The Major Annoyance of Mini-Digressions

In meetings, a digression is a deviation from the immediate objective. When everyone in attendance slips into the digression, and someone points out the slip, the group self-consciously returns to the task, perhaps chastened and embarrassed, but usually more focused and alert. There's another kind of digression that can lead to hard feelings and unpleasantness, especially if it's a pattern made familiar by one or more repeat offenders: the mini-digression.

Examples of mini-digressions

Mini-digressions slow the meeting's forward progress in ways both obvious and subtle, both direct and indirect. They happen in meetings or conversations when the contributor is making a point but repeatedly digresses in short comments usually irrelevant to that point. For example, in describing how Inman Square in Cambridge, Massachusetts, has evolved since 1970, the mural on an exterior wall of the fire station might be a point of interest. But talking about the amount of fading of the colors of the pigments would be getting a bit far afield.

Here's a Mini-digressions can lead to hard
feelings and unpleasantness,
especially if they're part of a
pattern made familiar by
one or more repeat offendersmore common example of a series of mini-digressions leading up to a comment about security procedures in an office building: "As I was entering the building this morning, I waved hello to the security guard, Geoffrey, whom you all know well, and he waved back at me and congratulated me again on our move to our new house in Springfield, which amazed me because how many people does he see in a day? How many people work in this building would you say? 500? More? Anyway, what was I saying…"

Yikes.

Signs you might have engaged in a mini-digression

If you find yourself saying "anyway, what I'm saying is" or, "where was I going with this," then it's possible that a mini-digression was underway. There are numerous other indicators. For example, if people interrupt you to prompt you by saying "And…" or, "Get to the point…" they might be simply impatient. Or you might have exhausted their patience with your mini-digressions.

Still more indicators:

• You suddenly realize you've lost your train of thought and can't find it again
• People in meetings "check out" when you speak
• People rarely follow up with a point you've made, and rarely ask for more detail

Common patterns of coping with mini-digressions

In my experience, the most common coping pattern seems to be quietly waiting for the digressor to stop talking. This pattern is difficult to distinguish from another pattern, commonly called "checking out." People who check out are still in attendance, but they're no longer paying attention. They read email, send or receive texts, or goodness knows what else, maybe update their Facebook pages. Waiting and checking out are two patterns on the more passive end of the coping pattern spectrum.

There are also patterns at the more active end of that spectrum. Interrupting the digressor is quite popular. Examples:

• Yes, yes, we know that, what's your point?
• We've got a long agenda today, can you please just skip to the main point?
• To the Chair: Grace, can we take this off line and now please just move on?

Among the more toxic coping patterns are those rooted in anger and frustration. Relationships between the digressor and numerous others might deteriorate. People might hold the digressor responsible for the frustratingly slow progress of the meetings. They might complain to each other about him or her, and speculate about why the meeting Chair tolerates the digressor's behavior.

How meeting chairs cope with mini-digressions

Although the Chair of the meeting has all of the coping options mentioned above, there are additional options not available to others. For example, in many meetings, the Chair has more freedom to interrupt with less risk of seeming to be rude. A typical such interruption might be, "Excuse me Harrison, can you just give us a quick summary?"

In small meetings, where contributions are often self-regulated, the Chair might have less control of who speaks and for how long. But in meetings of five or more, the Chair might have more control. Chairs can use that control to limit repeat digressors' opportunities to speak.

An example of the Chair's more direct exercise of control of the meeting is control of the attendance list and agenda. By limiting the portions of the agenda in which repeat digressors might have opportunities to speak, Chairs can reduce their impact on meeting progress.

A more striking example of the Chair's use of social power is direct, private intervention to address the digressor's behavior as a performance issue. [Brenner 2017] In many organizational contexts, the Chair can request a private meeting with the repeat digressor to provide commentary about the digressor's performance. If that isn't possible — as when the digressor outranks the Chair — the Chair can report the issue to the digressor's supervisor, or to the Chair's own supervisor, seeking advice or assistance.

How to avoid mini-digressing

Four simple steps can help you get control of your own mini-digressions:

Review your past contributions

Examine your past contributions to meeting discussion in a search for content not relevant to your point. Do people interrupt you, urging you to get to the point? Do you lose your own train of thought?

