Overtalking: II

As we saw last time, overtalking is expensive. It reduces the productivity of meetings, it intimidates people into withholding their contributions, and it enhances the risk of toxic conflict, which can permanently disrupt relationships. Let's now examine how we can prevent overtalking, and how we can intervene when it occurs.

I'll use the name Oscar to stand for the person who engages in overtalking. And I'll assume that the meeting in question is one in which more or less the same group meets repeatedly. Here's a short list of actions we can take.

Adopt behavioral norms

Adopt norms of behavior that preclude overtalking. Mention overtalking explicitly, saying that it is a deprecated behavior pattern.

Recognize that overtalking is a performance issue

Treating overtalking as a performance issue is a short path to an effective resolution — if a resolution is accessible at all. Have a private conversation with Oscar. If that doesn't work, ask Oscar's supervisor for assistance. If that doesn't work, ask your own supervisor to deal with Oscar's supervisor. If that doesn't work, the chances of improvement depend on the behavior of the rest of the group.

Ask for help

Ask Oscar for Treating overtalking as a
performance issue is a short
path to an effective
resolution — if a resolution
is accessible at allhelp in encouraging other meeting attendees to contribute. Explain that he can help by leaving space for others to contribute. If the overtalking comes from a place of eager earnestness, this tactic could be effective. If, on the other hand, the overtalking is a tactic employed to gain unfair advantage, or to abuse others, respectful requests for Oscar's help will likely fail.

Recognize that others play roles too

Dealing with problem behavior is everyone's responsibility. If overtalking has been effective for Oscar for some time, other attendees probably have contributed, either by not finding an effective way to deal with Oscar, or by not trying to deal with Oscar, or worse, by taking actions that exacerbated the situation. Have private conversations with those most willing to change. Suggest that if they ever feel that anyone else is overtalking when they're trying to speak, they can then ask the chair (or facilitator) to ask for order.

Facilitate

Most meetings do have someone in a designated facilitator role. If there isn't a formal facilitator, the meeting chair is the facilitator. Ensuring that the meeting is productive is the facilitator's responsibility. Because overtalking reduces productivity, the facilitator is responsible for intervening when overtalking occurs. When it occurs, the facilitator can say, "Excuse me Oscar, <someone-else's-name> has the floor." If Oscar continues overtalking, the facilitator can repeat the intervention. If Oscar continues after that, adjourn the meeting immediately, and take the steps described above for performance issues. If you can't adjourn, declare a ten-minute break, but adjournment is far safer.

Overtalking is generally unpleasant in non-overtalking cultures. Unpleasant though it might be, keeping your focus on the productivity you can gain by eliminating overtalking can help motivate you as you work through the problem.  Next in this seriesFirst in this series   Top    Next Issue

Are you fed up with tense, explosive meetings? Are you or a colleague the target of a bully? Destructive conflict can ruin organizations. But if we believe that all conflict is destructive, and that we can somehow eliminate conflict, or that conflict is an enemy of productivity, then we're in conflict with Conflict itself. Read 101 Tips for Managing Conflict to learn how to make peace with conflict and make it an organizational asset. Order Now!

Your comments are welcome

About Point Lookout

Thank you for reading this article. I hope you enjoyed it and found it useful, and that you'll consider recommending it to a friend.

Point Lookout is a free weekly email newsletter. Browse the archive of past issues. Subscribe for free.

Support Point Lookout by joining the Friends of Point Lookout, as an individual or as an organization.

Do you face a complex interpersonal situation? Send it in, anonymously if you like, and I'll give you my two cents.

Related articles

More articles on Conflict Management:

The Unappreciative Boss

Do you work for a boss who doesn't appreciate you? Do you feel ignored or excessively criticized? If you do, life can be a misery, if you make it so. Or you can work around it. It's up to you to choose.

Obstacles to Compromise

Compromise is the art of devising an approach acceptable to all parties. A talent for compromise is rare. What makes finding compromises so difficult?

Practice Positive Politics

Politics is a dirty word at work, as elsewhere. We think of it as purely destructive, often distorting decisions and leading the organization in wrong directions. And sometimes, it does. Politics can be constructive, though, and you can help to make it so.

Reframing Hurtful Dismissiveness

Targets of dismissive remarks often feel that their concerns are being judged as unimportant, which can be painful when their concerns are real. But there is an alternative to pain. It requires a little skill and discipline, but it can work.

Pushing the "Stupid" Button

Some people know exactly how to lead others to feel ignorant or unintelligent. Here's a little catalog of tactics to watch for.

See also Conflict Management and Effective Meetings for more related articles.

Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout

Coming November 20: Paid-Time-Off Risks

Associated with the trend to a single pool of paid time off from separate categories for vacation, sick time, and personal days are what might be called paid-time-off risks. If your team must meet customer expectations or a schedule of deliverables, managing paid-time-off risks can be important. Available here and by RSS on November 20.

And on November 27: Implicit Interrogations

Investigations at work can begin with implicit interrogations — implicit because they're unannounced and unacknowledged. The goal is to determine what people did or knew without revealing that an investigation is underway. When asked, those conducting these interrogations often deny they're doing it. What's the nature of implicit interrogations? Available here and by RSS on November 27.

Coaching services

I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact Rick for details at rbrenmhXARWRMUvVyOdHlner@ChacxgDmtwOKrxnripPCoCanyon.com or (650) 787-6475, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.

Get the ebook!

Past issues of Point Lookout are available in six ebooks:

• Get 2001-2 in Geese Don't Land on Twigs (PDF, )
• Get 2003-4 in Why Dogs Wag (PDF, )
• Get 2005-6 in Loopy Things We Do (PDF, )
• Get 2007-8 in Things We Believe That Maybe Aren't So True (PDF, )
• Get 2009-10 in The Questions Not Asked (PDF, )
• Get all of the first twelve years (2001-2012) in The Collected Issues of Point Lookout (PDF, )

Are you a writer, editor or publisher on deadline? Are you looking for an article that will get people talking and get compliments flying your way? You can have 500 words in your inbox in one hour. License any article from this Web site. More info

Public seminars

The Race to the South Pole: Ten Lessons for Project Managers

On 14 December 1911, four men led by Roald Amundsen reached the South Pole. Thirty-five days later, Robert F. Scott and four others followed. Amundsen had won the race to the pole. Amundsen's party returned to base on 26 January 1912. Scott's party perished. As historical drama, why this happened is interesting enough, but to organizational leaders, business analysts, project sponsors, and project managers, the story is fascinating. Lessons abound. Read more about this program.

Here's a date for this program:

• Gardner Village, 1100 W 7800 S, West Jordan, UT 84084: November 21, Quarterly Training Session, sponsored by Northern Utah Chapter of the Project Management Institute. Register now.
   

The Power Affect: How We Express Our Personal Power

Many people who possess real organizational power have a characteristic demeanor. It's the way they project their presence. I call this the power affect. Some people — call them power pretenders — adopt the power affect well before they attain significant organizational power. Unfortunately for their colleagues, and for their organizations, power pretenders can attain organizational power out of proportion to their merit or abilities. Understanding the power affect is therefore important for anyone who aims to attain power, or anyone who works with power pretenders. Read more about this program.

• A recording of a program presented June 29, 2017, Monthly Webinar, sponsored by Technobility Webinar Series. PMI members can earn 1.0 Category 'A' PDU by viewing this program. View this program now.