Seventeen Guidelines About Workplace Bullying

When we must make quick decisions about emotional issues, we're more likely than usual to make mistakes. It's helpful in those situations to have distilled what we believe into guidelines we can easily recall when we need them. Here are some memorable guidelines for dealing with bullying.

1. Letting yourself be bullied without end isn't a success strategy.
2. Ignoring bullying won't cause the bully to get bored and find another target. It's more likely to convince the bully to do something you can't ignore.
3. Hiring an attorney won't stop the bully, but it will make your employer aware that you're a threat. Your employer must then decide which threat it fears more — you or the bully. If you do hire an attorney, be certain that your employer will fear you more than the bully.
4. Trying to end bullying by avoiding the bully is as likely to succeed as trying to survive while swimming in shark-infested waters by avoiding sharks.
5. Humor can deflect a bully's attack if the attack is public and the bully doesn't want to be seen as a bully. Otherwise, humor is unlikely to help.
6. Bullies fear harm, just like everyone else. To make the bullying stop, convince the bully that if the bullying continues, severe harm is inevitable.
7. Someone who has never been bullied can't really understand what it's like to be a target.
8. Someone who has never been bullied by this specific bully can't really understand what it's like to be a target of this bully.
9. The trouble between the bully and the target isn't a "personality clash." There is no such thing.
10. Targets cannot end the bullying by trying harder to "get along." The bullying isn't about the target's misbehavior.
11. Bullies don't bully their targets to "get even" for their targets' past offenses. They bully their targets because of inner compulsions that the bullies don't yet know how to control — or don't yet want to.
12. Bullies cannot Bullies cannot be persuaded
    by rational argument to stop
    bullying. Their inner compulsions
    aren't rational.be persuaded by rational argument to stop bullying. Their inner compulsions aren't rational.
13. Being bullied isn't the target's "fault."
14. Letting a bully abuse someone else without end isn't a way to avoid becoming the next target.
15. Bystanders who are aware of the bullying and don't act to stop it share responsibility for the bullying. They aren't innocent.
16. Many organizations claim, "We don't hire bullies." Horsepucky. All organizations hire bullies, mostly unintentionally. The key word is "mostly."
17. Trying to resolve a bullying issue with conventional conflict resolution techniques is like bowling with golf balls. You might knock a pin down here and there by chance, but it would be a freak occurrence.

If you're a target, keep these in mind. If you know a target, keep these in mind.  Top    Next Issue

Is a workplace bully targeting you? Do you know what to do to end the bullying? Workplace bullying is so widespread that a 2014 survey indicated that 27% of American workers have experienced bullying firsthand, that 21% have witnessed it, and that 72% are aware that bullying happens. Yet, there are few laws to protect workers from bullies, and bullying is not a crime in most jurisdictions. 101 Tips for Targets of Workplace Bullies is filled with the insights targets of bullying need to find a way to survive, and then to finally end the bullying. Also available at Apple's iTunes store! Just . Order Now!

Your comments are welcome

About Point Lookout

Thank you for reading this article. I hope you enjoyed it and found it useful, and that you'll consider recommending it to a friend.

This article in its entirety was written by a human being. No machine intelligence was involved in any way.

Point Lookout is a free weekly email newsletter. Browse the archive of past issues. Subscribe for free.

Support Point Lookout by joining the Friends of Point Lookout, as an individual or as an organization.

Do you face a complex interpersonal situation? Send it in, anonymously if you like, and I'll give you my two cents.

Related articles

More articles on Workplace Bullying:

Deniable Intimidation

Some people achieve or maintain power by intimidating others in deniable ways. Too often, when intimidators succeed, their success rests in part on our unwillingness to resist, or on our lack of skill. By understanding their tactics, and by preparing responses, we can deter intimidators.

How Targets of Bullies Can Use OODA: I

Most targets of bullies just want the bullying to stop, but most bullies don't stop unless they fear for their own welfare if they continue the bullying. To end the bullying, targets must turn the tables.

So You Want the Bullying to End: I

If you're the target of a workplace bully, you probably want the bullying to end. If you've ever been the target of a workplace bully, you probably remember wanting it to end. But how it ends can be more important than whether or when it ends.

What Micromanaging Is and Isn't

Micromanaging is a dysfunctional pattern of management behavior, involving interference in the work others are supposedly doing. Confusion about what it is and what it isn't makes effective response difficult.

Double Binds at Work

At work, a double bind arises when someone in authority makes contradictory demands of a subordinate, who has no alternative but to choose among options that all lead to unwelcome results. Double binds are far more common than most of us realize.

See also Workplace Bullying for more related articles.

Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout

Coming July 16: Responding to Unwelcome Events

Unwelcome events have two kinds of effects on decision-makers. One set of effects appears as we respond to events that have actually occurred. Another set manifests itself as we prepare for unwelcome events that haven't yet occurred, but which might occur. Making a wrong decision in either case can be costly. Available here and by RSS on July 16.

And on July 23: Microdelegation

Microdelegation is a style of delegation in which the delegator unintentionally communicates the task to the subordinate in such detail and so repetitively that the subordinate is offended. As a result of this delegation style, many subordinates feel distrusted or suspected of fraud or goldbricking. Available here and by RSS on July 23.

Coaching services

I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact Rick for details at rbrenaXXxGCwVgbgLZDuRner@ChacDjdMAATPdDNJnrSwoCanyon.com or (650) 787-6475, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.

Get the ebook!

Past issues of Point Lookout are available in six ebooks:

• Get 2001-2 in Geese Don't Land on Twigs (PDF, )
• Get 2003-4 in Why Dogs Wag (PDF, )
• Get 2005-6 in Loopy Things We Do (PDF, )
• Get 2007-8 in Things We Believe That Maybe Aren't So True (PDF, )
• Get 2009-10 in The Questions Not Asked (PDF, )
• Get all of the first twelve years (2001-2012) in The Collected Issues of Point Lookout (PDF, )

Are you a writer, editor or publisher on deadline? Are you looking for an article that will get people talking and get compliments flying your way? You can have 500-1000 words in your inbox in one hour. License any article from this Web site. More info