When You Aren't Supposed to Say: III

When we aren't supposed to disclose things we know, and when that information is sensitive, we might encounter people who try to extract it. This is Part III of a little catalog of methods they use. See "When You Aren't Supposed to Say: I," Point Lookout for March 29, 2006, for methods based on special resources, and "When You Aren't Supposed to Say: II," Point Lookout for April 5, 2006, for methods that use misdirection.

To decide whether or not to disclose something to someone, we must determine whether such disclosure is appropriate. Making that judgment requires critical thinking — the ability to reason, to think clearly, and to form valid conclusions or make sound judgments. Here are some methods for eliciting information that rely on suspending the target's ability to think critically.

Shaking the tree

By creating in the target a state of emotional upset, seekers hope to generate out-of-control behavior just to see what falls out. Emotional states that are especially fruitful are anger, fear, and romantic rejection.

Good cop, bad cop

In this method, two seekers pursue the target. One uses pressure and fear, while the other uses a kinder and gentler approach. This method still works, despite its being a well known (and overused) plot device in fiction, film, and television.

Gift-wrapping

Some questions come gift-wrapped: "Let me ask you…," or "Can I get some information about…," or "I'd like to learn about…," or "Let me pick your brain about…," or "You're an expert on X, can you tell me about…" The wrapping is intended to trigger a desire to cooperate.

Immersion

By interfering with
our ability to think
critically, seekers of
information can
sometimes get
what they want

When we're in contact with someone over a long period of time, as on an extended business trip, we tend to become less guarded. Be alert to probing questions that seem unrelated to the tasks at hand. Limit conversation when you're fatigued or stressed.

Authority or command

Sometimes used by those with organizational power, these methods are also available to certification, legal, and enforcement authorities. An example of the latter, from The Firm, by John Grisham (Order from Amazon.com), is "Wayne Tarrance," played by Ed Harris in the film directed by Sydney Pollack (Order from Amazon.com).

Blackmail, bribery, and extortion

Targets of blackmail, bribery, or extortion can experience feelings of extreme helplessness. These methods are favorites of the Firm's enforcer, "Bill DeVasher," played by Wilford Brimley in the film.

Substances and wining-and-dining

Seekers might use alcohol, food, or other substances in what seems to be a social context. In The Firm, "Avery Tolar" (played by Gene Hackman in the film), uses these methods to make "Mitch McDeere" (played by Tom Cruise) vulnerable to the setup involving the prostitute on the beach.

Over the next month, notice these techniques in use at work. You might spot them more easily when they're used on others. Once you become aware of these methods, you'll be less likely to reveal what you ought not.  Top    Next Issue

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Related articles

More articles on Effective Communication at Work:

When You Aren't Supposed to Say: I

Most of us have information that's "company confidential," or possibly even more sensitive than that. When we encounter individuals who try to extract that information, we're better able to protect it if we know their techniques.

Deliver the Headline First

When we deliver news at work — status, events, personnel changes, whatever — we sometimes frame it in a story line format. We start at the beginning and we gradually work up to the point. That might be the right way to deliver good news, but for everything else, especially bad news, deliver the headline first, and then offer the details.

Virtual Presentations

Modern team efforts almost certainly involve teleconferences, and many teleconferences include presentations, often augmented with video or graphics. Delivering these virtual presentations effectively requires an approach tailored to the medium.

When the Answer Isn't the Point: II

Sometimes, when we ask questions, we're more interested in eliciting behavior from the person questioned, rather than answers. Here's Part II of a set of techniques questioners use when the answer to the question wasn't the point of asking.

Mastering Messaging for Pandemics: I

When a pandemic rages, face-to-face meetings are largely curtailed. Clarity in text messaging and email communication becomes more important than usual. Citing dates and times unambiguously requires a more rigorous approach than many are accustomed to.

See also Effective Communication at Work and Ethics at Work for more related articles.

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And on April 28: The Self-Explanation Effect

In the learning context, self-explanation is the act of explaining to oneself what one is learning. Self-explanation has been shown to increase the rate of acquiring mastery. The mystery is why we don't structure knowledge work to exploit this phenomenon. Available here and by RSS on April 28.

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