How to Ruin Meetings

Surveying the literature about meetings, it's easy to find advice for running effective meetings. I therefore determined that the market for running ineffective meetings is underserved, and I now offer this humble contribution to that neglected field of study.

Probably the most effective way to make meetings ineffective is to take the discussion off track. If you're chairing the meeting, taking the discussion off track is so easy that there's little new I can offer. But if you're just a meeting participant, you're far from powerless.

There are three keys to taking a discussion off track:

• Know that you have personal responsibility. If the meeting is on track, it's your own fault.
• Know that you have personal power. Everyone else secretly wants to get off track — all they need is a little nudge.
• Know where the track is. You can take a meeting off track much more easily if you know what topics are on track. Pay attention.

With all this in mind, here are some tried-and-true techniques for getting meetings off track.

Object to the agenda

Since many meeting chairs now seek agenda consensus at the beginning of the meeting, don't object to the agenda then. That would be on-topic. Instead, wait. Raise your objection right in the middle of one of the agenda items. You can object to discussing this item now, or discussing this item ever. Or you can insist that before we discuss this item, we must discuss something not yet on the agenda. The possibilities are limitless.

Dispute the way we discuss whatever we discuss

If you If you can't derail a topic altogether,
then dispute the approach the meeting
is taking to discussing the topiccan't derail a topic altogether, then dispute the approach the meeting is taking to discussing the topic. If they're discussing the advantages of mowing the lawn north-to-south compared to south-to-north, throw in the idea of mowing east-to-west. Or mowing less frequently, or replacing the lawn with a rock garden.

Outshine everyone

Whenever anyone else is getting close to demonstrating that they know something about anything, take the opportunity to demonstrate that you know more than they do, or that whatever they might have been thinking of saying will be wrong.

Misrepresent other people's contributions

After Mr. Peabody presents proposals based on data showing that the new product line is outperforming the old, you can start by saying, "I agree with Mr. Peabody that the new product line is underperforming,…" Suddenly the discussion will shift from exploring Peabody's proposals to debating the meaning of Peabody's data. Digging their way out of that hole could take hours.

Attack, Attack, Attack

Nothing gets people going like a good old-fashioned ad hominem attack. Instead of critiquing the points people make, critique their personal integrity, their right to be in the meeting, or their humanity. Degrade others at every opportunity. See "Mudfights," Point Lookout for April 14, 2004 for more.

You get the idea. I won't take any more of your precious time. Now get out there and ruin some meetings.  Top    Next Issue

Do you spend your days scurrying from meeting to meeting? Do you ever wonder if all these meetings are really necessary? (They aren't) Or whether there isn't some better way to get this work done? (There is) Read 101 Tips for Effective Meetings to learn how to make meetings much more productive and less stressful — and a lot more rare. Order Now!

Your comments are welcome

About Point Lookout

Thank you for reading this article. I hope you enjoyed it and found it useful, and that you'll consider recommending it to a friend.

This article in its entirety was written by a human being. No machine intelligence was involved in any way.

Point Lookout is a free weekly email newsletter. Browse the archive of past issues. Subscribe for free.

Support Point Lookout by joining the Friends of Point Lookout, as an individual or as an organization.

Do you face a complex interpersonal situation? Send it in, anonymously if you like, and I'll give you my two cents.

Related articles

More articles on Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness:

Dealing with Deadlock

At times it seems that nothing works. Whenever we try to get moving, we encounter obstacles. If we try to go around them, we find more obstacles. How do we get stuck? And how can we get unstuck?

Trying to Do It Right the First Time Isn't Always Best

You've probably heard the slogan, "Do it right the first time." It makes sense for some kinds of work, but not for all. For more and more of the work done in modern organizations, doing it right the first time — or even trying to — might be the wrong way to go.

Towards More Gracious Disagreement

We spend a sizable chunk of time correcting each other. Some believe that we win points by being right, or lose points by being wrong, but nobody seems to know who keeps the official score. Here are some thoughts to help you kick the habit.

Preventing Sidebars

Sidebar conversations between meeting participants waste time and reduce meeting effectiveness. How can we prevent them?

Disjoint Awareness: Systematics

Organizations use some policies and processes that can cause people in collaborations to have inaccurate understandings of what each other is doing. Performance management, politics, and resource allocation processes can all contribute to disjoint awareness.

See also Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness and Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness for more related articles.

Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout

Coming December 11: White Water Rafting as a Metaphor for Group Development

Tuckman's model of small group development, best known as "Forming-Storming-Norming-Performing," applies better to development of some groups than to others. We can use a metaphor to explore how the model applies to Storming in task-oriented work groups. Available here and by RSS on December 11.

And on December 18: Subgrouping and Conway's Law

When task-oriented work groups address complex tasks, they might form subgroups to address subtasks. The structure of the subgroups and the order in which they form depend on the structure of the group's task and the sequencing of the subtasks. Available here and by RSS on December 18.

Coaching services

I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact Rick for details at rbrenyrWpTxHuyCrjZbUpner@ChacnoFNuSyWlVzCaGfooCanyon.com or (650) 787-6475, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.

Get the ebook!

Past issues of Point Lookout are available in six ebooks:

• Get 2001-2 in Geese Don't Land on Twigs (PDF, )
• Get 2003-4 in Why Dogs Wag (PDF, )
• Get 2005-6 in Loopy Things We Do (PDF, )
• Get 2007-8 in Things We Believe That Maybe Aren't So True (PDF, )
• Get 2009-10 in The Questions Not Asked (PDF, )
• Get all of the first twelve years (2001-2012) in The Collected Issues of Point Lookout (PDF, )

Are you a writer, editor or publisher on deadline? Are you looking for an article that will get people talking and get compliments flying your way? You can have 500-1000 words in your inbox in one hour. License any article from this Web site. More info