Your Wishing Wand

Standing at Jordan's door, Stephanie couldn't stop smiling. That started Jordan smiling, too — he couldn't help it. "Come in, sit," he said to Stephanie. "Spill."

"I wished, and it happened," she began. "I must have magic powers."

"I don't know about that, but tell me what happened." Jordan hated being teased, even a little.

"OK. Day before yesterday, driving home, I'm imagining that Marigold could somehow be kept alive. I'm wishing for the chance to tell Emmons how to fight for it. I work out exactly what I would say. Then yesterday — it's freakish — I get that chance. And today I find out it worked."

"Amazing," said Jordan, "you saved Marigold. Congratulations!"

"Emmons saved Marigold," Stephanie said. "I just wished him the will."

You do have
a wishing wand,
though you might not
be using it often.
Seen it lately?Stephanie did more than wishing him the will. She showed him the way. She was ready for the opportunity because she had used her wishing wand. You have a wishing wand, too, though you might not be using it often. Maybe a little user's guide will help.

Wish for the possible

Your wishes are more likely to come true if you wish for the possible. A wish to fly like a bird is less likely to come true than a wish for an airline ticket to Tahiti.

Wish for the wonderful

Within the range of the possible, there's plenty of room for the wonderful. Take ten seconds — right now — to wish for something wonderful. See how easy it is?

Wish for good

Wishes for harm to come to anyone are poisonous. The feelings you create while contemplating these wishes are your feelings. They hurt only you.

Wish for yourself, for others, and for all

Wishes in fairy tales are often self-centered. Try wishing for others, and for all of us. Whenever a wish comes true, you feel the same thrill, no matter who benefits.

Not wishing doesn't help

Some of us fear the pain of disappointment when a wish doesn't come true, so we don't wish at all. What a loss! Dealing with disappointment is a critical skill. Wishing gives you opportunities to practice your skill.

If you know what you really, really want, you're a lot more likely to get it

Deciding what to wish for is what does the magic. Deciding helps you focus on some things, and let others go. This makes you more likely to make the little moves that make your dreams come true, and less likely to make the little moves that keep your wishes wishes.

Do you have a wishing wand? Have you ever had one? If you don't have one, make one. Keep it handy. Use it often. Wish for something for yourself, for someone else, and for us all.  Top    Next Issue

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More about achieving goals

Corrales Mentales  [July 4, 2001]

Perhaps you've achieved every goal you've ever set yourself, but if you're like most of us, some important goals have remained elusive. Maybe you had bad luck, or you weren't in the right place at the right time. But it's just possible that you got in your own way. Getting out of your own way can help make things happen.

Commitment Makes It Easier  [October 16, 2002]

When you face obstacles, sometimes the path around or through them is difficult. Committing yourself to the path lets you focus all your energy on the path you've chosen.

Beyond WIIFM  [August 13, 2003]

Probably the most widely used tactic of persuasion, "What's In It For Me," or WIIFM, can be toxic to an organization. There's a much healthier approach that provides a competitive advantage to organizations that use it.

Give It Your All  [May 19, 2004]

If you have the time and resources to read this, you probably have a pretty good situation, or you have what it takes to be looking for one. In many ways, you're one of the fortunate few. Are you making the most of the wonderful things you have? Are you giving it your all?

Knowing Where You're Going  [April 20, 2005]

Groups that can't even agree on what to do can often find themselves debating about how to do it. Here are some simple things to remember to help you focus on defining the goal.

Workplace Myths: Motivating People  [July 19, 2006]

Up and down the org chart, you can find bits of business wisdom about motivating people. We generally believe these theories without question. How many of them are true? How many are myths? What are some of these myths and why do they persist?

Astonishing Successes  [January 31, 2007]

When we have successes that surprise us, we do feel good, but beyond that, our reactions are sometimes self-defeating. What happens when we experience unanticipated success, and how can we handle it better?

Achieving Goals: Inspiring Passion and Action  [February 14, 2007]

Achieving your goals requires both passion and action. Knowing when to emphasize passion and when to emphasize action are the keys to managing yourself, or others, toward achievement.

Your comments are welcome

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Related articles

More articles on Emotions at Work:

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Are You Micromanaging Yourself?

Feeling distrusted and undervalued, we often attribute the problem to the behavior of others — to the micromanager who might be mistreating us. We tend not to examine our own contributions to the difficulty. Are you micromanaging yourself?

Irrational Self-Interest

When we try to influence others, especially large groups or entire companies, we sometimes create packages of incentives and disincentives that are intended to affect behavior. These strategies usually assume that people make choices on rational grounds. Is this assumption valid?

Reverse Micromanagement

Micromanagement is too familiar to too many of us. Less familiar is inappropriate interference in the reverse direction — in the work of our supervisors or even higher in the chain. Disciplinary action isn't always helpful, especially when some of the causes of reverse micromanagement are organizational.

Scope Creep and the Planning Fallacy

Much is known about scope creep, but it nevertheless occurs with such alarming frequency that in some organizations, it's a certainty. Perhaps what keeps us from controlling it better is that its causes can't be addressed with management methodology. Its causes might be, in part, psychological.

See also Emotions at Work for more related articles.

Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout

Coming July 23: Microdelegation

Microdelegation is a style of delegation in which the delegator unintentionally communicates the task to the subordinate in such detail and so repetitively that the subordinate is offended. As a result of this delegation style, many subordinates feel distrusted or suspected of fraud or goldbricking. Available here and by RSS on July 23.

And on July 30: What the Dunning-Kruger Effect Actually Is

Although the Dunning-Kruger Effect is widely recognized, people describe it — and understand it — in many different ways. Some of these expressions are misleading. Proceed with caution. Available here and by RSS on July 30.

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