Make a list of the 30 people you work with most closely. Over the next few days, imagine answering questions like these about each person:
- What are their career goals?
- What parts of their jobs do they like most? Least?
- How are they doing on their most important tasks?
- Are they in trouble in anything they're doing?
- Are they concealing any of those troubles?
- How do they plan to resolve the problems, if there are any problems?
We don't usually speak candidly about these things. We might have a few close confidants, but for most of us, they number much less than 30. Most of us talk honestly about these things only outside of work. At work, we're mostly blank slates to each other.
Well, not totally blank. When we lack information about other people's motives, concerns, worries, or yearnings, we tend to speculate. We just make it up. Often, we believe we know what's going on for the people around us. And many of us just make it up without realizing we're making it up.
Many of us are working with semi-fictional or mostly-fictional representations of each other. It's risky, because the judgments and assumptions people make about each other are usually wrong. That collaborations work as well as they do is almost miraculous.
What can you do about this? When you can, help others avoid speculating by filling in the blanks about yourself.
- You can't deny the obvious
- When you're in serious trouble, so serious that it's obvious to many, denying its seriousness just isn't credible. "Everything is under control" isn't believable when the roof is falling in. Acknowledge the problems. Acknowledge that some aren't yet being addressed effectively. Say something about how you plan to change that. Detail isn't required. Demonstrating a grasp on reality is required.
- Be (judiciously) open about your plans
- If you have plans with regard to your area of responsibility, be sure your boss knows about them. Keeping your plans to yourself leaves opportunities for anxiety and worry. One exception: if your boss is a micromanager, openness about your plans invites yet more micromanagement. Be judicious.
- You can't conceal personal problems completely
- Most of us When you're in serious trouble,
so serious that it's obvious to
many, denying its seriousness
just isn't crediblecan't consistently hide personal problems from everyone. The word gets out. Maybe people can't tell exactly what's troubling you, but they can tell that something is. Waiting to be asked, or denying that anything is wrong when you are asked, only adds to others' concerns. By contrast, preempting the inquiries by disclosing just a little information usually dampens curiosity. To those rude enough to demand details, you can respond, "I'd rather not say more." Since they probably wouldn't be satisfied with any level of detail, you'd eventually reach that point anyway. The sooner the better.
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More articles on Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness:
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- Avoid Having to Reframe Failure
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Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout
- Coming December 13: Reframing Revision Resentment: II
- When we're required to revise something previously produced — prose, designs, software, whatever, we sometimes experience frustration with those requiring the revisions. Here are some alternative perspectives that can be helpful. Available here and by RSS on December 13.
- And on December 20: Conceptual Mondegreens
- When we disagree about abstractions, such as a problem solution, or a competitor's strategy, the cause can often be misunderstanding the abstraction. That misunderstanding can be a conceptual mondegreen. Available here and by RSS on December 20.
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- Person-to-Person Communications: Models and Applications
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read or write memos, or when we leave or listen to voice mail messages, we're communicating person-to-person.
And whenever we communicate person-to-person, we risk being misunderstood, offending others, feeling
hurt, and being confused. There are so many ways for things to go wrong that we could never learn how
to fix all the problems. A more effective approach avoids problems altogether, or at least minimizes
their occurrence. In this very interactive program we'll explain — and show you how to use —
a model of inter-personal communications that can help you stay out of the ditch. We'll place particular
emphasis on a very tricky situation — expressing your personal power. In those moments of intense
involvement, when we're most likely to slip, you'll have a new tool to use to keep things constructive.
Read more about this program. Here's a date for this
- Embassy Suites by Hilton Jacksonville Baymeadows, 9300 Baymeadows
Road, Jacksonville, Florida, 32256, USA: January 15, 2018,
Monthly Meeting, Northeast Florida Chapter of the Project Management Institute. Register now.
- Embassy Suites by Hilton Jacksonville Baymeadows, 9300 Baymeadows Road, Jacksonville, Florida, 32256, USA: January 15, 2018, Monthly Meeting, Northeast Florida Chapter of the Project Management Institute. Register now.
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- Many people who possess real organizational power have a characteristic demeanor. It's the way they project their presence. I call this the power affect. Some people — call them power pretenders — adopt the power affect well before they attain significant organizational power. Unfortunately for their colleagues, and for their organizations, power pretenders can attain organizational power out of proportion to their merit or abilities. Understanding the power affect is therefore important for anyone who aims to attain power, or anyone who works with power pretenders. Read more about this program.