Finding the Third Way

When a group reaches an impasse, two common configurations are the dead end and division. The dead end occurs when the current paradigm fails and there is no alternative. It's bad news, but at least the team is together (usually, that is).

In division, there are two or more contending alternatives, and the team is often polarized around these choices. People with a talent for finding the "third way" are valuable assets, because they can often find the key element that reunites the team and gets it moving forward again. One such person on a team is good; two are better. Even better than that: an entire team that understands the concept of the third way and works together to find agreement.

Here are some techniques for finding the third way.

Agree that agreement is needed

For a divided group, unanimity is achievable only after all agree that unity is desirable. Achieving agreement about agreement can enhance the likelihood of respectful exchange, and limit the chances of the current disagreement turning into toxic conflict.

Beware ideology

An ideology is a set of principles and ideals that form a comprehensive vision of the field in question. An ideology provides a complete framework for considering that field, reaching beyond any current concrete issues. That's why ideologies have difficulty with concepts that arise outside their scope. When a subgroup of a team forms around an ideology, that subgroup faces obstacles when working with other team members.

Replace ideologies with specifics

What makes People with a talent for finding
the "third way" are valuable
assets, because they can often
find the key element that reunites
the team and gets it moving
forward againideologies so exclusive of alternative views is their comprehensiveness. If one or more of the team's coalitions is united by an ideology, invite its members to replace the ideology with specific goals. Specific goals are preferable to ideologies because they aren't constrained by issues that aren't yet on the agenda.

Examine opposing ideas for commonalities

Gather whatever the opposing ideas do have in common, and use that as a fresh starting point. Set aside any elements about which there is polarized disagreement. What remains is probably an incomplete description of the way forward, but try to make it more complete by asking, "What can we add to this that will move us forward?" Add only those bits about which you can gain consensus.

Focus to expand existing coalitions

If the team is divided, work to reduce the number of factions and expand each coalition by narrowing its focus. For instance, given a collection of common ideas on which some team members agree, try jettisoning one of them experimentally, by asking, "What if…" If the result is still acceptable to that group, invite people not yet in agreement to examine the reduced list. Can they now agree to join?

If we can't agree that all these insights are helpful, maybe you've found that some of them are. Which ones?  Top    Next Issue

Are your projects always (or almost always) late and over budget? Are your project teams plagued by turnover, burnout, and high defect rates? Turn your culture around. Read 52 Tips for Leaders of Project-Oriented Organizations, filled with tips and techniques for organizational leaders. Order Now!

Your comments are welcome

About Point Lookout

Thank you for reading this article. I hope you enjoyed it and found it useful, and that you'll consider recommending it to a friend.

Point Lookout is a free weekly email newsletter. Browse the archive of past issues. Subscribe for free.

Support Point Lookout by joining the Friends of Point Lookout, as an individual or as an organization.

Do you face a complex interpersonal situation? Send it in, anonymously if you like, and I'll give you my two cents.

Related articles

More articles on Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness:

Status-Report as a Second Language

Sometimes, the clichés the losing team's players feed to sports reporters can have hidden meaning. So it is with Project Status Reports, especially for projects in trouble.

Seven Ways to Get Nowhere

Ever have the feeling that you're getting nowhere? You have the sense of movement, but you're making no real progress towards the goal. How does this happen? What can you do about it?

Why Sidebars Happen

Sidebar conversations between meeting participants, conducted while someone else has the floor, are a distracting form of disorder that can waste time and reduce meeting effectiveness. Why do sidebars happen?

Contextual Causes of Conflict: I

When destructive conflict erupts, we usually hold responsible only the people directly involved. But the choices of others, and general circumstances, can be the real causes of destructive conflict.

How We Waste Time: I

Time is the one workplace resource that's evenly distributed. Everyone gets exactly the same share, but some use it more wisely than others. Here's Part I of a little catalog of ways we waste time.

See also Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness and Effective Meetings for more related articles.

Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout

Coming June 19: I Don't Understand: II

Unclear, incomplete, or ambiguous statements are problematic, in part, because we need to seek clarification. How can we do that without seeming to be hostile, threatening, or disrespectful? Available here and by RSS on June 19.

And on June 26: Appearance Antipatterns: I

Appearances can be deceiving. Just as we can misinterpret the actions and motivations of others, others can misinterpret our own actions and motivations. But we can take steps to limit these effects. Available here and by RSS on June 26.

Coaching services

I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact Rick for details at rbrengTUAmvHBdPtPnXxzner@ChacPRajdYamyjbjfrasoCanyon.com or (650) 787-6475, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.

Get the ebook!

Past issues of Point Lookout are available in six ebooks:

• Get 2001-2 in Geese Don't Land on Twigs (PDF, USD 11.95)
• Get 2003-4 in Why Dogs Wag (PDF, USD 11.95)
• Get 2005-6 in Loopy Things We Do (PDF, USD 11.95)
• Get 2007-8 in Things We Believe That Maybe Aren't So True (PDF, USD 11.95)
• Get 2009-10 in The Questions Not Asked (PDF, USD 11.95)
• Get all of the first twelve years (2001-2012) in The Collected Issues of Point Lookout (PDF, USD 28.99)

Are you a writer, editor or publisher on deadline? Are you looking for an article that will get people talking and get compliments flying your way? You can have 500 words in your inbox in one hour. License any article from this Web site. More info

Public seminars

The Power Affect: How We Express Our Personal Power

Many people who possess real organizational power have a characteristic demeanor. It's the way they project their presence. I call this the power affect. Some people — call them power pretenders — adopt the power affect well before they attain significant organizational power. Unfortunately for their colleagues, and for their organizations, power pretenders can attain organizational power out of proportion to their merit or abilities. Understanding the power affect is therefore important for anyone who aims to attain power, or anyone who works with power pretenders. Read more about this program.

• A recording of a program presented 6:00 PM June 29 (Eastern Time), Monthly Webinar, Technobility Webinar Series. You can earn 1.0 Category 'A' PDU by viewing this program. View this program now.