Meeting Bullies: Advice for Chairs

Workplace bullying in meetings is expensive, not least because it degrades the quality of the work performed in meetings. If allowed to persist, those who are targeted tend to shut down, depriving the meeting of their contributions. Moreover, once the bully has established dominance, solving the problem becomes more difficult. That's why bullying must be dealt with immediately.

Let's begin by defining workplace bullying. Definitions vary — here's mine:

Workplace bullying is any aggressive behavior, associated with work, and primarily intended to cause physical or psychological harm to others.

Although workplace bullying is usually cloaked in business purposes, the bully's primary intention is inflicting physical or psychological harm to consolidate power.

In all cases, the chair is responsible for ending the bullying. Let's consider the least complex case first: neither the bully nor the target is the chair. In this case, the chair can demand a change in behavior.

Here are six suggestions for chairs who observe bullying taking place. They follow a simple pattern: Prepare, Intervene, and finally, Escalate.

Publish behavioral norms

Publish behavioral norms — ten or a dozen at most — before taking any other action. Examples: Be respectful, don't raise your voice, don't interrupt, wait for recognition by the chair, and so on. Incorporate in this list any relevant items from the company code of conduct.

Document what's been happening

Prepare documentation that specifies for each bullying incident the date and time, the target's name, the bully's name, the behavior itself, and what you did about it. The audience for this document is the bully's supervisor, your supervisor, and possibly a Human Resources representative.

Seize the floor

As chair, when you notice bullying behavior, seize the floor. Typically, some behavioral norm has been violated. Caution the offender. For example, "George, let's be more respectful. You may continue if you agree to be more respectful. Otherwise I'll give the floor to someone else."

Speak to the bully privately

Speaking to the bully privately deprives the bully of an audience. Explain that you regard the bully's behavior as bullying, that it must stop immediately, and that you'll take further action if it continues, but don't specify what action you'll take.

Speak to the bully's supervisor

If the bullying persists, speak to the bully's supervisor. Ask the supervisor to let you know when corrective action has been taken.

Speak to your own supervisor privately

If the Speaking to the bully
privately deprives the
bully of an audiencebully's supervisor doesn't act promptly and effectively, seek advice from your own supervisor. Perhaps your supervisor and the bully's supervisor can resolve the issue together.

If these actions fail, the problem belongs to HR, since neither you, nor the bully's supervisor, nor your own supervisor has acted effectively to end the bullying. Present your documentation to a Human Resources representative, and ask for advice about what further action might be required of you.

Next time we'll explore what can be done when the chair is the bully.   Next issue in this series   Top    Next Issue

Is a workplace bully targeting you? Do you know what to do to end the bullying? Workplace bullying is so widespread that a 2014 survey indicated that 27% of American workers have experienced bullying firsthand, that 21% have witnessed it, and that 72% are aware that bullying happens. Yet, there are few laws to protect workers from bullies, and bullying is not a crime in most jurisdictions. 101 Tips for Targets of Workplace Bullies is filled with the insights targets of bullying need to find a way to survive, and then to finally end the bullying. Also available at Apple's iTunes store! Just . Order Now!

Your comments are welcome

About Point Lookout

Thank you for reading this article. I hope you enjoyed it and found it useful, and that you'll consider recommending it to a friend.

This article in its entirety was written by a human being. No machine intelligence was involved in any way.

Point Lookout is a free weekly email newsletter. Browse the archive of past issues. Subscribe for free.

Support Point Lookout by joining the Friends of Point Lookout, as an individual or as an organization.

Do you face a complex interpersonal situation? Send it in, anonymously if you like, and I'll give you my two cents.

Related articles

More articles on Workplace Bullying:

Hurtful Clichés: I

Much of our day-to-day conversation consists of harmless clichés: "How goes it?" or "Nice to meet you." Some other clichés aren't harmless, but they're so common that we use them without thinking. Maybe it's time for some thought.

What Is Workplace Bullying?

We're gradually becoming aware that workplace bullying is a significant deviant pattern in workplace relationships. To deal effectively with it, we must know how to recognize it. Here's a start.

Even "Isolated Incidents" Can Be Bullying

Many organizations have anti-bullying policies that address only repeated patterns of interpersonal aggression. Such definitions expose the organization and its people to the harmful effects of "isolated incidents" of interpersonal aggression, because even isolated incidents can be bullying.

On Gratuitous Harshness

Rejecting with gratuitous harshness the contributions of others can be an expensive pattern to tolerate — or to indulge. Understanding how the costs arise and what factors exacerbate them is the first step to controlling the pattern.

Gaslighting Project Teams

To gaslight people is to convince them to reject their own observations and believe what you want them to believe. Gaslighting corrupts project management as surely as it destroys romantic relationships. Here are some early indicators of gaslighting.

See also Workplace Bullying and Workplace Bullying for more related articles.

Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout

Coming May 14: Working with the Overconfident

A cognitive bias known as the Overconfidence Effect causes us to overestimate the reliability of our judgments. Decisions we make based on those judgments are therefore suspect. But there are steps we can take to make our confidence levels more realistic, and thus make our decisions more reliable. Available here and by RSS on May 14.

And on May 21: Mismanaging Project Managers

Most organizations hold project managers accountable for project performance. But they don't grant those project managers control of needed resources. Nor do they hold project sponsors or other senior managers accountable for the consequences of their actions when they interfere with project work. Here's a catalog of behaviors worth looking at. Available here and by RSS on May 21.

Coaching services

I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact Rick for details at rbrenDJpmhgyaDTwBQXkhner@ChacmGoYuzfZpOvDQdRkoCanyon.com or (650) 787-6475, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.

Get the ebook!

Past issues of Point Lookout are available in six ebooks:

• Get 2001-2 in Geese Don't Land on Twigs (PDF, )
• Get 2003-4 in Why Dogs Wag (PDF, )
• Get 2005-6 in Loopy Things We Do (PDF, )
• Get 2007-8 in Things We Believe That Maybe Aren't So True (PDF, )
• Get 2009-10 in The Questions Not Asked (PDF, )
• Get all of the first twelve years (2001-2012) in The Collected Issues of Point Lookout (PDF, )

Are you a writer, editor or publisher on deadline? Are you looking for an article that will get people talking and get compliments flying your way? You can have 500-1000 words in your inbox in one hour. License any article from this Web site. More info