The causes of animosity between two people might be outside the awareness of bystanders, or even outside the awareness of either party or both. But animosity usually has roots somewhere. One common explanation for animosity between two people — overused, I believe — is a "personality clash."
But animosity can arise from other sources. For example, it can be structural, arising when the people involved represent groups that are in a state of toxic conflict. And animosity can be a tactic — created by one or both parties, who might use animosity to achieve an undisclosed goal.
When animosity is a tactic, addressing it as anything else probably won't work. Here's a little catalog of animosity patterns I've seen people use. It might help you recognize when animosity is a tactic.
- The indirect target
- Sometimes the actual target of the operator isn't obvious. For example, if the actual target is a team lead, and the operator hopes to displace the team lead, the operator might target someone else to create dissension, providing evidence that the team lead is ineffective. This tactic works better when the dissension created doesn't involve the team lead directly.
- Feet of clay
- Disrupting a team's social structure can be one route to becoming a dominant figure on a team. The disrupter gradually antagonizes the current dominant figure, intending to force what appear to be unforced errors. Flustered, dominant figures under such attack might commit blunders serious enough to compromise their positions, and the displacement is then complete. This approach is more effective when the current dominant figure champions noble, higher ideals.
- Some believe that all their relationships must be pleasant and cheerful. Their willingness to bend is what many would term "beyond reasonable" or even "self-destructive." They're easy targets for those who use animosity as a tactic. By creating tension in the relationship, the operator can use it for all manner of workplace favors, such as freeing up assignments or obtaining political support for their endeavors.
- Discrediting the competition
- Some operators When animosity is a tactic,
addressing it as anything
else probably won't workuse animosity to discredit potential competitors. By creating difficulty between the competitor and those around him or her, they create the impression that the competitor is difficult to work with. This approach is more effective if the operator is especially productive and ingratiating to the shared superior. In some cases, the operator actually becomes the superior's close confidant.
One more pattern of animosity is particularly troubling. It could be called "Just for kicks." There are those who derive satisfaction or comfort from animosity in the atmosphere. Perhaps they're unaware of what they're doing, but that matters little to those around them. If you find someone like this in your world, it's probably best to show him or her the way out, or find a way out for yourself. Top Next Issue
Are you fed up with tense, explosive meetings? Are you or a colleague the target of a bully? Destructive conflict can ruin organizations. But if we believe that all conflict is destructive, and that we can somehow eliminate conflict, or that conflict is an enemy of productivity, then we're in conflict with Conflict itself. Read 101 Tips for Managing Conflict to learn how to make peace with conflict and make it an organizational asset. Order Now!
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More articles on Conflict Management:
- Changing the Subject: II
- Sometimes, in conversation, we must change the subject, but we also do it to dominate, manipulate, or
assert power. Subject changing — and controlling its use — can be important political skills.
- Communication Templates: II
- Communication templates are patterns that are so widely used that once identified, nearly everyone recognizes
them. In this Part II we consider some of the more toxic — less innocuous — communication
- How to Avoid Responsibility
- Taking responsibility and a willingness to be held accountable are the hallmarks of either a rising
star in a high-performance organization, or a naïve fool in a low-performance organization. Either
way, you must know the more popular techniques for avoiding responsibility.
- How to Create Distrust
- A trusting environment is critical to high performance. That's why it's important to recognize behaviors
that erode trust in others. Here's a little catalog of methods people use — intentionally or not
— to create distrust.
- Directed Attention Fatigue
- Humans have a limited capacity to concentrate attention on thought-intensive tasks. After a time, we
must rest and renew. Most brainwork jobs aren't designed with this in mind.
Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout
- Coming July 8: Multi-Expert Consensus
- Some working groups consist of experts from many fields. When they must reach a decision by consensus, members have several options. Defining those options in advance can help the group reach a decision with all its relationships intact. Available here and by RSS on July 8.
- And on July 15: Disjoint Concept Vocabularies
- In disputes or in problem solving sessions, when we can't seem to come to agreement, we often attribute the difficulty to miscommunication, histories of disagreements, hidden agendas, or "personality clashes." Sometimes the cause is much simpler. Sometimes the concept vocabularies of the parties don't overlap. Available here and by RSS on July 15.
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Many people who possess real organizational power have a characteristic demeanor. It's the way they project their presence. I call this the power affect. Some people — call them power pretenders — adopt the power affect well before they attain significant organizational power. Unfortunately for their colleagues, and for their organizations, power pretenders can attain organizational power out of proportion to their merit or abilities. Understanding the power affect is therefore important for anyone who aims to attain power, or anyone who works with power pretenders. Read more about this program.
- Bullet Points: Mastery or Madness?
Decision-makers in modern organizations commonly demand briefings in the form of bullet points or a series of series of bullet points. But this form of presentation has limited value for complex decisions. We need something more. We actually need to think. Briefers who combine the bullet-point format with a variety of persuasion techniques can mislead decision-makers, guiding them into making poor decisions. Read more about this program.