Assumptions and the Johari Window: II

When we disagree, the sources of our disagreement can often be differing assumptions that are outside our mutual awareness. Working out these differences is a lot easier when we know what they are, but sometimes surfacing the assumptions can be risky. Here's part two of a method based on the Johari window. See "Assumptions and the Johari Window: I," Point Lookout for September 27, 2006, for Part I, where we discussed Open and Blind assumptions. The last two quadrants of the Johari Window are Hidden and Unknown.

My hidden assumptions

Hidden assumptions are those that I know I'm making, but you don't. For instance, I might believe that you'll benefit from a particular organizational decision, and that's why you're advocating for that decision. Even though I might be mistaken, I might still make the assumption — and conceal it.

Sometimes exposing a hidden assumption is easy, and exposure can lead to relief in the group, as when the assumer doesn't realize that nobody else knows about the assumption.

And sometimes exposing hidden assumptions is difficult, because the assumer might actively hide them. When asked, the assumer might actually deny hiding anything. Even upon admitting making the assumption, assumers can feel "caught," and might experience guilt or shame. Defensiveness can follow.

One approach to resolution is to first ensure safety, and then search for hidden assumptions by simply asking for disclosure. Often this exposes the accidentally hidden assumptions with relatively low risk.

Use the same method for intentionally hidden assumptions, but wait until the second or third pass, after people are more comfortable with the process, and after you've built some success with the easier types of out-of-awareness assumptions.

My unknown assumptions

Unknown assumptions Tackle the more challenging kinds
of assumptions after you've
built some success
with the easier onesare those that I don't know I'm making, and you don't know about them either. Such assumptions are like land mines whose locations are long forgotten. They're the most difficult to surface, because we're both unaware they exist. And when we do find one, the discovery can trigger strong feelings for us both.

Joint exploration for unknown assumptions can be risky, because either or both of the explorers can be caught making assumptions they don't know about. The surprise itself can be unsettling. To ease the surprise, save this pane of the Johari window for last, when experience with uncovering assumptions in the other panes can be a resource for both parties. And be sure that everyone is rested — take breaks, or split the session if necessary.

In any impasse, it's likely that there are assumptions of all four kinds — Open, Blind, Hidden, and Unknown. When the assumption that there are assumptions of all four kinds is itself Blind, Hidden, or Unknown, the chances of resolving the others are small. Talking about the possibility of Open, Blind, or Unknown assumptions eases the task of resolving them together. First in this series   Top    Next Issue

Are you fed up with tense, explosive meetings? Are you or a colleague the target of a bully? Destructive conflict can ruin organizations. But if we believe that all conflict is destructive, and that we can somehow eliminate conflict, or that conflict is an enemy of productivity, then we're in conflict with Conflict itself. Read 101 Tips for Managing Conflict to learn how to make peace with conflict and make it an organizational asset. Order Now!

Your comments are welcome

About Point Lookout

Thank you for reading this article. I hope you enjoyed it and found it useful, and that you'll consider recommending it to a friend.

Point Lookout is a free weekly email newsletter. Browse the archive of past issues. Subscribe for free.

Support Point Lookout by joining the Friends of Point Lookout, as an individual or as an organization.

Do you face a complex interpersonal situation? Send it in, anonymously if you like, and I'll give you my two cents.

Related articles

More articles on Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness:

Own Your Space

Since we spend so much of our waking lives in our offices, it's surprising how few of us take control of our immediate surroundings. If you do — if you make your space uniquely yours — you'll feel better about the time you spend at work.

If Only I Had Known: II

Ever had one of those forehead-slapping moments when someone explained something, or you suddenly realized something? They usually involve some idea or insight that would have saved you much pain, trouble, and heartache, if only you had known.

Finding Work in Tough Times: Marketing

We aren't accustomed to thinking of finding work in tough times as a marketing problem, but it helps. Here are some suggestions for applying marketing principles to finding work in tough times.

Managing Hindsight Bias Risk

Performance appraisal practices and project retrospectives both rely on evaluating performance after outcomes are known. Unfortunately, a well-known bias — hindsight bias — can limit the effectiveness of many organizational processes, including both performance appraisal and project retrospectives.

Disjoint Awareness: Assessment

When collaborators misunderstand each other's work and intentions, they're at risk of inadvertently interfering with each other. Three causes of misunderstandings are complexity, specialization, and rapid change.

See also Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness, Problem Solving and Creativity and Conflict Management for more related articles.

Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout

Coming July 28: Be Choosier About Job Offers: II

An unfortunate outcome of job searches occurs when a job seeker feels forced to accept an offer that isn't a good fit. Sometimes financial pressures are so severe that the seeker has little choice. But financial pressures are partly perceptual. Here's how to manage feeling that pressure. Available here and by RSS on July 28.

And on August 4: What Are the Chances: I

When estimating the probabilities of success of different strategies, we must often estimate the probability of multiple events occurring. People make a common mistake when forming such estimates. They assume that events are independent when they are not. Available here and by RSS on August 4.

Coaching services

I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact Rick for details at rbrenXEiRBfuFHUtjHrqUner@ChacpYPvvSVhUNIOeXHKoCanyon.com or (650) 787-6475, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.

Get the ebook!

Past issues of Point Lookout are available in six ebooks:

• Get 2001-2 in Geese Don't Land on Twigs (PDF, )
• Get 2003-4 in Why Dogs Wag (PDF, )
• Get 2005-6 in Loopy Things We Do (PDF, )
• Get 2007-8 in Things We Believe That Maybe Aren't So True (PDF, )
• Get 2009-10 in The Questions Not Asked (PDF, )
• Get all of the first twelve years (2001-2012) in The Collected Issues of Point Lookout (PDF, )

Are you a writer, editor or publisher on deadline? Are you looking for an article that will get people talking and get compliments flying your way? You can have 500-1000 words in your inbox in one hour. License any article from this Web site. More info

Public seminars

The Power Affect: How We Express Our Personal Power

Many people who possess real organizational power have a characteristic demeanor. It's the way they project their presence. I call this the power affect. Some people — call them power pretenders — adopt the power affect well before they attain significant organizational power. Unfortunately for their colleagues, and for their organizations, power pretenders can attain organizational power out of proportion to their merit or abilities. Understanding the power affect is therefore important for anyone who aims to attain power, or anyone who works with power pretenders. Read more about this program.

• A recording of a program presented June 29, 2017, Monthly Webinar, sponsored by Technobility Webinar Series. PMI members can earn 1.0 Category 'A' PDU by viewing this program. View this program now.
   
• A recording of a program presented June 29, 2017, Monthly Webinar, sponsored by Technobility Webinar Series. PMI members can earn 1.0 Category 'A' PDU by viewing this program. View this program now.
   

Bullet Points: Mastery or Madness?

Decision makers in modern organizations commonly demand briefings in the form of bullet points or a series of series of bullet points. But this form of presentation has limited value for complex decisions. We need something more. We actually need to think. Briefers who combine the bullet-point format with a variety of persuasion techniques can mislead decision makers, guiding them into making poor decisions. Read more about this program.

• A recording of a program presented June 24, 2020, Monthly Webinar, sponsored by Technobility Webinar Series. PMI members can earn 1.0 Category 'A' PDU by viewing this program. View this program now.
   
• A recording of a program presented June 24, 2020, Monthly Webinar, sponsored by Technobility Webinar Series. PMI members can earn 1.0 Category 'A' PDU by viewing this program. View this program now.