Make a list of the 30 people you work with most closely. Over the next few days, imagine answering questions like these about each person:
- What are their career goals?
- What parts of their jobs do they like most? Least?
- How are they doing on their most important tasks?
- Are they in trouble in anything they're doing?
- Are they concealing any of those troubles?
- How do they plan to resolve the problems, if there are any problems?
We don't usually speak candidly about these things. We might have a few close confidants, but for most of us, they number much less than 30. Most of us talk honestly about these things only outside of work. At work, we're mostly blank slates to each other.
Well, not totally blank. When we lack information about other people's motives, concerns, worries, or yearnings, we tend to speculate. We just make it up. Often, we believe we know what's going on for the people around us. And many of us just make it up without realizing we're making it up.
Many of us are working with semi-fictional or mostly-fictional representations of each other. It's risky, because the judgments and assumptions people make about each other are usually wrong. That collaborations work as well as they do is almost miraculous.
What can you do about this? When you can, help others avoid speculating by filling in the blanks about yourself.
- You can't deny the obvious
- When you're in serious trouble, so serious that it's obvious to many, denying its seriousness just isn't credible. "Everything is under control" isn't believable when the roof is falling in. Acknowledge the problems. Acknowledge that some aren't yet being addressed effectively. Say something about how you plan to change that. Detail isn't required. Demonstrating a grasp on reality is required.
- Be (judiciously) open about your plans
- If you have plans with regard to your area of responsibility, be sure your boss knows about them. Keeping your plans to yourself leaves opportunities for anxiety and worry. One exception: if your boss is a micromanager, openness about your plans invites yet more micromanagement. Be judicious.
- You can't conceal personal problems completely
- Most of us When you're in serious trouble,
so serious that it's obvious to
many, denying its seriousness
just isn't crediblecan't consistently hide personal problems from everyone. The word gets out. Maybe people can't tell exactly what's troubling you, but they can tell that something is. Waiting to be asked, or denying that anything is wrong when you are asked, only adds to others' concerns. By contrast, preempting the inquiries by disclosing just a little information usually dampens curiosity. To those rude enough to demand details, you can respond, "I'd rather not say more." Since they probably wouldn't be satisfied with any level of detail, you'd eventually reach that point anyway. The sooner the better.
Love the work but not the job? Bad boss, long commute, troubling ethical questions, hateful colleague? This ebook looks at what we can do to get more out of life at work. It helps you get moving again! Read Go For It! Sometimes It's Easier If You Run, filled with tips and techniques for putting zing into your work life. Order Now!
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More articles on Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness:
- Asking Clarifying Questions
- In a job interview, the interviewer asks you a question. You're unsure how to answer. You can blunder
ahead, or you can ask a clarifying question. What is a clarifying question, and when is it helpful to ask one?
- Finding Work in Tough Times: Infrastructure
- Finding work in tough times goes a lot more easily if you have at least a minimum of equipment and space
to do the job. Here are some thoughts about getting that infrastructure and managing it.
- Ending Sidebars
- We say that a sidebar is underway in a meeting when two or more meeting participants converse without
having been recognized by the Chair. Sidebars can be helpful, but they can also be disruptive. How can
we end sidebars quickly and politely?
- Contextual Causes of Conflict: I
- When destructive conflict erupts, we usually hold responsible only the people directly involved. But
the choices of others, and general circumstances, can be the real causes of destructive conflict.
- Still More Things I've Learned Along the Way
- When I have an important insight, or when I'm taught a lesson, I write it down. Here's another batch
from my personal collection.
Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout
- Coming August 23: Look Where You Aren't Looking
- Being blindsided by an adverse event could indicate the event's sudden, unexpected development. It can also indicate a failure to anticipate what could have been reasonably anticipated. How can we improve our ability to prepare for adverse events? Available here and by RSS on August 23.
- And on August 30: They Just Don't Understand
- When we cannot resolve an issue in open debate, we sometimes try to explain the obstinacy of others. The explanations we favor can tell us more about ourselves than they do about others. Available here and by RSS on August 30.
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- The Race to the South Pole: Ten Lessons for Project Managers
- On 14 December 1911, four men led by Roald
Amundsen reached the South Pole. Thirty-five days later, Robert F. Scott and four others followed. Amundsen
had won the race to the pole. Amundsen's party returned to base on 26 January 1912. Scott's party perished.
As historical drama, why this happened is interesting enough, but to organizational leaders, business
analysts, project sponsors, and project managers, the story is fascinating. Lessons abound. Read
more about this program. Here are some dates for this program:
- The Westin Virginia Beach Town Center, 4535 Commerce Street,
Virginia Beach, VA 23462: September 13,
Monthly Meeting, Hampton Roads Chapter of the Project Management Institute. Register now.
- CTCPA, 716 Brook Street,
Rocky Hill, CT 06067: September 20,
Full-day Workshop, Southern New England Chapter of the Project Management Institute. Register now.
- The Westin Virginia Beach Town Center, 4535 Commerce Street, Virginia Beach, VA 23462: September 13, Monthly Meeting, Hampton Roads Chapter of the Project Management Institute. Register now.
- Creating High Performance Virtual Teams
- Many people experience virtual teams as awkward, slow, and sometimes
frustrating. Even when most team members hail from the same nation or culture, and even when they all
speak the same language, geographic dispersion or the presence of employees from multiple enterprises
is often enough to exclude all possibility of high performance. The problem is that we lead, manage,
and support virtual teams in ways that are too much like the way we lead, manage, and support co-located
teams. In this program, Rick Brenner shows you how to change your approach to leading, managing, and
supporting virtual teams to achieve high performance using Simons' Four Spans model of high performance.
Read more about this program. Here's a date for this
- Baci Grill, 134 Berlin
Road, Berlin, CT 06416: September 19,
Monthly Meeting, Southern New England Chapter of the Project Management Institute. Register now.
- Baci Grill, 134 Berlin Road, Berlin, CT 06416: September 19, Monthly Meeting, Southern New England Chapter of the Project Management Institute. Register now.
- The Power Affect: How We Express Our Personal Power
- Many people who possess real organizational power have a characteristic demeanor. It's the way they project their presence. I call this the power affect. Some people — call them power pretenders — adopt the power affect well before they attain significant organizational power. Unfortunately for their colleagues, and for their organizations, power pretenders can attain organizational power out of proportion to their merit or abilities. Understanding the power affect is therefore important for anyone who aims to attain power, or anyone who works with power pretenders. Read more about this program.