Chaco Canyon Consulting

AddThis Button The Loving/Hating Organizational Coping Pattern

by Rick Brenner

In coping by Loving/Hating, the organization is driven by its relationships with other organizations, people or ideas. Whether finally to destroy that organization, person or idea; or to attach itself thereto in permanent adoration and ethereal bliss, it ignores almost everything and everyone else external to the focal relationship.

This is a portion of an essay on Organizational Coping Patterns — patterns of organizational behavior relative to stressful, challenging situations.


In the Loving/Hating coping pattern, the group is driven by its relationship with other ideas, people or organizations. It ignores almost everything and everyone else external to the focal relationship. As an example of the "Hating" form of the Loving/Hating pattern, the group might be in competition with another organization, possibly one developing a competitive technology. In this form, one might hear something like: "We're competing with the mainframe upgrade for the same resources, so we have to keep this quiet until we get through the budget cycle." The competitor might be another company or institution, or it might be an internal competitor, but in either case, there's an element of vendetta in the group's behavior.

The relationship in question need not directly involve the organization. Of course, it's easier to see the relationship when the organization is directly involved, but it's no less significant when direct involvement is absent. For example, the football coach who motivates the players to such an extent that some of them engage in the use of illegal performance-enhancing drugs might have moved the team into a Loving/Hating coping pattern in which the team becomes so obsessed with its relationship to Tradition that they feel that they must win the championship for the school at any cost.

Loving Vignette

The Loving/Hating diagram
The Loving/Hating Configuration
How would the emergency project situation unfold when an organization is coping in the Loving mode of a Loving/Hating pattern? We might hear questions and comments such as these:

Hating Vignette

Credit cards we accept
How would the emergency project situation unfold when an organization is coping in the Hating mode of a Loving/Hating pattern? We might hear questions and comments such as these.

From Loving/Hating to Congruence

In the Loving/Hating pattern, it is perhaps most difficult to keep yourself from being caught up in the dynamic. Everyone around you expresses the Loving/Hating position — relative to a technology, or to the tactics of a competitor, or to the organizational politics of a rival. Therein lies the paradox of your personal position: unless you have first-hand information to support or contradict the organizational dogma, you must rely on the conventional wisdom. At the same time, to help transform a Loving/Hating organization to Congruence, you must begin by rejecting the conventional wisdom. This is hard to do, because you might not know which parts of the conventional wisdom are actually conventional foolishness.

To find out, look carefully at all beliefs that lack factual foundation. If you find some, check around for differences of opinion. If there really is no factual foundation, it's only reasonable to expect to find some people who disagree. When you find one of these pieces of conventional wisdom, and no naysayers, that's a strong indication of a supporting element of a Loving/Hating dynamic in the organization. At that point, you can ask the simple question "How do we know that?"   Go to top  Top
AddThis Button

Back to "Organizational Coping Patterns"


Reprinting this article
Are you a writer, editor or publisher on deadline? Are you looking for an article that will get people talking and get compliments flying your way? You can have 500 words in your inbox in one hour. License any article from this Web site. More info
 
Contact Information
Download vCard
Download vCard
Richard Brenner
Chaco Canyon Consulting
700 Huron Avenue, Suite 11J
Cambridge MA, 02138

Phone: (617) 491-6289
Toll-free: (866) 378-5470 in the continental US
Fax: (617) 395-2628
Email: rbrenner@ChacoCanyon.com
Copyright © 1998-2008 Richard Brenner. All Rights Reserved.
Site Map  Terms of Use  Privacy Policy  Returns Policy
Date and time limits of special offers on this site are New York time.
Last Modified: Wednesday, 16-Jul-2008 04:46:39 EDT
Valid HTML 4.0! Valid CSS!
Want to tame the hassles of business travel?
202 Tips for Business TravelEver wonder if there isn't a better way to travel? Travel is essential, but the hassles of travel aren't. Read 202 Tips for Business Travel to learn how to convert business travel from a time-wasting hassle to a breeze. Revised and updated for 2008 with 101 new tips! Check it out!
More
How to Spot a Troubled Project
How to Spot a Troubled Project Before the Trouble StartsProjects never go quite as planned. We expect that, but we don't expect disaster. How can we get better at spotting disaster when there's still time to prevent it? How to Spot a Troubled Project Before the Trouble Starts is filled with tips for executives, senior managers, managers of project managers, and sponsors of projects in project-oriented organizations. Check it out!
More
Support
Point Lookout
by starting your Amazon search here
When you start here, a part of every purchase you make goes to support Point Lookout, at no cost to you.
Search Now:
Amazon Logo
Love the Work But Not the Job?
Go For It: Sometimes It's Easier If You RunAre you doing work you love? Are you less in love with the job? Bad boss, long commute, troubling ethical questions, hateful colleague? Read Go For It! Sometimes It's Easier If You Run to learn what we can do when we love the work but not the job. It helps you get moving again!
More
Is "leading" your organization a white-knuckle ride?
52 Tips for Leaders of Project-Oriented OrganizationsAre your projects always late and over budget? Are your project teams plagued by turnover, burnout, and high defect rates? Turn your culture around. Read 52 Tips for Leaders of Project-Oriented Organizations, filled with tips & techniques for organizational leaders. Check it out!
More
Are you plagued by rivalries and destructive conflicts?
101 Tips for Managing ConflictAre you fed up with tense, explosive meetings? Are you or a colleague targets of a bully? Read 101 Tips for Managing Conflict to learn how to make peace with conflict. Check it out!
More
Is your organization mired in Meeting Madness?
101 Tips for Effective MeetingsDo you ever wonder if all these meetings are really necessary? (They aren't) Or whether there isn't some better way to get this work done? (There is) Read 101 Tips for Effective Meetings to learn how to make meetings more productive — and more rare. Check it out!
More
Complete list of available publications
Ebooks, booklets and tip books on project management, conflict, writing email, effective meetings and more.
More
Subscribe to my free newsletter
Point Lookout, a free, weekly, email newsletter, gives concrete tips and suggestions for dealing with the challenging but everyday situations we all face. Subscribe instantly or read more about it.
More
Download a
catalog of services
If your teams don't yet consistently achieve state-of-the-art teamwork, check out this catalog. I can help!
More
State of the Art Teamwork Essays on Teamwork, Conflict and Project Management April Is Workplace Conflict Awareness Month Workshops and Seminars Point Lookout Archive for 2006 Point Lookout Archive for 2001 Point Lookout Archive for 2002 Point Lookout Archive for 2003 Point Lookout Archive for 2004 Point Lookout Archive for 2005 E-Books and E-Booklets for People at Work Google