On Beginnings

It's early winter in Boston, the very beginning of the year, and I set out before dawn for my morning circuit of the Charles River's lower basin. The city is waking, preparing for the coming day, but the basin is still quiet.

Normally, I don't see the dawn, but I'm a little earlier than usual, and at this time of year, the sunrise is as late as it gets. As I come around the turn in the path below the Longfellow Bridge, I see a pink tinge in the clouds to my left. I realize that on this morning the view of the sunrise from the Cambridge bank will be striking. So I decide to follow my usual path, but in the opposite of my usual direction.

I cross the Longfellow Bridge, walking backwards much of the way, to face the sunrise. The sky in the East brightens steadily, and the clouds change from pink to red to a glorious orange. Walking upstream on the Cambridge side, I notice sunlight in the treetops, gradually working its way down to ground level. And then the sun falls directly on me. The beginning of the new day.

Beginnings can be filled with possibility — inspiring and exciting. And then letdown can follow, when our aspirations don't come to pass, or when we encounter obstacles that trip us up in frustratingly familiar ways.

Here are some tips for handling beginnings.

You can't change the past

At least one element from the past is always with us — ourselves. Life is repertoire — new efforts often involve many of the same people, who bring with them not only their experiences, but also the problems of the past. Fresh starts usually aren't really fresh.

See things as they really are

Beginnings can be filled
with possibility —
inspiring and exciting

Events, like sunrises or new years, can seem more significant than they really are. When the sun rose over the Charles, the world didn't change — the city's birds kept singing and the river's waves kept waving. The flow of events is often more continuous than we recognize.

Seek inspiration in the real

When a transition of true significance arrives, it might not be marked by dramatic shifts in Nature, or astronomy, or the calendar. When we depend on the newness of the effort, or a new year, or a sunrise, to indicate significant transitions, we might let other important transitions pass unnoticed. Find inspiration in what's really happening, where the opportunity really lies.

Focus on the truly new

What is new is the chance to try again, this time with a memory of past experience. Maybe we've learned something. Maybe we can make different choices this time.

Helen Keller once said that when one door closes, another opens. But sometimes doors open all by themselves, often without our noticing them. Is a door opening for you? When did you last check?  Top    Next Issue

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And on October 11: Self-Importance and Conversational Narcissism at Work: II

Self-importance is one of four major themes of conversational narcissism. Knowing how to recognize the patterns of conversational narcissism is a fundamental skill needed for controlling it. Here are eight examples that emphasize self-importance. Available here and by RSS on October 11.

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