
A tensile failure of a bottom chord in a covered bridge. For many of us, the word balance brings to mind a pan balance. We put so much "work" in one pan, and we balance it with so much "life" in the other pan. Pan balances, such as the one held by Lady Justice, suspend the two pans from a cross beam. That beam, like all beams, must bear the total weight of both pans and their contents. And that beam, like all beams, will break if the weight it must bear is heavy enough. Balance is thus not the only matter of concern. Photo courtesy the Federal Highway Administration of the U.S. Department of Transportation.
For about twenty years, the problem of "work life balance" has been very fashionable. Briefly, some of us at times are so seduced by work that our personal lives suffer. We devote too much of ourselves to work and working, and too little to building and maintaining relationships with friends, loved ones, and ourselves.
Although I agree generally with the goal of the "work life balance" movement, I'm uncomfortable with the subtle message we send ourselves when we use the metaphor "work life balance."
Word choices can convey subtle messages that can distort our view of the world. Consider, for example, the word mother as a verb. In U.S. English, when we think of mothering, most of us think first of looking after, caring for, protecting, or nurturing. Mothering connotes an ongoing process that is fundamental to the relationship between a female and her offspring, or her adopted offspring. More rarely, mothering can denote the process of giving birth.
Now consider the word fathering. To most of us, what comes to mind first is begetting offspring, or creating, founding, or establishing something. Fathering usually connotes an act of procreation or creation. More rarely, fathering connotes the process of acting as a father to somebody, by providing, protecting, or giving advice.
Both mothering and fathering can connote acts of creation or relationship. But in their usage these two words couldn't be more different. Those who seek to change the family roles of mother and father must contend with the subtle messages conveyed by our language. It isn't a small problem.
So it is with the term "Work Life Balance," which carries with it two very serious problems.
- Work and Life are inseparable
- Contrary to fact, the term presumes that Work and Life are separable. They are not. We might not like the work we do, and we might be planning a change, but whatever the Work, it's part of Life.
- Seeing our work as Contrary to fact, the term
Work Life Balance presumes
that Work and Life
are separablepart of our lives is essential if we want to make conscious choices about how we live our lives. - Balance implies an impossible metric
- Balancing two things requires a one-dimensional metric by which we measure them both. But there's no such metric for "work" and "life," even if we concede that they're separable (which they are not — see above). Measuring them in hours or even waking hours won't do, because the quality of time spent with loved ones can be more important than the quantity.
- We cannot measure Work or Life. Instead, focus on what matters most: the health of relationships with loved ones. If those relationships aren't right, what else matters?
Even if Work and Life were separable, and even if we could find a way to "balance" them, the question of total load remains. Any beam, if overloaded, even in a balanced way, will fracture. The Work Life Balance metaphor says nothing about that. Top
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For more about metaphors, see "Metaphors and Their Abuses."
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Related articles
More articles on Emotions at Work:
The Tweaking CC
- When did you last receive an email message with a "tweaking CC"? Probably yesterday. A tweaking
CC is usually a CC to your boss or possibly the entire known universe, designed to create pressure by
exposing embarrassing information.
The Unappreciative Boss
- Do you work for a boss who doesn't appreciate you? Do you feel ignored or excessively criticized? If
you do, life can be a misery, if you make it so. Or you can work around it. It's up to you to choose.
When You Can't Even Think About It
- Some problems are so difficult or scary that we can't even think about how to face them. Until we can
think, action is not a good idea. How can we engage our brains for the really scary problems?
Confirmation Bias: Workplace Consequences Part II
- We continue our exploration of confirmation bias. In this Part II, we explore its effects in management
processes.
On Differences and Disagreements
- When we disagree, it helps to remember that our differences often seem more marked than they really
are. Here are some hints for finding a path back to agreement.
See also Emotions at Work and Effective Communication at Work for more related articles.
Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout
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And on April 28: The Self-Explanation Effect
- In the learning context, self-explanation is the act of explaining to oneself what one is learning. Self-explanation has been shown to increase the rate of acquiring mastery. The mystery is why we don't structure knowledge work to exploit this phenomenon. Available here and by RSS on April 28.
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