Point Lookout: a free weekly publication of Chaco Canyon Consulting
Volume 19, Issue 25;   June 19, 2019: I Don't Understand: II

I Don't Understand: II

by

Unclear, incomplete, or ambiguous statements are problematic, in part, because we need to seek clarification. How can we do that without seeming to be hostile, threatening, or disrespectful?
Lost in a maze

When someone says something that's unclear, incomplete, or ambiguous, seeking clarification can be daunting, as I discussed last time. Tactics for safely seeking clarification of unclear, incomplete, or ambiguous statements by others tend to be variations on a theme: make plain to your target that you aren't questioning the statement; rather you're merely seeking clarification. In the examples below, I'll use the term seeker to refer to the person seeking clarification, and the term respondent to refer to the person who has made the unclear, incomplete, or ambiguous statement. Each technique below has a label and a sample of the form of the seeker's query.

Humor: I'm just an old country project manager, so can you please explain for me what X means?
This is an example of the seeker using humor to defuse the tension that might otherwise accompany the query. The phrase "old country project manager" is a play on "old country lawyer," made famous by Senator Sam Ervin during the Watergate hearings. The surprise twist at the end makes the query mildly funny.
Guessing: I'd guess that by X you mean Y, is that right?
In this example, Unclear, incomplete, or ambiguous
statements are problematic, in part,
because we must seek clarification
without seeming to be hostile,
threatening, or disrespectful
by proposing an example interpretation (Y), the seeker provides a concrete example that the respondent can address specifically. It's a closed question, which reduces the respondent's burden compared to an open question. See "Asking Clarifying Questions," Point Lookout for January 14, 2009, for more.
Using the word guessing is also helpful, because it's somewhat self-deprecating. Choosing a Y that is almost certainly correct adds to your credibility. Following this query with "And what about Z?" can be useful if Z is chosen to be much less certainly correct. That tactic helps to establish the boundaries of the ambiguity range.
Hypothesis: Would Y be an example of X?
This form is similar to the Guessing tactic in the sense that it's also a closed question. The use of the word would makes the question hypothetical, which could give the respondent a sense of freedom — of not having to worry about being pinned down to specifics.
This form also avoids the word you. Avoiding you further insulates the respondent from the query, reducing the chance of the respondent feeling attacked. Compare this to, "Would Y be an example of what you mean by X?"
Recollection: I vaguely recall that X happened the last time Y occurred. Any connection?
In this form, we draw a connection between the issue at hand, X, and something from the past, Y. But we confess to only a vague recollection of Y. The vagueness of the recollection leaves maneuvering room for the respondent, and thus limits the risk of appearing threatening. Vagueness is generally something to avoid, because it can seem slippery and conniving, but in connection with memory, it's more acceptable. Nearly everyone knows how vague memories can be. Of course, avoid this tactic when dealing with someone who takes pride in remembering everything.
The vagueness also leaves space for the respondent to add to the indicated connection, which draws the respondent into providing information — in a helpful way — possibly including information that can resolve the ambiguity of the respondent's initial statement.
Extrapolation: I'm familiar with X in the Y context, but what does it mean in Z?
In this form, the seeker preemptively asserts some related knowledge — X in the Y context. That assertion addresses the seeker's concern about image. It also engages the respondent in a potentially interesting discussion about the meaning of extrapolating X from Y to Z.
By taking the respondent's words seriously, the seeker limits the risk of seeming to be critical by seeking clarification.

The examples above illustrate how seekers can inquire thoughtfully and respectfully with a limited chance of appearing to be threatening. Tactics that accomplish that goal have a good chance of achieving clarification safely. But the respondent is in charge of the response. Chance is the key word. First in this series  Go to top Top  Next issue: Appearance Antipatterns: I  Next Issue

303 Secrets of Workplace PoliticsIs every other day a tense, anxious, angry misery as you watch people around you, who couldn't even think their way through a game of Jacks, win at workplace politics and steal the credit and glory for just about everyone's best work including yours? Read 303 Secrets of Workplace Politics, filled with tips and techniques for succeeding in workplace politics. More info

Your comments are welcome

Would you like to see your comments posted here? rbrenmhXARWRMUvVyOdHlner@ChacxgDmtwOKrxnripPCoCanyon.comSend me your comments by email, or by Web form.

About Point Lookout

Thank you for reading this article. I hope you enjoyed it and found it useful, and that you'll consider recommending it to a friend.

Point Lookout is a free weekly email newsletter. Browse the archive of past issues. Subscribe for free.

Support Point Lookout by joining the Friends of Point Lookout, as an individual or as an organization.

Do you face a complex interpersonal situation? Send it in, anonymously if you like, and I'll give you my two cents.

