Be With the Real

For many, this time of year is one when we're especially vulnerable to being caught up in the unimportant details of Life. We can become so involved with the trivial that we become unaware of the important. By "involved with the trivial," I mean, for example, fretting about not having been invited to the right parties, or being obsessed with finding the perfect decoration for your door.

In themselves, these fascinations do no real harm, but they can prevent us from appreciating what we do have — the parties we did attend, or the less-than-perfect but still beautiful door decoration we did find. Even so, involvement with the trivial can limit our ability to attend to the more important parts of Life — a perfect evening, an enjoyable time with friends or family, or even the sense of well being that comes from being healthy, from being alive, or from giving.

Here are some suggestions that can help to bring you back from involvement with the trivial, to help you be with the real.

Listen to your breathing

To be with the real, start with yourself. Our breathing is easy to notice, yet we rarely do notice it. Try controlling it. Long and slow, short and quick. Deep or shallow. Be with your breathing.

Feel your own heart

If you can find a still, quiet place, notice your heartbeat. If you press the heel of your hand up against one ear, you can feel and hear your pulse. You truly are alive.

Seek Nature's sounds

Even in a This time of year is one when
we're especially vulnerable
to being caught up
in the unimportantcity, you can hear Nature above the din. Birds are everywhere. The wind rustles leaves or whistles over bare branches. But for a stronger connection, seek a place away from human sounds. Listen to the music of life on Earth.

Sit on the ground

Sit, but not on anything made by a human. Grass or a rock or log if that's more comfortable. How does it feel to let Earth support you for a time?

Touch the sky

Well, you can't touch the sky physically, but you can notice it. Notice clouds or sun or stars or moon. Did you know the phase of the moon before you looked?

Make contact with someone

Make contact. Reach out with a smile, or a tweet, or a hello, or a witty remark. Is the effect stronger when the other person is someone you've never met? Or is it stronger when you make contact with someone close to you? Can you make contact with a group?

Most important, make contact with Now. Often we lose touch with what's happening right now because of a preoccupation with what was, what has been, or what is about to be. Make contact with Now. Know where you are. Know who you're with. Be with the Real.  Top    Next Issue

Love the work but not the job? Bad boss, long commute, troubling ethical questions, hateful colleague? This ebook looks at what we can do to get more out of life at work. It helps you get moving again! Read Go For It! Sometimes It's Easier If You Run, filled with tips and techniques for putting zing into your work life. Order Now!

Your comments are welcome

About Point Lookout

Thank you for reading this article. I hope you enjoyed it and found it useful, and that you'll consider recommending it to a friend.

This article in its entirety was written by a human being. No machine intelligence was involved in any way.

Point Lookout is a free weekly email newsletter. Browse the archive of past issues. Subscribe for free.

Support Point Lookout by joining the Friends of Point Lookout, as an individual or as an organization.

Do you face a complex interpersonal situation? Send it in, anonymously if you like, and I'll give you my two cents.

Related articles

More articles on Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness:

Working Lunches

To save time, or to find a time everyone has free, we sometimes meet during lunch. It seems like a good idea, but there are some hidden costs.

Untangling Tangled Threads

In energetic discussions, topics and subtopics get intertwined. The tangles can be frustrating. Here's a collection of techniques for minimizing tangles in complex discussions.

Communication Refactoring in Organizations

Inadequate communication between units of large organizations is one factor that maintains the dysfunction of "silo" structures in large organizations, limiting their ability to act coherently. Communication refactoring can help large organizations to see themselves as wholes.

Preventing Sidebars

Sidebar conversations between meeting participants waste time and reduce meeting effectiveness. How can we prevent them?

Anticipating Absence: Quarantine and Isolation

When the pandemic compels some knowledge workers to quarantine or isolate, we tend to treat them as if they were totally unavailable. But if they're willing and able to work, even part-time, they might be able to continue to contribute. To make this happen, work out conditions in advance.

See also Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness for more related articles.

Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout

Coming June 25: Meandering Monologues in Meetings: Engagement

In a meeting, a meandering monologue has taken over when someone speaks at length with no sign of coming to a clear point, and little of evident value. This behavior reduces engagement on the part of other attendees, thereby limiting the meeting's value to the organization. Available here and by RSS on June 25.

And on July 2: The True Costs of Contractors

Among the more commonly cited reasons for hiring contractors instead of direct employees is cost savings. But are these savings real? Direct compensation, including perks and benefits, might favor the contractor arrangement, but indirect costs tell another story. Available here and by RSS on July 2.

Coaching services

I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact Rick for details at rbrenaXXxGCwVgbgLZDuRner@ChacDjdMAATPdDNJnrSwoCanyon.com or (650) 787-6475, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.

Get the ebook!

Past issues of Point Lookout are available in six ebooks:

• Get 2001-2 in Geese Don't Land on Twigs (PDF, )
• Get 2003-4 in Why Dogs Wag (PDF, )
• Get 2005-6 in Loopy Things We Do (PDF, )
• Get 2007-8 in Things We Believe That Maybe Aren't So True (PDF, )
• Get 2009-10 in The Questions Not Asked (PDF, )
• Get all of the first twelve years (2001-2012) in The Collected Issues of Point Lookout (PDF, )

Are you a writer, editor or publisher on deadline? Are you looking for an article that will get people talking and get compliments flying your way? You can have 500-1000 words in your inbox in one hour. License any article from this Web site. More info