In group discussion or group problem solving, many of us focus on being the first one to provide the answer. The right answer can be good; but often, the right question can be better.
A hearing in the U.S. Senate, in which Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld is responding to questions about appropriations. Confrontational questioning rarely elicits complete truth. Photo courtesy U.S. Senate.
uddenly, everyone in the room felt the tension. On the surface, Harriet had asked a simple question: 'When will Marigold complete the Phoenix test suite?' It wasn't her tone; it wasn't even the question. Everyone wanted to know the answer. And it wasn't Terry's answer — he responded coolly: "Friday, we think."
Everyone was tense because of the fear that Terry might lose control, and because everyone knew that he would have provided the answer without being asked. Harriet's question was gratuitously challenging, and everyone knew the answer would be embarrassing for Terry.
Unnecessary questions derail the meeting and waste timeGratuitous challenges are just one of many kinds of questions that cause tension at meetings. But what makes a good question? Here are some insights to help you frame questions that advance the conversation.
Unnecessary questions are expensive
An unnecessary question is one that you could have answered yourself if only you had given it a little thought. Unnecessary questions derail the meeting and waste time. But the asker pays the highest price: degraded reputation. Most unnecessary questions result from not thinking, from inattentiveness, or from obsessive attempts to prove one's value.
Off-topic questions are frustrating
A question that takes the group away from its task can be frustrating to everyone, especially if the meeting is running longer than anticipated. Once people feel frustrated, work quality declines. For the rare off-topic questions that do need to be asked, either wait for the right moment, or ask for the group's permission.
Confrontational questions lead to destructive conflict
When you set up a confrontation, you increase the chances of destructive conflict. Whatever happens next is usually bad news, and doesn't advance the group to its goal. Some askers of confrontational questions don't realize what they're doing. Most do. To be safe, be self-effacing. Err on the side of too much courtesy and too much respect.
Wait a bit
When you do have a question, let it age a little. You might think of the answer, or if someone else asks it, you'll get the answer. If no one does ask, you can.
You don't have to know the answer
Some feel that to really score points, we must know the answers to our questions. Then, when people don't have an answer, the asker can come to the rescue. The most likely outcome of such an approach is resentment of the asker. Ask questions only when you sincerely want the answers.
Ask brilliant questions
Truly brilliant questions open up new vistas, or they rescue the group from blind alleys. To generate brilliant questions, isolate an assumption everyone is making, and ask yourself, 'What would happen if that weren't true?'
Maybe some of you know some other techniques for asking good questions. What are they? TopNext Issue
Are you fed up with tense, explosive meetings? Are you or a colleague the target of a bully? Destructive conflict can ruin organizations. But if we believe that all conflict is destructive, and that we can somehow eliminate conflict, or that conflict is an enemy of productivity, then we're in conflict with Conflict itself. Read 101 Tips for Managing Conflict to learn how to make peace with conflict and make it an organizational asset. Order Now!
If your job responsibilities sometimes require that you tell powerful people that they must do something differently, you could find yourself in danger from time to time. You can learn a lot from tugboat captains.
Getting to the truth can be a difficult task for managers. People sometimes withhold, spin or slant reports, especially when the implications are uncomfortable or threatening. A culture that supports truth telling can be an organization's most valuable asset.
Nearly everyone complains that email is a time waster. Yet much of the problem results from our own actions. Here's Part III of a little catalog of things we do that help waste our time.
Most of us feel recognized, respected and acknowledged when others use our names. And many of us have difficulty remembering the names of others, especially those we don't know well. How can we get better at connecting names and faces?
Participating in or managing a virtual team presents special communications challenges. Here are some guidelines for communicating with members of virtual teams.
