As we saw last time, overtalking is expensive. It reduces the productivity of meetings, it intimidates people into withholding their contributions, and it enhances the risk of toxic conflict, which can permanently disrupt relationships. Let's now examine how we can prevent overtalking, and how we can intervene when it occurs.
I'll use the name Oscar to stand for the person who engages in overtalking. And I'll assume that the meeting in question is one in which more or less the same group meets repeatedly. Here's a short list of actions we can take.
- Adopt behavioral norms
- Adopt norms of behavior that preclude overtalking. Mention overtalking explicitly, saying that it is a deprecated behavior pattern.
- Recognize that overtalking is a performance issue
- Treating overtalking as a performance issue is a short path to an effective resolution — if a resolution is accessible at all. Have a private conversation with Oscar. If that doesn't work, ask Oscar's supervisor for assistance. If that doesn't work, ask your own supervisor to deal with Oscar's supervisor. If that doesn't work, the chances of improvement depend on the behavior of the rest of the group.
- Ask for help
- Ask Oscar for Treating overtalking as a
performance issue is a short
path to an effective
resolution — if a resolution
is accessible at allhelp in encouraging other meeting attendees to contribute. Explain that he can help by leaving space for others to contribute. If the overtalking comes from a place of eager earnestness, this tactic could be effective. If, on the other hand, the overtalking is a tactic employed to gain unfair advantage, or to abuse others, respectful requests for Oscar's help will likely fail.
- Recognize that others play roles too
- Dealing with problem behavior is everyone's responsibility. If overtalking has been effective for Oscar for some time, other attendees probably have contributed, either by not finding an effective way to deal with Oscar, or by not trying to deal with Oscar, or worse, by taking actions that exacerbated the situation. Have private conversations with those most willing to change. Suggest that if they ever feel that anyone else is overtalking when they're trying to speak, they can then ask the chair (or facilitator) to ask for order.
- Most meetings do have someone in a designated facilitator role. If there isn't a formal facilitator, the meeting chair is the facilitator. Ensuring that the meeting is productive is the facilitator's responsibility. Because overtalking reduces productivity, the facilitator is responsible for intervening when overtalking occurs. When it occurs, the facilitator can say, "Excuse me Oscar, <someone-else's-name> has the floor." If Oscar continues overtalking, the facilitator can repeat the intervention. If Oscar continues after that, adjourn the meeting immediately, and take the steps described above for performance issues. If you can't adjourn, declare a ten-minute break, but adjournment is far safer.
Overtalking is generally unpleasant in non-overtalking cultures. Unpleasant though it might be, keeping your focus on the productivity you can gain by eliminating overtalking can help motivate you as you work through the problem. Next in this seriesFirst in this series Top Next Issue
Are you fed up with tense, explosive meetings? Are you or a colleague the target of a bully? Destructive conflict can ruin organizations. But if we believe that all conflict is destructive, and that we can somehow eliminate conflict, or that conflict is an enemy of productivity, then we're in conflict with Conflict itself. Read 101 Tips for Managing Conflict to learn how to make peace with conflict and make it an organizational asset. Order Now!
Your comments are welcomeWould you like to see your comments posted here? rbrenmhXARWRMUvVyOdHlner@ChacxgDmtwOKrxnripPCoCanyon.comSend me your comments by email, or by Web form.
About Point Lookout
Thank you for reading this article. I hope you enjoyed it and found it useful, and that you'll consider recommending it to a friend.
Support Point Lookout by joining the Friends of Point Lookout, as an individual or as an organization.
Do you face a complex interpersonal situation? Send it in, anonymously if you like, and I'll give you my two cents.
More articles on Conflict Management:
- Logically Illogical
- Discussions in meetings and in written media can get long and complex. When a chain of reasoning gets
long enough, we sometimes make fundamental errors of logic, especially when we're under time pressure.
Here are just a few.
- OODA at Work
- OODA is a model of decision-making that's especially useful in rapidly evolving environments, such as
combat, marketing, politics, and emergency management. Here's a brief overview.
- New Ideas: Experimentation
- In collaborative problem solving, teams sometimes perform experiments to help choose a solution. These
experiments sometimes lead to trouble. What are the troubles and how can we avoid them?
- Anecdotes and Refutations
- In debate and argumentation, anecdotes are useful. They illustrate. They make things concrete. But they
aren't proof of anything. Using anecdotes as proofs leads to much trouble and wasted time.
- During-Action Reviews
- When you depend on internal services to get your job done, and they aren't being delivered in a customer-oriented
fashion, solving the problem during the incident isn't likely to work. Here are seven tips for addressing
Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout
- Coming April 8: The New Virtual Meeting: Digressions
- The bane of meetings everywhere, even before the COVID-19 pandemic, has been digressions. But there are reasons to expect the incidence of digressions in meetings to increase now. What reasons could there be, and what can we do about digressions? Available here and by RSS on April 8.
- And on April 15: Incompetence: Traps and Snares
- Sometimes people judge as incompetent colleagues who are unprepared to carry out their responsibilities. Some of these "incompetents" are trapped or ensnared in incompetence, unable to acquire the ability to do their jobs. Available here and by RSS on April 15.
I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact Rick for details at rbrenmhXARWRMUvVyOdHlner@ChacxgDmtwOKrxnripPCoCanyon.com or (650) 787-6475, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.
Get the ebook!
Past issues of Point Lookout are available in six ebooks:
- Get 2001-2 in Geese Don't Land on Twigs (PDF, )
- Get 2003-4 in Why Dogs Wag (PDF, )
- Get 2005-6 in Loopy Things We Do (PDF, )
- Get 2007-8 in Things We Believe That Maybe Aren't So True (PDF, )
- Get 2009-10 in The Questions Not Asked (PDF, )
- Get all of the first twelve years (2001-2012) in The Collected Issues of Point Lookout (PDF, )
Are you a writer, editor or publisher on deadline? Are you looking for an article that will get people talking and get compliments flying your way? You can have 500 words in your inbox in one hour. License any article from this Web site. More info
- The Power Affect: How We Express Our Personal Power
Many people who possess real organizational power have a characteristic demeanor. It's the way they project their presence. I call this the power affect. Some people — call them power pretenders — adopt the power affect well before they attain significant organizational power. Unfortunately for their colleagues, and for their organizations, power pretenders can attain organizational power out of proportion to their merit or abilities. Understanding the power affect is therefore important for anyone who aims to attain power, or anyone who works with power pretenders. Read more about this program.