Point Lookout: a free weekly publication of Chaco Canyon Consulting
Volume 23, Issue 25;   June 21, 2023: Asking Burning Questions

Asking Burning Questions

by

When we suddenly realize that an important question needs answering, directly asking that question in a meeting might not be an effective way to focus the attention of the group. There are risks. Fortunately, there are also ways to manage those risks.
A meeting of a small team working to resolve a serious matter

A meeting of a small team working to resolve a serious matter. Meetings of this size (or smaller) are probably best for raising questions that have far-reaching consequences. Their small size limits the risk of confusing innocent questions with attacks. In a small meeting, even if a question is taken as an attack, the small group has a better chance of sorting out the confusion.

From time to time, we recognize that our understanding of an issue has been incomplete, confused, or just plain wrong. And we suddenly realize that repairing our understanding is an urgent matter. When this happens in a meeting, a common approach is to ask a question. Usually, the person we ask is the person who was speaking at the time of our realization, but sometimes we pose the question to the meeting as a whole.

A much safer approach is to wait for a more private moment with someone whose expertise you respect and trust. But the sense of urgency is a demanding master, one that's difficult to resist. To help you resist, this post explores some of the more unpleasant consequences of asking burning questions in meetings.

Asking burning questions can be risky

Especially for questions that occur to you during the meeting, asking the burning question is a risky maneuver. Here are two examples of the risks.

The consequences of faulty understanding can be far-reaching
When you realize that your mastery of an issue is in doubt, the consequences can be difficult to predict. For example, you might not recognize that the answer to your burning question is obvious. Or you might not recognize that asking the question can offend someone in the meeting for reasons unknown to you. Most important, the void in your knowledge that causes you to ask the question can also limit your ability to understand the consequences of asking the question.
Your question might seem to be an attack
Questioning the Asking the burning, fundamental question
in a meeting, when it occurs to you, is a
risky maneuver. It can seem to others to
be an attack on the group's competence.
group's approach can be difficult to distinguish from questioning the group's competence. Two factors enhance this risk. First, the closer your question is to the foundation of the group's approach, the more difficulty the group might have interpreting your question correctly. Second, the more difficult it is for the group to alter its current approach, the more difficulty its members might have recognizing that you have asked your question in good faith.

These risks, and others, can be even more dangerous if you have a history of questioning the group's approach in its current effort, or other efforts. People might interpret your questions not as a good-faith effort to seek clarification, but as one more link in a long chain of attacks.

Silence might not be a safe option

If the essence of your question is within your area of responsibility, withholding your question can be as risky as asking it. The risk materializes if you have kept your counsel, and then at some point in the future, unwelcome events occur that could have been prevented or foreseen if you had raised the issue you've recognized. If the group is relying on you for expertise in a given domain, and if it turns out that you didn't alert the group to a difficulty within that domain, then, as they say, you would be in deep yogurt.

Instead of trying to find a quiet place to hide while withholding your question, seek instead a safer way to put your question to the group.

How to manage the risk of asking

Fortunately, tactics are available for surfacing your burning question while managing these risks.

Let go of seeking acknowledgement
Seeking acknowledgment of the contribution you make by asking the question is likely to enhance the risk you face. Appearing to have greater interest in enhancing your stature than you have in helping the group can cause group members to question your motives.
Seek safety in numbers
Being the only member of the group with an interest in your question can lead to others doubting your sincerity or questioning your expertise. If you can, raise your question privately to others before the meeting. You're then more likely to find support in the form of, "Yes, I wondered about that too." In the best case, someone else might raise the question in the meeting before you do.
Take baby steps
The fundamental nature of the question, and its far-reaching consequences, are the sources of the risks associated with asking it. To limit the effects, try asking questions that are related, but which have narrower focus and less dramatic consequences. The group then has a chance to approach the more daunting issue gradually. Some of them might even make the connection to the burning, larger question on their own, becoming your allies in curiosity. By leaving some space for others to contribute, you enable others to share in owning the question.

Last words

Just as silence is not a safe option, waiting is also risky, because the period of waiting before you act is indistinguishable from silence. If you decide not to reveal your question before or during the meeting, consider disclosing it privately afterwards to select group members at the earliest possible moment. That approach is a compromise that provides an opportunity for others to help guide broader disclosure. As such, it mitigates some risk, but it's clearly less desirable than full openness. Go to top Top  Next issue: Toxic Disrupters: Responses  Next Issue

101 Tips for Effective MeetingsDo you spend your days scurrying from meeting to meeting? Do you ever wonder if all these meetings are really necessary? (They aren't) Or whether there isn't some better way to get this work done? (There is) Read 101 Tips for Effective Meetings to learn how to make meetings much more productive and less stressful — and a lot more rare. Order Now!

