Seventeen Guidelines About Workplace Bullying

When we must make quick decisions about emotional issues, we're more likely than usual to make mistakes. It's helpful in those situations to have distilled what we believe into guidelines we can easily recall when we need them. Here are some memorable guidelines for dealing with bullying.

1. Letting yourself be bullied without end isn't a success strategy.
2. Ignoring bullying won't cause the bully to get bored and find another target. It's more likely to convince the bully to do something you can't ignore.
3. Hiring an attorney won't stop the bully, but it will make your employer aware that you're a threat. Your employer must then decide which threat it fears more — you or the bully. If you do hire an attorney, be certain that your employer will fear you more than the bully.
4. Trying to end bullying by avoiding the bully is as likely to succeed as trying to survive while swimming in shark-infested waters by avoiding sharks.
5. Humor can deflect a bully's attack if the attack is public and the bully doesn't want to be seen as a bully. Otherwise, humor is unlikely to help.
6. Bullies fear harm, just like everyone else. To make the bullying stop, convince the bully that if the bullying continues, severe harm is inevitable.
7. Someone who has never been bullied can't really understand what it's like to be a target.
8. Someone who has never been bullied by this specific bully can't really understand what it's like to be a target of this bully.
9. The trouble between the bully and the target isn't a "personality clash." There is no such thing.
10. Targets cannot end the bullying by trying harder to "get along." The bullying isn't about the target's misbehavior.
11. Bullies don't bully their targets to "get even" for their targets' past offenses. They bully their targets because of inner compulsions that the bullies don't yet know how to control — or don't yet want to.
12. Bullies cannot Bullies cannot be persuaded
    by rational argument to stop
    bullying. Their inner compulsions
    aren't rational.be persuaded by rational argument to stop bullying. Their inner compulsions aren't rational.
13. Being bullied isn't the target's "fault."
14. Letting a bully abuse someone else without end isn't a way to avoid becoming the next target.
15. Bystanders who are aware of the bullying and don't act to stop it share responsibility for the bullying. They aren't innocent.
16. Many organizations claim, "We don't hire bullies." Horsepucky. All organizations hire bullies, mostly unintentionally. The key word is "mostly."
17. Trying to resolve a bullying issue with conventional conflict resolution techniques is like bowling with golf balls. You might knock a pin down here and there by chance, but it would be a freak occurrence.

If you're a target, keep these in mind. If you know a target, keep these in mind.  Top    Next Issue

Is a workplace bully targeting you? Do you know what to do to end the bullying? Workplace bullying is so widespread that a 2014 survey indicated that 27% of American workers have experienced bullying firsthand, that 21% have witnessed it, and that 72% are aware that bullying happens. Yet, there are few laws to protect workers from bullies, and bullying is not a crime in most jurisdictions. 101 Tips for Targets of Workplace Bullies is filled with the insights targets of bullying need to find a way to survive, and then to finally end the bullying. Also available at Apple's iTunes store! Just . Order Now!

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Confronting the Workplace Bully: I

When a bully targets you, you have three options: accept the abuse; avoid the bully or escape; and confront or fight back. Confrontation is a better choice than many believe — if you know what you're doing.

When the Chair Is a Bully: III

When the chair of the meeting is so dominant that attendees withhold comments or slant contributions to please the chair, meeting output is at risk of corruption. Because chairs usually can retaliate against attendees who aren't "cooperative," this problem is difficult to address. Here's Part III of our exploration of the problem of bully chairs.

What Micromanaging Is and Isn't

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See also Workplace Bullying and Conflict Management for more related articles.

Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout

Coming December 8: Surviving Incompetence: II

When your organization undertakes a misguided effort that will certainly fail, you have options. One is to head for the exit. To search for a new position in such circumstances requires some care. Example: an internal transfer might not really be an exit. Available here and by RSS on December 8.

And on December 15: Do My Job

A popular guideline in modern workplaces is "do your job." The idea is that if we all do our jobs, success is most likely. But some supervisors demand that subordinates do their own jobs, plus the jobs of their supervisors. It rarely works out well. Available here and by RSS on December 15.

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