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The Politics of Meetings for People Who Hate Politics
There's a lot more to running an effective meeting than having the right room, the right equipment, and the right people. With meetings, the whole really is more than the sum of its parts. How the parts interact with each other and with external elements is as important as the parts themselves. And those interactions are the essence of politics for meetings. This program explores techniques for leading meetings that are based on understanding political interactions, and using that knowledge effectively to meet organizational goals. Read more about this program. Here's an upcoming date for this program:
Person-to-Person Communication for Project Managers
When we talk, listen, send or read emails, read or write memos, or when we leave or listen to voice mail messages, we're communicating person-to-person. And whenever we communicate person-to-person, we risk being misunderstood, offending others, feeling hurt, and being confused. There are so many ways for things to go wrong that we could never learn how to fix all the problems. A more effective approach avoids problems altogether, or at least minimizes their occurrence. In this very interactive program you'll learn a model of inter-personal communications that can help you stay out of the ditch. In those moments of intense involvement, when we're most likely to slip, you'll have a new tool to use to keep things constructive. Read more about this program. Here are some upcoming dates for this program:
Ever wonder if there isn't a better way to travel? Travel is essential, but the hassles of travel aren't. Read 202 Tips for Business Travel to learn how to convert business travel from a time-wasting hassle to a breeze. Revised and updated for 2008 with 101 new tips! Check it out!
Are you doing work you love? Are you less in love with the job? Bad boss, long commute, troubling ethical questions, hateful colleague? Read Go For It! Sometimes It's Easier If You Run to learn what we can do when we love the work but not the job. It helps you get moving again!
The key to managing virtual or global teams is creating a sense of team despite the obstacles of separation. Read my tips booklet, 303 Tips for Virtual and Global Teams, to learn how to make your virtual global team sing. Newly revised and updated for 2008 with 101 new tips! Check it out!
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A Tip a Day arrives by email each business day. It's 20 to 30 words at most, and gives you a new perspective on the hassles and rewards of work life. Most tips also contain links to related articles. Free!
Do you ever wonder if all these meetings are really necessary? (They aren't) Or whether there isn't some better way to get this work done? (There is) Read 101 Tips for Effective Meetings to learn how to make meetings more productive — and more rare. Check it out!
Exchange your "personal trade secrets" — the tips, tricks and techniques that make you an ace — with other aces, anonymously. Visit the Library of Personal Trade Secrets.
uddenly, everyone in the room felt the tension. On the surface, Harriet had asked a simple question: 'When will Marigold complete the Phoenix test suite?' It wasn't her tone; it wasn't even the question. Everyone wanted to know the answer. And it wasn't Terry's answer — he responded coolly: "Friday, we think."
Top 
Next IssueAre you fed up with tense, explosive meetings? Are you or a colleague the target of a bully? Destructive conflict can ruin organizations. But if we believe that all conflict is destructive, and that we can somehow eliminate conflict, or that conflict is an enemy of productivity, then we're in conflict with Conflict itself. Read 101 Tips for Managing Conflict to learn how to make peace with conflict and make it an organizational asset. Order Now!
Become a Tugboat Captain
Encourage Truth Telling
Email Antics: Part III
Names and Faces
Virtual Communications: Part I
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Ever wonder if there isn't a better way to travel? Travel is essential, but the hassles of travel aren't. Read 202 Tips for Business Travel to learn how to convert business travel from a time-wasting hassle to a breeze. Revised and updated for 2008 with 101 new tips! Check it out!
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Are you doing work you love? Are you less in love with the job? Bad boss, long commute, troubling ethical questions, hateful colleague? Read Go For It! Sometimes It's Easier If You Run to learn what we can do when we love the work but not the job. It helps you get moving again!
The key to managing virtual or global teams is creating a sense of team despite the obstacles of separation. Read my tips booklet, 303 Tips for Virtual and Global Teams, to learn how to make your virtual global team sing. Newly revised and updated for 2008 with 101 new tips! Check it out!
Are you managing a change effort that faces rampant cynicism, passive non-cooperation, or maybe even outright revolt? Read 101 Tips for Managing Change to learn how to plan and execute your change efforts to inspire real, passionate support. Check it out!
A Tip a Day arrives by email each business day. It's 20 to 30 words at most, and gives you a new perspective on the hassles and rewards of work life. Most tips also contain links to related articles. Free!
Do you ever wonder if all these meetings are really necessary? (They aren't) Or whether there isn't some better way to get this work done? (There is) Read 101 Tips for Effective Meetings to learn how to make meetings more productive — and more rare. Check it out!