Know the point you are trying to make

Before you speak, know the main point you want to make. And keep it to a single point. Trying to make three points in one go risks confusing everyone, including yourself.

Deliver the headline first

Don't keep people in suspense. Give the headline first. [Brenner 2006] If you express yourself clearly enough, you might not need to say anything more.

Offer details after delivering the headline

Instead of jumping right into the details or background of the headline you just delivered, offer to do so: "I can explain a bit if you like." Or, "I can give background on that if people think it would be helpful." Avoiding the word detail is usually a good idea.

Last words

The true cost of mini-digressions can be both easily overlooked and very high indeed. It appears in the form of broken relationships, isolation of the digressor, and loss of access to the digressor's potential to make valuable contributions. Meetings can lose value as more attendees check out when insistent digressors consume valuable meeting time. And digressors can confuse misdirected coping with rejection of their contributions. Most expensive of all: loss of respect for a Chair who seems unwilling or unable to attend to the problem.  Top    Next Issue

Do you spend your days scurrying from meeting to meeting? Do you ever wonder if all these meetings are really necessary? (They aren't) Or whether there isn't some better way to get this work done? (There is) Read 101 Tips for Effective Meetings to learn how to make meetings much more productive and less stressful — and a lot more rare. Order Now!

Footnotes

Your comments are welcome

About Point Lookout

Thank you for reading this article. I hope you enjoyed it and found it useful, and that you'll consider recommending it to a friend.

This article in its entirety was written by a human being. No machine intelligence was involved in any way.

Point Lookout is a free weekly email newsletter. Browse the archive of past issues. Subscribe for free.

Support Point Lookout by joining the Friends of Point Lookout, as an individual or as an organization.

Do you face a complex interpersonal situation? Send it in, anonymously if you like, and I'll give you my two cents.

Related articles

More articles on Effective Communication at Work:

Begging the Question

Begging the question is a common, usually undetected, rhetorical fallacy. It leads to unsupported conclusions and painful places we just can't live with. What can we do when it happens?

Interviewing the Willing: Strategy

At times, we need information from each other. For example, we want to learn about how someone approached a similar problem, or we must interview someone about system requirements. Yet, even when the source is willing, we sometimes fail to expose critical facts. How can we elicit information from the willing more effectively?

Anticipate Counter-Communication

Effective communication enables two parties to collaborate. Counter-communication is information provided by a third party that contradicts the basis of agreements or undermines that collaboration.

Chronic Peer Interrupters: II

People use a variety of tactics when they're interrupted while making contributions in meetings. Some tactics work well, while others carry risks of their own. Here's Part II of a little survey of those tactics.

Straw Man Variants

The Straw Man fallacy is a famous rhetorical fallacy. Using it distorts debate and can lead groups to reach faulty conclusions. It's readily recognized, but it has some variants that are more difficult to spot. When unnoticed, trouble looms.

See also Effective Communication at Work and Effective Communication at Work for more related articles.

Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout

Coming September 4: Beating the Layoffs: I

If you work in an organization likely to conduct layoffs soon, keep in mind that exiting voluntarily before the layoffs can carry significant advantages. Here are some that relate to self-esteem, financial anxiety, and future employment. Available here and by RSS on September 4.

And on September 11: Beating the Layoffs: II

If you work in an organization likely to conduct layoffs soon, keep in mind that exiting voluntarily can carry advantages. Here are some advantages that relate to collegial relationships, future interviews, health, and severance packages. Available here and by RSS on September 11.

Coaching services

I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact Rick for details at rbrenyrWpTxHuyCrjZbUpner@ChacnoFNuSyWlVzCaGfooCanyon.com or (650) 787-6475, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.

Get the ebook!

Past issues of Point Lookout are available in six ebooks:

• Get 2001-2 in Geese Don't Land on Twigs (PDF, )
• Get 2003-4 in Why Dogs Wag (PDF, )
• Get 2005-6 in Loopy Things We Do (PDF, )
• Get 2007-8 in Things We Believe That Maybe Aren't So True (PDF, )
• Get 2009-10 in The Questions Not Asked (PDF, )
• Get all of the first twelve years (2001-2012) in The Collected Issues of Point Lookout (PDF, )

Are you a writer, editor or publisher on deadline? Are you looking for an article that will get people talking and get compliments flying your way? You can have 500-1000 words in your inbox in one hour. License any article from this Web site. More info