You Can't Control What Other People Think

Maybe you've never thought this, but many people have: "The World would be a better place if only people would think like I do." Rarely is this a useful thought. You can influence others, once in a while, maybe. But you can't control what other people think. The evidence is overwhelming.

In a world where people can control what other people think:

• …there will be only one brand of toothpaste, and we'll all like it
• …meetings will be much shorter because we'll always agree about everything and we'll all arrive on time
• …there will be no divorce lawyers, because there will be no divorces
• …there will be a broccoli shortage because the broccoli people will figure out how to make everyone like it
• …there will be no need for war, bullies, editorials, elections, cosmetics, or advertising. Hmmm. Sounds pretty good.
• …we'll be able to control what we ourselves think (I don't know about you, but I can't do that now)
• …we won't lose as many arguments because everyone will have the same opinion
• …we won't have to dress to impress anyone else, because we'll figure out other ways to impress them that don't involve dry cleaning
• …there will be no salespeople because everyone with something to sell will know how to make us want it
• …we won't have to say You can't control what other
  people think. The evidence
  is overwhelming.no to anyone because we'll know how to force them to withdraw their requests or not make them in the first place
• …we'll be able to trust everyone
• …our supervisors will love everything we do
• …the people we supervise will love doing whatever we ask them to do
• …all projects will have the resources and time their people think they need (but they will still be wrong by 100%)
• …cable news programs will still be bad, but instead of their guests yelling at each other, they will all agree with each other
• …children will rule the world
• …no, never mind, dogs will rule the world
• …lying will actually work
• …performance reviews will all be "exceeds expectations"
• …raises will still be low, but we'll think they're fine
• …employers won't provide paid vacation time, because we'll all be perfectly happy working 52 weeks
• …everyone will be patriotic in ways we approve of
• …there will be no new ideas because everyone will think, "Hey, I thought of that, too"
• …we'll all be wrong at exactly the same time, in exactly the same way
• …there will be only one country
• …people will probably still argue about religion (some things never change)

So, are you convinced that you can't control what other people think? No? Well, I can't control what you think.  Top    Next Issue

Is every other day a tense, anxious, angry misery as you watch people around you, who couldn't even think their way through a game of Jacks, win at workplace politics and steal the credit and glory for just about everyone's best work including yours? Read 303 Secrets of Workplace Politics, filled with tips and techniques for succeeding in workplace politics. More info

Your comments are welcome

About Point Lookout

Thank you for reading this article. I hope you enjoyed it and found it useful, and that you'll consider recommending it to a friend.

This article in its entirety was written by a human being. No machine intelligence was involved in any way.

Point Lookout is a free weekly email newsletter. Browse the archive of past issues. Subscribe for free.

Support Point Lookout by joining the Friends of Point Lookout, as an individual or as an organization.

Do you face a complex interpersonal situation? Send it in, anonymously if you like, and I'll give you my two cents.

Related articles

More articles on Workplace Politics:

Managing Pressure: Communications and Expectations

Pressed repeatedly for "status" reports, you might guess that they don't want status — they want progress. Things can get so nutty that responding to the status requests gets in the way of doing the job. How does this happen and what can you do about it? Here's Part I of a little catalog of tactics and strategies for dealing with pressure.

Why Others Do What They Do

If you're human, you make mistakes. A particularly expensive kind of mistake is guessing incorrectly why others do what they do. Here are some of the ways we get this wrong.

Impasses in Group Decision Making: III

In group decision making, impasses can develop. Some are related to the substance of the issue at hand. With some effort, we can usually resolve substantive impasses. But treating nonsubstantive impasses in the same way doesn't work. Here's why.

Judging Others

Being "judgmental" is a stance most people recognize as transgressing beyond widely accepted social norms. But what's the harm in judging others? And why do so many people do it so often?

Way Over Their Heads

For organizations in crisis, some but not all their people understand the situation. Toxic conflict can erupt between those who grasp the problem's severity and those who don't. Trying to resolve the conflict by educating one's opponents rarely works. There are alternatives.

See also Workplace Politics for more related articles.

Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout

Coming September 24: Time Is Not a Resource

In the project management community, it's often said that time is the most precious resource. Although time is indeed precious, to regard it as a resource — like finance, equipment, or people — can be a dangerous mistake. Time is not a resource. Available here and by RSS on September 24.

And on October 1: On the Risks of Obscuring Ignorance

A common dilemma in knowledge-based organizations: ask for an explanation, or "fake it" until you can somehow figure it out. The choice between admitting your own ignorance or obscuring it can be a difficult one. It has consequences for both the choice-maker and the organization. Available here and by RSS on October 1.

Coaching services

I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact Rick for details at rbrenaXXxGCwVgbgLZDuRner@ChacDjdMAATPdDNJnrSwoCanyon.com or (650) 787-6475, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.

Get the ebook!

Past issues of Point Lookout are available in six ebooks:

• Get 2001-2 in Geese Don't Land on Twigs (PDF, )
• Get 2003-4 in Why Dogs Wag (PDF, )
• Get 2005-6 in Loopy Things We Do (PDF, )
• Get 2007-8 in Things We Believe That Maybe Aren't So True (PDF, )
• Get 2009-10 in The Questions Not Asked (PDF, )
• Get all of the first twelve years (2001-2012) in The Collected Issues of Point Lookout (PDF, )

Are you a writer, editor or publisher on deadline? Are you looking for an article that will get people talking and get compliments flying your way? You can have 500-1000 words in your inbox in one hour. License any article from this Web site. More info