Be With the Real

For many, this time of year is one when we're especially vulnerable to being caught up in the unimportant details of Life. We can become so involved with the trivial that we become unaware of the important. By "involved with the trivial," I mean, for example, fretting about not having been invited to the right parties, or being obsessed with finding the perfect decoration for your door.

In themselves, these fascinations do no real harm, but they can prevent us from appreciating what we do have — the parties we did attend, or the less-than-perfect but still beautiful door decoration we did find. Even so, involvement with the trivial can limit our ability to attend to the more important parts of Life — a perfect evening, an enjoyable time with friends or family, or even the sense of well being that comes from being healthy, from being alive, or from giving.

Here are some suggestions that can help to bring you back from involvement with the trivial, to help you be with the real.

Listen to your breathing

To be with the real, start with yourself. Our breathing is easy to notice, yet we rarely do notice it. Try controlling it. Long and slow, short and quick. Deep or shallow. Be with your breathing.

Feel your own heart

If you can find a still, quiet place, notice your heartbeat. If you press the heel of your hand up against one ear, you can feel and hear your pulse. You truly are alive.

Seek Nature's sounds

Even in a This time of year is one when
we're especially vulnerable
to being caught up
in the unimportantcity, you can hear Nature above the din. Birds are everywhere. The wind rustles leaves or whistles over bare branches. But for a stronger connection, seek a place away from human sounds. Listen to the music of life on Earth.

Sit on the ground

Sit, but not on anything made by a human. Grass or a rock or log if that's more comfortable. How does it feel to let Earth support you for a time?

Touch the sky

Well, you can't touch the sky physically, but you can notice it. Notice clouds or sun or stars or moon. Did you know the phase of the moon before you looked?

Make contact with someone

Make contact. Reach out with a smile, or a tweet, or a hello, or a witty remark. Is the effect stronger when the other person is someone you've never met? Or is it stronger when you make contact with someone close to you? Can you make contact with a group?

Most important, make contact with Now. Often we lose touch with what's happening right now because of a preoccupation with what was, what has been, or what is about to be. Make contact with Now. Know where you are. Know who you're with. Be with the Real.  Top    Next Issue

Love the work but not the job? Bad boss, long commute, troubling ethical questions, hateful colleague? This ebook looks at what we can do to get more out of life at work. It helps you get moving again! Read Go For It! Sometimes It's Easier If You Run, filled with tips and techniques for putting zing into your work life. Order Now!

Your comments are welcome

About Point Lookout

Thank you for reading this article. I hope you enjoyed it and found it useful, and that you'll consider recommending it to a friend.

Point Lookout is a free weekly email newsletter. Browse the archive of past issues. Subscribe for free.

Support Point Lookout by joining the Friends of Point Lookout, as an individual or as an organization.

Do you face a complex interpersonal situation? Send it in, anonymously if you like, and I'll give you my two cents.

Related articles

More articles on Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness:

The Good, the Bad, and the Complicated

In fiction and movies, the world is often simple. There's a protagonist, a goal, and a series of obstacles. The protagonists and goals are good, and the obstacles are bad. Real life is more complicated.

Remote Facilitation in Synchronous Contexts: I

Whoever facilitates your distributed meetings — whether a dedicated facilitator or the meeting chair — will discover quickly that remote facilitation presents special problems. Here's a little catalog of those problems, and some suggestions for addressing them.

Creating Toxic Conflict: II

Some supervisors seem to behave as if part of their job description is creating toxic conflict among their subordinates. It isn't really, of course, but here's a collection of methods bad managers use that make trouble.

How to Waste Time in Meetings

Nearly everyone hates meetings. The main complaint: they're mostly a waste of time. The main cause: us. Here's a field manual for people who want to waste even more time.

Planning Disappointments

When we plan projects, we make estimates of total costs and expected delivery dates. Often these estimates are so wrong — in the wrong direction — that we might as well be planning disappointments. Why is this?

See also Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness and Emotions at Work for more related articles.

Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout

Coming September 30: Seven More Planning Pitfalls: II

Planning teams, like all teams, are susceptible to several patterns of interaction that can lead to counter-productive results. Three of these most relevant to planners are False Consensus, Groupthink, and Shared Information Bias. Available here and by RSS on September 30.

And on October 7: Seven More Planning Pitfalls: III

Planning teams, like all teams, are vulnerable to several patterns of interaction that can lead to counter-productive results. Two of these relevant to planners are a cognitive bias called the IKEA Effect, and a systemic bias against realistic estimates of cost and schedule. Available here and by RSS on October 7.

Coaching services

I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact Rick for details at rbrenmhXARWRMUvVyOdHlner@ChacxgDmtwOKrxnripPCoCanyon.com or (650) 787-6475, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.

Get the ebook!

Past issues of Point Lookout are available in six ebooks:

• Get 2001-2 in Geese Don't Land on Twigs (PDF, )
• Get 2003-4 in Why Dogs Wag (PDF, )
• Get 2005-6 in Loopy Things We Do (PDF, )
• Get 2007-8 in Things We Believe That Maybe Aren't So True (PDF, )
• Get 2009-10 in The Questions Not Asked (PDF, )
• Get all of the first twelve years (2001-2012) in The Collected Issues of Point Lookout (PDF, )

Are you a writer, editor or publisher on deadline? Are you looking for an article that will get people talking and get compliments flying your way? You can have 500 words in your inbox in one hour. License any article from this Web site. More info

Public seminars

The Power Affect: How We Express Our Personal Power

Many people who possess real organizational power have a characteristic demeanor. It's the way they project their presence. I call this the power affect. Some people — call them power pretenders — adopt the power affect well before they attain significant organizational power. Unfortunately for their colleagues, and for their organizations, power pretenders can attain organizational power out of proportion to their merit or abilities. Understanding the power affect is therefore important for anyone who aims to attain power, or anyone who works with power pretenders. Read more about this program.

• A recording of a program presented June 29, 2017, Monthly Webinar, sponsored by Technobility Webinar Series. PMI members can earn 1.0 Category 'A' PDU by viewing this program. View this program now.
   
• A recording of a program presented June 29, 2017, Monthly Webinar, sponsored by Technobility Webinar Series. PMI members can earn 1.0 Category 'A' PDU by viewing this program. View this program now.
   

Bullet Points: Mastery or Madness?

Decision-makers in modern organizations commonly demand briefings in the form of bullet points or a series of series of bullet points. But this form of presentation has limited value for complex decisions. We need something more. We actually need to think. Briefers who combine the bullet-point format with a variety of persuasion techniques can mislead decision-makers, guiding them into making poor decisions. Read more about this program.

• A recording of a program presented June 24, Monthly Webinar, sponsored by Technobility Webinar Series. PMI members can earn 1.0 Category 'A' PDU by viewing this program. View this program now.
   
• A recording of a program presented June 24, Monthly Webinar, sponsored by Technobility Webinar Series. PMI members can earn 1.0 Category 'A' PDU by viewing this program. View this program now.