As the meeting continued, and her task list grew, Ellie got anxious. Making any changes so close to the demonstration was risky at best. But the number and complexity of these changes meant that she would be working long hours under pressure. So she spoke up. "I'm getting a little worried," she began. "This is a lot of work, and it has to be done right or we could be in trouble."
Warner didn't miss a beat. "We'll be in bigger trouble if it doesn't get done."
Threatening was one of Warner's favorite tactics, and Ellie had had enough. So she called him on it. "Oh? What kind of trouble?"
Warner escalated. "Do you like having a job?"
Ellie and Warner were now officially in a tangle — one of the many serious consequences of using threats as a tool of influence. Their relationship had been in tatters for a while, in part because of Warner's persistent use of threats.
People use threats
because threats seem to
be extremely cheapPeople use threats because threats seem to be extremely cheap, if they work. Threats can achieve quick results for very little effort. All you have to do is deliver the threat. But the real costs are high, and they're often invisible to those who threaten.
- Eroded credibility
- To maintain the credibility of the threat tactic, occasional demonstrations are necessary. But since the goal of most threateners is influence or compliance, and since the threatened typically do comply, opportunities to carry out personal threats are rare. Over time, the threatener's credibility inevitably erodes.
- Damaged relationships
- Threats erode our sense of safety. They reduce our willingness to disclose anything that might add to our sense of fear. These conditions lead to distrust and speculation, and they make healthy relationships difficult.
- Feelings of resentment
- When threats are personal, as Ellie experienced with Warren, they can lead to resentment and an I'll-show-them attitude. For instance, the threatened might engage in conspiracies of silence or even of action. Those less comfortable with overtly destructive acts might choose passively destructive acts, such as withholding information about problems for which they aren't directly responsible.
- Decline in motivation and creativity
- People who feel threatened might begin to husband their output, reserving it for use when they need to respond to the next threat. Certainly the atmosphere on the job becomes unpleasant, and the thrills become hard to find. The threatened often adopt a get-through-the-day attitude.
If you're subjected to threats at work, and you notice the effects on your level of joy, do what you can to lift yourself above it. Recognize the emptiness of the threatener's toolkit, and resolve to find a different way to influence people yourself.
If you use threats now and then, I hope you'll look for alternatives. Or else. Top
Next Issue
Are you fed up with tense, explosive meetings? Are you or a colleague the target of a bully? Destructive conflict can ruin organizations. But if we believe that all conflict is destructive, and that we can somehow eliminate conflict, or that conflict is an enemy of productivity, then we're in conflict with Conflict itself. Read 101 Tips for Managing Conflict to learn how to make peace with conflict and make it an organizational asset. Order Now!
One form of threat people feel comfortable using is the indirect threat. The comfort comes from the ambiguity of the threat; if "caught," the threatener can claim, "Oh, I didn't mean that." Despite the indirectness, the threat is still destructive. For more on indirectness, see "The True Costs of Indirectness," Point Lookout for November 29, 2006.
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Related articles
More articles on Workplace Bullying:
Some Truths About Lies: II
- Knowing when someone else is lying doesn't make you a more ethical person, but it sure can be an advantage
if you want to stay out of trouble. Here's Part II of a catalog of techniques misleaders use.
Seventeen Guidelines About Workplace Bullying
- Bullying is a complex social pattern. Thinking clearly about bullying is difficult in the moment because
our emotions can distract us. Here are some short insights about bullying that are easy to remember
in the moment.
Even "Isolated Incidents" Can Be Bullying
- Many organizations have anti-bullying policies that address only repeated patterns of interpersonal
aggression. Such definitions expose the organization and its people to the harmful effects of "isolated
incidents" of interpersonal aggression, because even isolated incidents can be bullying.
Overt Verbal Abuse at Work
- Verbal abuse in the workplace involves using written or spoken language to disparage, to disadvantage,
or to otherwise harm others. Perpetrators tend to favor tactics that they can subsequently deny having
used to harm anyone.
Online Ethics
- The array of media for exchanging our thoughts in text has created new opportunities for acting unethically.
Cyberbullying is one well-known example. But sending text is just one way to cross the line ethically.
Here are some examples of alternatives.
See also Workplace Bullying and Workplace Politics for more related articles.
Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout
Coming July 3: Additive bias…or Not: II
- Additive bias is a cognitive bias that many believe contributes to bloat of commercial products. When we change products to make them more capable, additive bias might not play a role, because economic considerations sometimes favor additive approaches. Available here and by RSS on July 3.
And on July 10: On Delegating Accountability: I
- As the saying goes, "You can't delegate your own accountability." Despite wide knowledge of this aphorism, people try it from time to time, especially when overcome by the temptation of a high-risk decision. What can you delegate, and how can you do it? Available here and by RSS on July 10.
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Beware any resource that speaks of "winning" at workplace politics or "defeating" it. You can benefit or not, but there is no score-keeping, and it isn't a game.
- Wikipedia has a nice article with a list of additional resources
- Some public libraries offer collections. Here's an example from Saskatoon.
- Check my own links collection
- LinkedIn's Office Politics discussion group