Your comments are welcome

Would you like to see your comments posted here? rbrendPtoGuFOkTSMQOzxner@ChacEgGqaylUnkmwIkkwoCanyon.comSend me your comments by email, or by Web form.

About Point Lookout

This article in its entirety was written by a 
          human being. No machine intelligence was involved in any way.Thank you for reading this article. I hope you enjoyed it and found it useful, and that you'll consider recommending it to a friend.

This article in its entirety was written by a human being. No machine intelligence was involved in any way.

Point Lookout is a free weekly email newsletter. Browse the archive of past issues. Subscribe for free.

Support Point Lookout by joining the Friends of Point Lookout, as an individual or as an organization.

Do you face a complex interpersonal situation? Send it in, anonymously if you like, and I'll give you my two cents.

Related articles

More articles on Effective Meetings:

Senator Susan Collins of MaineDiscussion Distractions: I
Meetings could be far more productive, if only we could learn to recognize and prevent the distractions that lead us off topic and into the woods. Here is Part I of a small catalog of distractions frequently seen in meetings.
An early automotive assembly line trialThe End-to-End Cost of Meetings: III
Many complain about attending meetings. Certainly meetings can be maddening affairs, and they also cost way more than most of us appreciate. Understanding how much we spend on meetings might help us get control of them. Here's Part III of a survey of some less-appreciated costs.
XP-80 prototype Lulu-Belle on the groundRationalizing Creativity at Work: II
Creative thinking at work can be nurtured or encouraged, but not forced or compelled. Leaders who try to compel creativity because of very real financial and schedule pressures rarely get the results they seek. Here are examples of tactics people use in mostly-futile attempts to compel creativity.
Time is moneyCosts of the Catch-Me-Up Anti-Pattern: I
Your meetings start on time, but some people are habitually late. When they arrive, they ask, "What did I miss? Catch me up." This is an expensive way to do business. How expensive is it?
A working meetingPre-Decision Discussions: Facts
The purpose of some meetings is reaching decisions. Because decision making can be difficult, familiarity with the forms of contributions that can occur in such discussions is helpful. Their connection to facts is critical.

See also Effective Meetings and Conflict Management for more related articles.

Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout

A dangerous curve in an icy roadComing May 1: Antipatterns for Time-Constrained Communication: 2
Recognizing just a few patterns that can lead to miscommunication can reduce the incidence of miscommunications. Here's Part 2 of a collection of antipatterns that arise in communication under time pressure, emphasizing those that depend on content. Available here and by RSS on May 1.
And on May 8: Antipatterns for Time-Constrained Communication: 3
Recognizing just a few patterns that can lead to miscommunication can reduce the incidence of problems. Here is Part 3 of a collection of antipatterns that arise in technical communication under time pressure, emphasizing past experiences of participants. Available here and by RSS on May 8.

Coaching services

I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact Rick for details at rbrendPtoGuFOkTSMQOzxner@ChacEgGqaylUnkmwIkkwoCanyon.com or (650) 787-6475, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.

Get the ebook!

Past issues of Point Lookout are available in six ebooks:

Reprinting this article

Are you a writer, editor or publisher on deadline? Are you looking for an article that will get people talking and get compliments flying your way? You can have 500-1000 words in your inbox in one hour. License any article from this Web site. More info

Follow Rick

Send email or subscribe to one of my newsletters Follow me at LinkedIn Follow me at X, or share a post Subscribe to RSS feeds Subscribe to RSS feeds
The message of Point Lookout is unique. Help get the message out. Please donate to help keep Point Lookout available for free to everyone.
Technical Debt for Policymakers BlogMy blog, Technical Debt for Policymakers, offers resources, insights, and conversations of interest to policymakers who are concerned with managing technical debt within their organizations. Get the millstone of technical debt off the neck of your organization!
Go For It: Sometimes It's Easier If You RunBad boss, long commute, troubling ethical questions, hateful colleague? Learn what we can do when we love the work but not the job.
303 Tips for Virtual and Global TeamsLearn how to make your virtual global team sing.
101 Tips for Managing ChangeAre you managing a change effort that faces rampant cynicism, passive non-cooperation, or maybe even outright revolt?
101 Tips for Effective MeetingsLearn how to make meetings more productive — and more rare.
Exchange your "personal trade secrets" — the tips, tricks and techniques that make you an ace — with other aces, anonymously. Visit the Library of Personal Trade Secrets.
If your teams don't yet consistently achieve state-of-the-art teamwork, check out this catalog. Help is just a few clicks/taps away!
Ebooks, booklets and tip books on project management, conflict, writing email, effective meetings and more.