Related articles

More articles on Workplace Politics:

Benjamin FranklinPractice Positive Politics
Politics is a dirty word at work, as elsewhere. We think of it as purely destructive, often distorting decisions and leading the organization in wrong directions. And sometimes, it does. Politics can be constructive, though, and you can help to make it so.
Linda Tripp, a central figure in the impeachment of President ClintonPumpers
In workplace politics, some people always seem to be seeking information about others, but they give very little in return. They're pumpers. What can you do to deal with pumpers?
Red Ball Express troops stack "jerry cans" used to transport gasoline to front-line units during World War II.Inappropriate Levels of Regard
The regard we have for others as people is sometimes influenced by the regard we have for the work they do. Confusing the two is a dangerous error.
Three Card Monte, Jaffa, IsraelSome Hazards of Skip-Level Interviews: II
Skip-level interviews are dialogs between a subordinate and the subordinate's supervisor's supervisor. They can be both heplful and hazardous. Here's Part II of a little catalog of the hazards.
Tree rings, "documentary" evidence of past environmental conditionsOn Reporting Workplace Malpractice
Reporting workplace malpractice can be the right thing to do. And it's often career-dangerous. Here are some risks to ponder before reporting what you know.

See also Workplace Politics and Effective Communication at Work for more related articles.

Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout

An excavator loads spoil into rail cars in the Culebra Cut, Panama, 1904Coming October 23: Power Distance and Teams
One of the attributes of team cultures is something called power distance, which is a measure of the overall comfort people have with inequality in the distribution of power. Power distance can determine how well a team performs when executing high-risk projects. Available here and by RSS on October 23.
John Frank Stevens, who conceived the design and method of construction of the Panama CanalAnd on October 30: Power Distance and Risk
Managing or responding to project risks is much easier when team culture encourages people to report problems and question any plans they have reason to doubt. Here are five examples that show how such encouragement helps to manage risk. Available here and by RSS on October 30.

Coaching services

I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact Rick for details at rbrenmhXARWRMUvVyOdHlner@ChacxgDmtwOKrxnripPCoCanyon.com or (650) 787-6475, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.

Get the ebook!

Past issues of Point Lookout are available in six ebooks:

Reprinting this article

Are you a writer, editor or publisher on deadline? Are you looking for an article that will get people talking and get compliments flying your way? You can have 500 words in your inbox in one hour. License any article from this Web site. More info

Public seminars

The Race to the South Pole: Lessons in Leadership

On 14The Race to the South Pole: Lessons in Leadership December 1911, four men led by Roald Amundsen reached the South Pole. Thirty-five days later, Robert F. Scott and four others followed. Amundsen had won the race to the pole. Amundsen's party returned to base on 26 January 1912. Scott's party perished. As historical drama, why this happened is interesting enough. But to organizational leaders, business analysts, project sponsors, and project managers, the story is fascinating. We'll use the history of this event to explore lessons in leadership and its application to organizational efforts. A fascinating and refreshing look at leadership from the vantage point of history. Read more about this program.

Here's a date for this program:

The Power Affect: How We Express Our Personal Power

Many The
Power Affect: How We Express Personal Powerpeople who possess real organizational power have a characteristic demeanor. It's the way they project their presence. I call this the power affect. Some people — call them power pretenders — adopt the power affect well before they attain significant organizational power. Unfortunately for their colleagues, and for their organizations, power pretenders can attain organizational power out of proportion to their merit or abilities. Understanding the power affect is therefore important for anyone who aims to attain power, or anyone who works with power pretenders. Read more about this program.

Follow Rick

Send email or subscribe to one of my newsletters Follow me at LinkedIn Follow me at Twitter, or share a tweet Subscribe to RSS feeds Subscribe to RSS feeds
The message of Point Lookout is unique. Help get the message out. Please donate to help keep Point Lookout available for free to everyone.
Technical Debt for Policymakers BlogMy blog, Technical Debt for Policymakers, offers resources, insights, and conversations of interest to policymakers who are concerned with managing technical debt within their organizations. Get the millstone of technical debt off the neck of your organization!
Go For It: Sometimes It's Easier If You RunBad boss, long commute, troubling ethical questions, hateful colleague? Learn what we can do when we love the work but not the job.
303 Tips for Virtual and Global TeamsLearn how to make your virtual global team sing.
101 Tips for Managing ChangeAre you managing a change effort that faces rampant cynicism, passive non-cooperation, or maybe even outright revolt?
101 Tips for Effective MeetingsLearn how to make meetings more productive — and more rare.
Exchange your "personal trade secrets" — the tips, tricks and techniques that make you an ace — with other aces, anonymously. Visit the Library of Personal Trade Secrets.
If your teams don't yet consistently achieve state-of-the-art teamwork, check out this catalog. Help is just a few clicks/taps away!
Ebooks, booklets and tip books on project management, conflict, writing email, effective meetings and more.