Point Lookout: a free weekly publication of Chaco Canyon Consulting
Volume 24, Issue 10;   March 6, 2024: Six More Insights About Workplace Bullying

Six More Insights About Workplace Bullying

by

Some of the lore about dealing with bullies at work isn't just wrong — it's harmful. It's harmful in the sense that applying it intensifies the bullying. Here are six insights that might help when devising strategies for dealing with bullies at work. Example: Letting yourself be bullied is not a thing.
Adolf Hitler greets Neville Chamberlain at the beginning of the Bad Godesberg meeting on 24 September 1938

Adolf Hitler greets Neville Chamberlain at the beginning of the Bad Godesberg meeting on 24 September 1938. It was at this meeting that the Munich Agreement was concluded, on 30 September.

Note that the greeting occurs at a point where Hitler is standing at a level two steps higher than Chamberlain — high enough to communicate a message of superiority, but not so high as to make a handshake impossible. Image (cc) Deutsches Bundesarchiv, courtesy Wikipedia.

The single most important insight about workplace bullying is a clear understanding of what bullying is and is not. For example, some regard aggression as bullying only if it occurs as a series of incidents over a period of time. But that requirement causes much bullying to go unrecognized. A better definition recognizes that bullying need not be a series of incidents. One incident is enough, because the bully's target will likely relive the incident over a period of months or even years. So I prefer to define bullying at work as any aggressive behavior, associated with work, and primarily intended to cause physical or psychological harm to others.

With that definition in mind, let me set about raising doubts about some other beliefs about workplace bullying.

Letting yourself be bullied is not a thing
I suppose there are some psychological pathologies that could cause a target to appear to be inviting the bullying. But the vast majority of targets of bullies aren't "letting" themselves be bullied. Targets are bullied because of choices the bullies make, not choices the targets make.
Toughening up isn't a solution
Targets can't Targets are bullied because of
choices the bullies make, not
choices the targets make
get the bully to stop by toughening up and showing the bully they can take it. If the bullies sense that their tactics aren't creating enough suffering, they try different tactics. And the tactics they try will be even more abusive than whatever they had been using up to that point.
Being "good" doesn't work either
Targets can't get the bullying to stop by being "good," or by being deferential to the bully. These strategies are among many in the category of appeasement. There is no possibility of appeasing bullies. What the bullies want is simple — to inflict harm so as to witness suffering that they caused. Only suffering appeases bullies.
There is no overlap between workplace bullying and tough management
Some bullies claim that their bullying is simply "tough management." Management is the art and science of coordinating people and resources to achieve a specified objective within a specified time. Tough management might be tough, but its primary goal is achieving the objective, not causing harm to others.
Tolerating bullying by a subordinate is bullying by proxy
Bullying by proxy happens when one person (A) directs, supports, or encourages another person (B) as B engages in bullying a third person (C). Some managers (As) know that their subordinates (Bs) bully others (Cs). They feel that their hands are clean because they did not directly participate in the bullying. That is a self-serving illusion. Their support or tolerance of bullying by subordinates is nothing more than bullying by proxy.
Having lots of friends is not a defense against bullying
Some people believe that they can bring an end to their being bullied by trying harder to get along with others or by building a network of friends. While this strategy might be a comfort, it will not deter the bully. Bullies are deterred only by a high probability of harm to themselves or their careers if they persist in bullying long enough to be caught at it. So having friends is helpful to targets, but it doesn't deter bullies unless those friends have the political clout necessary to severely damage the bully's career.

Last words

One of the more debilitating beliefs about bullying at work is that the Human Resources function can intervene in cases of bullying to protect the bullies' targets. That they can do so is probably true. And the people who staff that function probably would like to intervene. But in most enterprises, the primary client of the Human Resources function is the enterprise, not the people who work within the enterprise. Interventions executed by Human Resources are often designed with a primary goal of protecting the enterprise. That goal might or might not be consistent with the best interest of the bully's target. Go to top Top  Next issue: On Anticipating Consequences  Next Issue

101 Tips for Targets of Workplace BulliesIs a workplace bully targeting you? Do you know what to do to end the bullying? Workplace bullying is so widespread that a 2014 survey indicated that 27% of American workers have experienced bullying firsthand, that 21% have witnessed it, and that 72% are aware that bullying happens. Yet, there are few laws to protect workers from bullies, and bullying is not a crime in most jurisdictions. 101 Tips for Targets of Workplace Bullies is filled with the insights targets of bullying need to find a way to survive, and then to finally end the bullying. Also available at Apple's iTunes store! Just . Order Now!

