Slogging through traffic on his way home, Jason remembered that tomorrow was the day. He'd rescheduled his "annual" physical so many times that it was now biannual, and he knew he couldn't delay it any more. "I wonder whether I ought to tell him about the pain," he thought. It came only once in a while, mostly late at night after a big meal, but more and more often now. "Probably nothing," he thought. "Unless it's the big C."
He knew he'd have trouble sleeping that night. "If it's cancer," he thought, "I wonder how long I have?" He remembered his eighth grade homeroom teacher, who missed the three days right before Spring vacation, and never returned. "They know a lot more now," he thought, "but maybe they don't know much about this one. I should get things in order."
The next day, Jason did tell his doctor about the pain. It was serious, but treatable with a prescription. He's fine, now — physically. But Jason continues to suffer from a common pattern of thinking. Jason dreads.
If anticipating problems
is part of your job,
you risk carrying that
pattern of thinking
home with you, and
applying it in
inappropriate waysHe dreads magnificently. After a lifetime of worrying, he can now conjure up threatening, yet plausible, scenarios based on almost no real information, a talent that makes him a valuable member of any risk management team. And he pays a high price for it personally.
- He frets endlessly about things he cannot prevent, avoid, or influence.
- He obsesses about being late, even when he knows that everyone else will be late, too.
- He worries about whether he worries too much or enough.
- When he isn't worrying enough, he downshifts to a lower fear.
- Even when things are going well, he worries: "Something bad is coming, I just know it."
If anticipating problems is part of your job, you risk carrying that pattern of thinking home with you, and applying it in inappropriate ways. Dread turns joyous and fun experiences into painful burdens. Here are some tips for getting off your dreadmill.
- Acknowledge the value of worry. It helps you anticipate trouble and plan for it.
- Track the effectiveness of your worrying. Is it worth the effort?
- Track the time you spend worrying. Become aware of how much a part of your life worrying has become.
- Track the time you spend fantasizing about wonderful things. If it's a lot less than your worry time, spend more time at it.
- Hang a picture of Mark Twain on your wall with this quote: "I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened."
As I write these little essays, I sometimes worry about finding an ending that's just right. Sometimes I can't. It's OK. Top Next Issue
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More articles on Emotions at Work:
- Your Wishing Wand
- Wishing — for ourselves, for others, or for all — helps us focus on what we really want.
When we know what we really want, we're ready to make the little moves that make it happen. Here's a
little user's guide for your wishing wand.
- Ethical Influence: II
- When we influence others as they're making tough decisions, it's easy to enter a gray area. How can
we be certain that our influence isn't manipulation? How can we influence others ethically?
- Toxic Conflict in Virtual Teams: Dissociative Anonymity
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dissociative anonymity causes toxic conflict to be both more easily triggered and more difficult to resolve.
- Toxic Conflict in Teams: Attacks
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opposition. In the early stages of toxic conflict, the attacks often escape notice. Here's a catalog
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- Getting Value from Involuntary Seminars
- Whatever your organizational role, from time to time you might find yourself attending seminars or presentations
involuntarily. The value you derive from these "opportunities" depends as much on you as on
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See also Emotions at Work and Emotions at Work for more related articles.
Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout
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- And on December 18: Subgrouping and Conway's Law
- When task-oriented work groups address complex tasks, they might form subgroups to address subtasks. The structure of the subgroups and the order in which they form depend on the structure of the group's task and the sequencing of the subtasks. Available here and by RSS on December 18.
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