Disagreement is a difference between facts, opinions, preferences, or ideas. For example, I might advocate splitting our team of 24 people into three teams — one of six, and two of nine. If you then advocate splitting our team into three teams of eight, we have a disagreement. When we encounter disagreements at work, we usually resolve them without weaponry or bloodshed. We can do this by employing an array of cultural tools and customs, many of which are so natural that they're outside our awareness.
Most of those tools and customs arose or were designed for face-to-face interactions. But in today's largely virtual work environments these cultural tools and customs don't work as well as they do in face-to-face contexts. Some of us — not all of us — have learned and adopted new ways that are effective in many situations that arise in virtual meetings.
But there are no guarantees. We can still get into trouble, even though everyone involved might be trying their best to make their points in a civil manner. There are some less-than-obvious ways to help groups reach resolutions even though strains have started to appear. Here are a few of the less-frequently mentioned techniques for virtual meetings.
- Leave space for someone else to make that point
- Leaving space for others to comment or raise questions can sometimes bring about the careful thought that leads to durable decisions. This technique is especially likely to produce welcome results when the issue at hand hasn't been as carefully studied as might be necessary.
- Wait for others to express disagreement
- When one person There are some less-than-obvious ways
to help groups reach resolutions even
though strains have started to appearraises all the issues relative to the proposal under consideration, there is a risk that such dissent might appear to be motivated by a political agenda or personal animus. Allowing others to raise questions or concerns can sometimes mitigate that risk. - Don't assume that the disagreement has a firm foundation
- When parties engage in a debate about an issue, they tend to assume that they themselves understand the issue well. And they attribute the difference in viewpoints to distortions in others' perceptions, due to their ignorance, false beliefs, irrationality, or biases. This phenomenon is known as naïve realism. Three assumptions more likely to be valid are that (a) everyone grasps some of the truth, (b) everyone is misled or confused in some respects, and (c) nobody has a complete and clear-eyed view the entire situation.
- Address misinformation and disinformation proactively
- Misinformation is false information that arrives by chance and error; disinformation is false information intentionally and knowingly distributed. Although naïve realism is an actual phenomenon, people do sometimes make erroneous judgments based on false information, by whatever path it arrives. If false information is in the air, address it directly and proactively. Arguing with its victims after the damage is done is far less effective.
- Allow for political pressures
- Some people, in some situations, adopt the views they have because of coercion applied by someone with superior political power. To conceal the facts of their circumstances, they devise complex "arguments" to justify their views. Engaging in debate with people so entangled is unlikely to yield the desired results. Political problems must be solved politically.
Most important, understand the online disinhibition effect. [Suler 2004] Briefly, the environment of the Internet and other interactive media contributes to relaxation of inhibitions that suppress antisocial behavior. When things get out of hand, the environment might have played a starring role. To regard any of the people involved as "out of control" might not be correct. Ironically, telling them so might itself be an example of the online disinhibition effect. Top Next Issue
Are you fed up with tense, explosive meetings? Are you or a colleague the target of a bully? Destructive conflict can ruin organizations. But if we believe that all conflict is destructive, and that we can somehow eliminate conflict, or that conflict is an enemy of productivity, then we're in conflict with Conflict itself. Read 101 Tips for Managing Conflict to learn how to make peace with conflict and make it an organizational asset. Order Now!
Footnotes
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Related articles
More articles on Conflict Management:
- Handling Heat: II
- Heated exchanges in meetings can compromise both the organizational mission and the careers of the meeting's
participants. Here are some tactics for people who aren't chairing the meeting.
- So You Want the Bullying to End: I
- If you're the target of a workplace bully, you probably want the bullying to end. If you've ever been
the target of a workplace bully, you probably remember wanting it to end. But how it ends can be more
important than whether or when it ends.
- Historical Debates at Work
- One obstacle to high performance in teams is the historical debate — arguing about who said what
and when, or who agreed to what and when. Here are suggestions for ending and preventing historical debates.
- Newly Virtual Politics: Choices
- Pandemic or not, workplace politics marches on, though politics might take slightly different forms
in a pandemic. Those different forms make new choices available, and render some formerly effective
choices ineffective.
- Covert Verbal Abuse at Work
- Verbal abuse at work uses written or spoken language to disparage, disadvantage, or harm others. Perpetrators
favor tactics they can subsequently deny having used. Even more favored are abusive tactics that are
so subtle that others don't notice them.
See also Conflict Management and Conflict Management for more related articles.
Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout
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- The Storming stage of Tuckman's development sequence for small groups is when the group explores its frustrations and degrees of disagreement about both structure and task. Only by understanding these misalignments is reaching alignment possible. Here is a framework for this exploration. Available here and by RSS on January 29.
- And on February 5: On Shaking Things Up
- Newcomers to work groups have three tasks: to meet and get to know incumbent group members; to gain their trust; and to learn about the group's task and how to contribute to accomplishing it. General skills are necessary, but specifics are most important. Available here and by RSS on February 5.
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