Avoiding Speed Bumps: I

Every day, and possibly many times each day, we encounter situations in which we can choose how we respond. Often, we make the choice that seems to lead to the shortest path to our preferred outcome. Unfortunately, many of these paths have obstacles along the way that become evident only when we encounter them. In analogy to driving a car or a scooter or a motorcycle, or riding a bicycle, we choose paths that have speed bumps. Speed bumps are most noticeable when we've already driven over them. Too late then for slowing down to do any good.

The good news is that many speed bumps are avoidable, with just a little care. This post is the beginning of a little catalog of choices that might lead to better outcomes if we watch for speed bumps.

Notify me either way

It's risky to arrange with others to notify you (by text or voice) if X occurs, or not to notify you at all if Y occurs. Instead, arrange for them to notify you either way.

One problem with no-notification-if-Y is that no notification is indistinguishable from other ways you could fail to be notified. For example, the notification text or email might not go through. Or your partner might have forgotten to tell you that X occurred. Or you might have forgotten to check your messages. Or a million other things.

Have your partner notify you either way. Much safer.

Make semi-permanent notes

Important but tiny bits of information come our way all day. We commit most of them to memory — call home, send that text to Rudy in the Cleveland office, jump through this or that hoop, and so on. We commit them to memory, but our memory isn't always as good as we need it to be. We err so often that the phrases "fell through the cracks," and "dropped the ball," are familiar.

Instead of Speed bumps are most noticeable when
we've already driven over them. Too late
then for slowing down to do any good.trying to remember these numerous tiny bits of information, write them down. Key them or voice them into the notes app on your smartphone if you're fast enough. If not, write them on actual paper with an actual pen. Although a written record is more reliable than memory, you can still commit them to memory if you like. I like spiral notebooks for this purpose — steno size at my desk, or small cards when I'm moving about.

Another advantage of committing this information to writing is that you're creating a record. You can review that record later if you need to, to resolve a mix-up, or to confirm that you did or didn't do something. And you can use the data to improve your personal process by learning to anticipate error-generating patterns that might otherwise escape notice.

Wait

Doing nothing, at least for now, is an often-overlooked choice. Letting the situation evolve by leaving space for others to act can change things enough to open new paths forward that you might not have recognized. Or worse, your own action might have obscured paths that would have been revealed if you had waited.

Waiting is an especially powerful move when you sense that the situation could evolve into something for which you have in mind a very workable response.

"I agree"

Use this simple statement to avoid several other troublesome approaches to expressing agreement. The troubled ones go something like, "Correct," or "That's right," or "True," or "100% correct." The problem with these ways of expressing agreement is that they do much more than express agreement. They also claim that in the context of the present discussion the speaker has authority to adjudicate Truth. They place the speaker in the position of evaluating the opinion of the speaker's partner. To the speaker's partner, this can feel like a usurpation of authority for the purpose of evaluating the personhood of others.

Sometimes we say, "Correct" to avoid the ambiguity of "Right," a word that we also use for direction, as in left/right. That's an example of the language causing us to make an innocent choice that has unfortunate consequences. Sigh.

A simple "I agree" will suffice.

These are four tactics that cost nothing or almost nothing. Yet they can produce dramatic savings. They have an enormous return on investment. More coming next time.   Next issue in this series   Top    Next Issue

Is every other day a tense, anxious, angry misery as you watch people around you, who couldn't even think their way through a game of Jacks, win at workplace politics and steal the credit and glory for just about everyone's best work including yours? Read 303 Secrets of Workplace Politics, filled with tips and techniques for succeeding in workplace politics. More info

Your comments are welcome

About Point Lookout

Thank you for reading this article. I hope you enjoyed it and found it useful, and that you'll consider recommending it to a friend.

This article in its entirety was written by a human being. No machine intelligence was involved in any way.

Point Lookout is a free weekly email newsletter. Browse the archive of past issues. Subscribe for free.

Support Point Lookout by joining the Friends of Point Lookout, as an individual or as an organization.

Do you face a complex interpersonal situation? Send it in, anonymously if you like, and I'll give you my two cents.

Related articles

More articles on Effective Communication at Work:

Responding to Rumors

Have you ever heard nasty rumors about yourself? When rumors are damaging, they can hurt our careers, our self-esteem, and even our health. Sadly, our response to rumors often compounds the serious damage they do.

Irrational Self-Interest

When we try to influence others, especially large groups or entire companies, we sometimes create packages of incentives and disincentives that are intended to affect behavior. These strategies usually assume that people make choices on rational grounds. Is this assumption valid?

That Was a Yes-or-No Question: II

When, in the presence of others, someone asks you "a simple yes or no" question, beware. Chances are that you're confronting a trap. Here's Part II of a set of suggestions for dealing with the yes-or-no trap.

Columbo Strategy

A late 20th-century television detective named Columbo had a unique approach to cracking murder cases. His method is just as effective at work when the less powerful must deal with the powerful.

Red Flags: II

When we find clear evidence of serious problems in a project or other collaboration, we sometimes realize that we had overlooked several "red flags" that had foretold trouble. In this Part II of our review of red flags, we consider communication patterns that are useful indicators of future problems.

See also Effective Communication at Work and Workplace Politics for more related articles.

Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout

Coming July 3: Additive bias…or Not: II

Additive bias is a cognitive bias that many believe contributes to bloat of commercial products. When we change products to make them more capable, additive bias might not play a role, because economic considerations sometimes favor additive approaches. Available here and by RSS on July 3.

And on July 10: On Delegating Accountability: I

As the saying goes, "You can't delegate your own accountability." Despite wide knowledge of this aphorism, people try it from time to time, especially when overcome by the temptation of a high-risk decision. What can you delegate, and how can you do it? Available here and by RSS on July 10.

Coaching services

I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact Rick for details at rbrendPtoGuFOkTSMQOzxner@ChacEgGqaylUnkmwIkkwoCanyon.com or (650) 787-6475, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.

Get the ebook!

Past issues of Point Lookout are available in six ebooks:

• Get 2001-2 in Geese Don't Land on Twigs (PDF, )
• Get 2003-4 in Why Dogs Wag (PDF, )
• Get 2005-6 in Loopy Things We Do (PDF, )
• Get 2007-8 in Things We Believe That Maybe Aren't So True (PDF, )
• Get 2009-10 in The Questions Not Asked (PDF, )
• Get all of the first twelve years (2001-2012) in The Collected Issues of Point Lookout (PDF, )

Are you a writer, editor or publisher on deadline? Are you looking for an article that will get people talking and get compliments flying your way? You can have 500-1000 words in your inbox in one hour. License any article from this Web site. More info