Your comments are welcome

Would you like to see your comments posted here? rbrendPtoGuFOkTSMQOzxner@ChacEgGqaylUnkmwIkkwoCanyon.comSend me your comments by email, or by Web form.

About Point Lookout

This article in its entirety was written by a 
          human being. No machine intelligence was involved in any way.Thank you for reading this article. I hope you enjoyed it and found it useful, and that you'll consider recommending it to a friend.

This article in its entirety was written by a human being. No machine intelligence was involved in any way.

Point Lookout is a free weekly email newsletter. Browse the archive of past issues. Subscribe for free.

Support Point Lookout by joining the Friends of Point Lookout, as an individual or as an organization.

Do you face a complex interpersonal situation? Send it in, anonymously if you like, and I'll give you my two cents.

Related articles

More articles on Workplace Bullying:

The silhouette of a famous fictional detectiveSome Truths About Lies: II
Knowing when someone else is lying doesn't make you a more ethical person, but it sure can be an advantage if you want to stay out of trouble. Here's Part II of a catalog of techniques misleaders use.
September 11, 2001 attacks in New York CityLook Where You Aren't Looking
Being blindsided by an adverse event could indicate the event's sudden, unexpected development. It can also indicate a failure to anticipate what could have been reasonably anticipated. How can we improve our ability to prepare for adverse events?
Tim Murphy, official photo for the 112th CongressStrategies of Verbal Abusers
Verbal abuse at work has special properties, because it takes place in an environment in which verbal abuse is supposedly proscribed. Yet verbal abuse does happen at work. Here are three strategies abusers rely on to avoid disciplinary action.
A demanding managerWhat Micromanaging Is and Isn't
Micromanaging is a dysfunctional pattern of management behavior, involving interference in the work others are supposedly doing. Confusion about what it is and what it isn't makes effective response difficult.
"Approaching the fowl with stalking-horse", an 1875 illustration of a cut-out horse shape used in huntingBullying by Proxy: II
Bullying by proxy occurs when A bullies B at the behest of C. Organizational control of bullying by proxy is difficult, in part, because C's contribution is covert. Policies that control overt bullying are less effective at controlling bullying by proxy.

See also Workplace Bullying and Critical Thinking at Work for more related articles.

Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout

A close-up view of a chipseal road surfaceComing July 3: Additive bias…or Not: II
Additive bias is a cognitive bias that many believe contributes to bloat of commercial products. When we change products to make them more capable, additive bias might not play a role, because economic considerations sometimes favor additive approaches. Available here and by RSS on July 3.
The standard conception of delegationAnd on July 10: On Delegating Accountability: I
As the saying goes, "You can't delegate your own accountability." Despite wide knowledge of this aphorism, people try it from time to time, especially when overcome by the temptation of a high-risk decision. What can you delegate, and how can you do it? Available here and by RSS on July 10.

Coaching services

I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact Rick for details at rbrendPtoGuFOkTSMQOzxner@ChacEgGqaylUnkmwIkkwoCanyon.com or (650) 787-6475, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.

Get the ebook!

Past issues of Point Lookout are available in six ebooks:

Reprinting this article

Are you a writer, editor or publisher on deadline? Are you looking for an article that will get people talking and get compliments flying your way? You can have 500-1000 words in your inbox in one hour. License any article from this Web site. More info

Follow Rick

Send email or subscribe to one of my newsletters Follow me at LinkedIn Follow me at X, or share a post Subscribe to RSS feeds Subscribe to RSS feeds
The message of Point Lookout is unique. Help get the message out. Please donate to help keep Point Lookout available for free to everyone.
Technical Debt for Policymakers BlogMy blog, Technical Debt for Policymakers, offers resources, insights, and conversations of interest to policymakers who are concerned with managing technical debt within their organizations. Get the millstone of technical debt off the neck of your organization!
Go For It: Sometimes It's Easier If You RunBad boss, long commute, troubling ethical questions, hateful colleague? Learn what we can do when we love the work but not the job.
303 Tips for Virtual and Global TeamsLearn how to make your virtual global team sing.
101 Tips for Managing ChangeAre you managing a change effort that faces rampant cynicism, passive non-cooperation, or maybe even outright revolt?
101 Tips for Effective MeetingsLearn how to make meetings more productive — and more rare.
Exchange your "personal trade secrets" — the tips, tricks and techniques that make you an ace — with other aces, anonymously. Visit the Library of Personal Trade Secrets.
If your teams don't yet consistently achieve state-of-the-art teamwork, check out this catalog. Help is just a few clicks/taps away!
Ebooks, booklets and tip books on project management, conflict, writing email, effective meetings and more.