse, by taking actions that exacerbated the situation. Have private conversations with those most willing to change. Suggest that if they ever feel that anyone else is overtalking when they're trying to speak, they can then ask the chair (or facilitator) to ask for order.
- Most meetings do have someone in a designated facilitator role. If there isn't a formal facilitator, the meeting chair is the facilitator. Ensuring that the meeting is productive is the facilitator's responsibility. Because overtalking reduces productivity, the facilitator is responsible for intervening when overtalking occurs. When it occurs, the facilitator can say, "Excuse me Oscar, <someone-else's-name> has the floor." If Oscar continues overtalking, the facilitator can repeat the intervention. If Oscar continues after that, adjourn the meeting immediately, and take the steps described above for performance issues. If you can't adjourn, declare a ten-minute break, but adjournment is far safer.
Overtalking is generally unpleasant in non-overtalking cultures. Unpleasant though it might be, keeping your focus on the productivity you can gain by eliminating overtalking can help motivate you as you work through the problem. Next in this seriesFirst in this series Top Next Issue
Are you fed up with tense, explosive meetings? Are you or a colleague the target of a bully? Destructive conflict can ruin organizations. But if we believe that all conflict is destructive, and that we can somehow eliminate conflict, or that conflict is an enemy of productivity, then we're in conflict with Conflict itself. Read 101 Tips for Managing Conflict to learn how to make peace with conflict and make it an organizational asset. Order Now!
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More articles on Conflict Management:
- What Makes a Good Question?
- In group discussion or group problem solving, many of us focus on being the first one to provide the
answer. The right answer can be good; but often, the right question can be better.
- Dismissive Gestures: I
- Humans are nothing if not inventive. In the modern organization, where verbal insults are deprecated,
we've developed hundreds of ways to insult each other silently (or nearly so). Here's part one of a
catalog of non-verbal insults.
- Logically Illogical
- Discussions in meetings and in written media can get long and complex. When a chain of reasoning gets
long enough, we sometimes make fundamental errors of logic, especially when we're under time pressure.
Here are just a few.
- How Targets of Bullies Can Use OODA: II
- To make the bullying stop, many targets of bullies try to defend themselves. But defense alone is not
sufficient — someone must make the bully stop. That's why counterattack is much more likely
- Pariah Professions: II
- In some organizations entire professions are regarded as pariahs — outsiders. They're expected
to perform functions that the organization does need, but their relationships with others in the organization
are strained at best. When pariahdom is tolerated, organizational performance suffers.
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- And on August 30: They Just Don't Understand
- When we cannot resolve an issue in open debate, we sometimes try to explain the obstinacy of others. The explanations we favor can tell us more about ourselves than they do about others. Available here and by RSS on August 30.
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more about this program. Here are some dates for this program:
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teams. In this program, Rick Brenner shows you how to change your approach to leading, managing, and
supporting virtual teams to achieve high performance using Simons' Four Spans model of high performance.
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Road, Berlin, CT 06416: September 19,
Monthly Meeting, Southern New England Chapter of the Project Management Institute. Register now.
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