My Right Foot

Earlier this year, I broke the fifth metatarsal of my right foot. It was just a crack, and it mended itself nicely. I've already stowed in the back of a closet what I've come to call my "first cane," and soon I'll resume running.

But I learned some things from this experience — things that apply to more of life than just breaking a bone in your foot. Here are four insights that might help people who lead teams or manage projects.

When you sense trouble, pay attention

For a week before my foot finally gave out, it hurt. I ignored it. I should have seen a doctor. I didn't, and the bone finally cracked.

It's a lot easier to stay out of trouble than to get out of trouble. When you notice signs of trouble in a project or in a team, find out what's going on. Don't let trouble simmer. It will only come to a boil. See "Some Things I've Learned Along the Way," Point Lookout for October 19, 2005.

Ask for help

I needed help for the little tasks in life that I normally do for myself. Some help came from friends and acquaintances; some came from paid services. But very little came without my seeking it or accepting that I needed it.

It's OK to ask for help. It's OK to take your time, if you need to, when people around you are in a hurry. If you need something to get the job done, ask for it. See "Help for Asking for Help," Point Lookout for December 10, 2003, for more about asking for help.

Some people might decline your request for help

It's OK to
ask for help.
It's OK to
take your time.

Some of the people I asked for help didn't provide it.

Remember that when you ask for help, you're only asking, and the people you ask can decline, or offer something different from what you asked for. Prepare yourself for answers other than "yes." You might get a counter offer that could work, or you might get a flat "no." If that happens, you have to deal with that, too.

Some help isn't help

Some people, trying to help, actually make things more difficult. For instance, they hold open doors that stay open by themselves, and in doing so, they narrow the passageway.

Know how to handle help that isn't really help. It might be necessary to explain why adding staff doesn't make the project go faster, or why some people are just the wrong people for the work to be done. Be clear.

Most important, remember that some help is difficult to repay. Real help requires that you know of a need, that the person in need agrees about the need, that you have permission to help, and that you be able to help. Those four factors must all be present, and if they aren't, you might not be able to return the favor. If you can return a favor, fine. But don't wait too long for the chance — "return" it to somebody else.  Top    Next Issue

Love the work but not the job? Bad boss, long commute, troubling ethical questions, hateful colleague? This ebook looks at what we can do to get more out of life at work. It helps you get moving again! Read Go For It! Sometimes It's Easier If You Run, filled with tips and techniques for putting zing into your work life. Order Now!

For a fascinating exploration of returning help to somebody else, read Pay It Forward, by Catherine Ryan Hyde (Simon and Schuster, 2000). Or see the film, with Kevin Spacey, Helen Hunt, and Haley Joel Osment, and directed by Mimi Leder.

Your comments are welcome

About Point Lookout

Thank you for reading this article. I hope you enjoyed it and found it useful, and that you'll consider recommending it to a friend.

This article in its entirety was written by a human being. No machine intelligence was involved in any way.

Point Lookout is a free weekly email newsletter. Browse the archive of past issues. Subscribe for free.

Support Point Lookout by joining the Friends of Point Lookout, as an individual or as an organization.

Do you face a complex interpersonal situation? Send it in, anonymously if you like, and I'll give you my two cents.

Related articles

More articles on Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness:

Keep a Not-To-Do List

Unless you execute all your action items immediately, they probably end up on your To-Do list. Since they're a source of stress, you'll feel better if you can find a way to avoid acquiring them. Having a Not-To-Do list reminds you that some things are really not your problem.

Organizational Firefighting

Sometimes companies or projects get into trouble, and "fires" erupt one after another. When this happens, we say we're in "firefighting" mode. But it's more than a metaphor — we have a lot to learn from wildland firefighters.

Achieving Goals: Inspiring Passion and Action

Achieving your goals requires both passion and action. Knowing when to emphasize passion and when to emphasize action are the keys to managing yourself, or others, toward achievement.

Towards More Gracious Disagreement

We spend a sizable chunk of time correcting each other. Some believe that we win points by being right, or lose points by being wrong, but nobody seems to know who keeps the official score. Here are some thoughts to help you kick the habit.

Risk Management Risk: I

Risk Management Risk is the risk that a particular risk management plan is deficient. It's often overlooked, and therefore often unmitigated. We can reduce this risk by applying some simple procedures.

See also Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness and Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness for more related articles.

Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout

Coming April 2: Mitigating the Trauma of Being Laid Off

Trauma is an emotional response to horrible events — accidents, crimes, disasters, physical abuse, emotional abuse, gross injustices — and layoffs. Layoff trauma is real. Employers know how to execute layoffs with compassion, but some act out of cruelty. Know how to defend yourself. Available here and by RSS on April 2.

And on April 9: Defining Workplace Bullying

When we set out to control the incidence of workplace bullying, problem number one is defining bullying behavior. We know much more about bullying in children than we do about adult bullying, and more about adult bullying than we know about workplace bullying. Available here and by RSS on April 9.

Coaching services

I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact Rick for details at rbrenner@ChacoCanyon.com or (650) 787-6475, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.

Get the ebook!

Past issues of Point Lookout are available in six ebooks:

• Get 2001-2 in Geese Don't Land on Twigs (PDF, USD 11.95)
• Get 2003-4 in Why Dogs Wag (PDF, USD 11.95)
• Get 2005-6 in Loopy Things We Do (PDF, USD 11.95)
• Get 2007-8 in Things We Believe That Maybe Aren't So True (PDF, USD 11.95)
• Get 2009-10 in The Questions Not Asked (PDF, USD 11.95)
• Get all of the first twelve years (2001-2012) in The Collected Issues of Point Lookout (PDF, USD 28.99)

Are you a writer, editor or publisher on deadline? Are you looking for an article that will get people talking and get compliments flying your way? You can have 500-1000 words in your inbox in one hour. License any article from this Web site. More info