Point Lookout: a free weekly publication of Chaco Canyon Consulting
Volume 6, Issue 20;   May 17, 2006: My Right Foot

My Right Foot

by

There's nothing like an injury or illness to teach you some life lessons. Here are some things I learned recently when I temporarily lost some of my independence.

Earlier this year, I broke the fifth metatarsal of my right foot. It was just a crack, and it mended itself nicely. I've already stowed in the back of a closet what I've come to call my "first cane," and soon I'll resume running.

My right foot. Arrow indicates the location of the break.But I learned some things from this experience — things that apply to more of life than just breaking a bone in your foot. Here are four insights that might help people who lead teams or manage projects.

When you sense trouble, pay attention
For a week before my foot finally gave out, it hurt. I ignored it. I should have seen a doctor. I didn't, and the bone finally cracked.
It's a lot easier to stay out of trouble than to get out of trouble. When you notice signs of trouble in a project or in a team, find out what's going on. Don't let trouble simmer. It will only come to a boil. See "Some Things I've Learned Along the Way," Point Lookout for October 19, 2005.
Ask for help
I needed help for the little tasks in life that I normally do for myself. Some help came from friends and acquaintances; some came from paid services. But very little came without my seeking it or accepting that I needed it.
It's OK to ask for help. It's OK to take your time, if you need to, when people around you are in a hurry. If you need something to get the job done, ask for it. See "Help for Asking for Help," Point Lookout for December 10, 2003, for more about asking for help.
Some people might decline your request for help
It's OK to
ask for help.
It's OK to
take your time.
Some of the people I asked for help didn't provide it.
Remember that when you ask for help, you're only asking, and the people you ask can decline, or offer something different from what you asked for. Prepare yourself for answers other than "yes." You might get a counter offer that could work, or you might get a flat "no." If that happens, you have to deal with that, too.
Some help isn't help
Some people, trying to help, actually make things more difficult. For instance, they hold open doors that stay open by themselves, and in doing so, they narrow the passageway.
Know how to handle help that isn't really help. It might be necessary to explain why adding staff doesn't make the project go faster, or why some people are just the wrong people for the work to be done. Be clear.

Most important, remember that some help is difficult to repay. Real help requires that you know of a need, that the person in need agrees about the need, that you have permission to help, and that you be able to help. Those four factors must all be present, and if they aren't, you might not be able to return the favor. If you can return a favor, fine. But don't wait too long for the chance — "return" it to somebody else. Go to top Top  Next issue: Inner Babble  Next Issue

Go For It: Sometimes It's Easier If You RunLove the work but not the job? Bad boss, long commute, troubling ethical questions, hateful colleague? This ebook looks at what we can do to get more out of life at work. It helps you get moving again! Read Go For It! Sometimes It's Easier If You Run, filled with tips and techniques for putting zing into your work life. Order Now!

Pay It Forward (DVD)Pay It Forward (DVD)For a fascinating exploration of returning help to somebody else, read Pay It Forward, by Catherine Ryan Hyde (Simon and Schuster, 2000). Or see the film, with Kevin Spacey, Helen Hunt, and Haley Joel Osment, and directed by Mimi Leder.

Your comments are welcome

Would you like to see your comments posted here? rbrenZLkFdSHmlHvCaSsuner@ChacbnsTPttsdDaRAswloCanyon.comSend me your comments by email, or by Web form.

About Point Lookout

Thank you for reading this article. I hope you enjoyed it and found it useful, and that you'll consider recommending it to a friend.

Point Lookout is a free weekly email newsletter. Browse the archive of past issues. Subscribe for free.

Support Point Lookout by joining the Friends of Point Lookout, as an individual or as an organization.

Do you face a complex interpersonal situation? Send it in, anonymously if you like, and I'll give you my two cents.

Related articles

More articles on Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness:

Don't rely solely on your spell checkerEmail Antics: III
Nearly everyone complains that email is a time waster. Yet much of the problem results from our own actions. Here's Part III of a little catalog of things we do that help waste our time.
The Agua Clara Locks of the New Panama Canal, showing their guide wallsIn the Groove
Under stress, we sometimes make choices that we later regret. And we wonder, "Will I ever learn?" Fortunately, the problem usually isn't a failure to learn. Changing just takes practice.
A can of sardines — what many of us feel like on board a modern airlinerChanging the Subject: I
Whether in small group discussions, large meetings, or chats between friends, changing the subject of the conversation can be constructive, mischievous, frustrating, creative, tension relieving, necessary, devious, or outright malicious. What techniques do we use to change the subject, and how can we cope with them?
Soldiers of IX Engineering Command, U.S. Army Air Force, putting down a Pierced Steel Planking (PSP) Runway at an Advanced Landing Ground under construction somewhere in France following the Normandy Landings of World War IIManagement Debt: I
Management debt, like technical debt, arises when we choose paths — usually the lowest-cost paths — that lead to recurring costs that are typically higher than alternatives. Why do we take on management debt? How can we pay it down?
North Fork Fire in Yellowstone, 1988The Risks of Too Many Projects: II
Although taking on too many projects risks defocusing the organization, the problems just begin there. Here are three more ways over-commitment causes organizations to waste resources or lose opportunities.

See also Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness and Project Management for more related articles.

Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout

A form of off road driving also known as mud boggingComing November 30: Avoiding Speed Bumps: II
Many of the difficulties we encounter when working together don't create long-term harm, but they do cause delays, confusion, and frustration. Here's Part II of a little catalog of tactics for avoiding speed bumps. Available here and by RSS on November 30.
Tuckman's stages of group developmentAnd on December 7: Reaching Agreements in Technological Contexts
Reaching consensus in technological contexts presents special challenges. Problems can arise from interactions between the technological elements of the issue at hand, and the social dynamics of the group addressing that issue. Here are three examples. Available here and by RSS on December 7.

Coaching services

I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact Rick for details at rbrenZLkFdSHmlHvCaSsuner@ChacbnsTPttsdDaRAswloCanyon.com or (650) 787-6475, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.

Get the ebook!

Past issues of Point Lookout are available in six ebooks:

Reprinting this article

Are you a writer, editor or publisher on deadline? Are you looking for an article that will get people talking and get compliments flying your way? You can have 500-1000 words in your inbox in one hour. License any article from this Web site. More info

Follow Rick

Send email or subscribe to one of my newsletters Follow me at LinkedIn Follow me at Twitter, or share a tweet Subscribe to RSS feeds Subscribe to RSS feeds
The message of Point Lookout is unique. Help get the message out. Please donate to help keep Point Lookout available for free to everyone.
Technical Debt for Policymakers BlogMy blog, Technical Debt for Policymakers, offers resources, insights, and conversations of interest to policymakers who are concerned with managing technical debt within their organizations. Get the millstone of technical debt off the neck of your organization!
Go For It: Sometimes It's Easier If You RunBad boss, long commute, troubling ethical questions, hateful colleague? Learn what we can do when we love the work but not the job.
303 Tips for Virtual and Global TeamsLearn how to make your virtual global team sing.
101 Tips for Managing ChangeAre you managing a change effort that faces rampant cynicism, passive non-cooperation, or maybe even outright revolt?
101 Tips for Effective MeetingsLearn how to make meetings more productive — and more rare.
Exchange your "personal trade secrets" — the tips, tricks and techniques that make you an ace — with other aces, anonymously. Visit the Library of Personal Trade Secrets.
If your teams don't yet consistently achieve state-of-the-art teamwork, check out this catalog. Help is just a few clicks/taps away!
Ebooks, booklets and tip books on project management, conflict, writing email, effective meetings and more.