Express Your Appreciation and Trust

Don showed up at 11:40, on the dot. No surprise there. "Ready?" he asked. Staring intently at her screen, Pat replied, "Yeah, just have to save this, one sec." She did, and then threw on her jacket and off they went to lunch. Lunch seemed so inadequate, she thought, after Don had basically saved the company from a horrible end. She'd been over this in her mind for weeks, finally hitting on lunch. What else could she do? Give him one of those $50 Amazon gift certificates that the guidelines allowed? That would have been demoralizing for them both.

Perhaps you've been there. Some people in your organization have done really outstanding work. You want to recognize that work, but the budget is so small or the guidelines so miserly that anything you could do would be insulting. What can you do when people do really outstanding work? Express your genuine appreciation and trust — person-to-person, heart-to-heart. Remarking on outstanding performance is the basis of other public recognitions, such as the Oscars or military medals.

Paradoxically, a big budget for rewards is a liability — it tempts you to reward with money or resources, which can depress performance. This happens, in part, because rewards of evident value carry with them two messages that you cannot control.

Personal barriers

The expression "please accept this token of our esteem" is so worn that we barely grasp its literal meaning. Instead of your esteem, you're offering a token — a placeholder, a barrier between yourself and the recipient.

The value of the reward is significant

Rewards of evident value invite comparisons of their values. We can't help but make a meaning of the size of the reward, usually related to the depth of the appreciation. Unless each reward is greater than the last, you risk being seen as less appreciative than you really are.

As an alternative, consider honoring the outstanding performance by expressing your appreciation and offering your trust. Express your appreciation and gratitude publicly at a ceremony with everyone in attendance.

Offer your trust by offering more responsibility and greater challenges. For example, Pat can say, "Don, I really appreciate what you did on the Metronome project — the whole company does. You did such great work, I wonder if you would want to consider taking on Daffodil."

By giving the outstanding performer an opportunity — a choice — to demonstrate further outstanding performance, you give both the performer and the organization opportunities to achieve together.

By expressing publicly your appreciation and gratitude, you give a reward that no one else can give. And you give yourself a gift too — the knowledge that the success of your organization is due not only to your own abilities, but to the achievements of everyone in it.  Top    Next Issue

The article you've been reading is an archived issue of Point Lookout, my weekly newsletter. I've been publishing it since January, 2001, free to all subscribers, over the Web, and via RSS. You can help keep it free by donating either as an individual or as an organization. You'll receive in return my sincere thanks — and the comfort of knowing that you've helped to propagate insights and perspectives that can help make our workplaces a little more human-friendly. More

For an extensive study of the depressive effects of rewards, see Alfie Kohn, Punished by Rewards: The Trouble with Gold Stars, Incentive Plans, A's, Praise, and Other Bribes. Boston: Houghton Mifflin, 1993. Order from Amazon.com.

For more about Trust, see "Creating Trust," Point Lookout for January 21, 2009, "TINOs: Teams in Name Only," Point Lookout for March 19, 2008 and "The High Cost of Low Trust: I," Point Lookout for April 19, 2006.

Your comments are welcome

About Point Lookout

Thank you for reading this article. I hope you enjoyed it and found it useful, and that you'll consider recommending it to a friend.

Point Lookout is a free weekly email newsletter. Browse the archive of past issues. Subscribe for free.

Support Point Lookout by joining the Friends of Point Lookout, as an individual or as an organization.

Do you face a complex interpersonal situation? Send it in, anonymously if you like, and I'll give you my two cents.

Related articles

More articles on Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness:

The True Costs of Cubicles

Although cubicles do provide facility cost savings compared with walled offices, they do so at the price of product development delays and increased product development costs. Decisions of facilities planners can have dramatic project schedule impact.

Recalcitrant Collaborators

Much of the work we do happens outside the context of a team. We collaborate with people in other departments, other divisions, and other companies. When these collaborators are reluctant, resistive, or recalcitrant, what can we do?

Problem-Solving Preferences

When people solve problems together, differences in preferred approaches can surface. Some prefer to emphasize the goal or objective, while others focus on the obstacles. This difference is at once an asset and annoyance.

Constancy Assumptions

We necessarily make assumptions about our lives, including our work, because assumptions simplify things. And usually, our assumptions are valid. But not always.

Why Sidebars Happen

Sidebar conversations between meeting participants, conducted while someone else has the floor, are a distracting form of disorder that can waste time and reduce meeting effectiveness. Why do sidebars happen?

See also Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness for more related articles.

Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout

Coming December 19: Embarrassment, Shame, and Guilt at Work: Creation

Three feelings are often confused with each other: embarrassment, shame, and guilt. To understand how to cope with these feelings, begin by understanding what different kinds of situations we use when we create these feelings. Available here and by RSS on December 19.

And on December 26: Embarrassment, Shame, and Guilt at Work: Coping

Coping effectively with feelings of embarrassment, shame, or guilt is the path to recovering a sense of balance that's the foundation of clear thinking. And thinking clearly at work is important if you want to avoid feeling embarrassment, shame, or guilt. Available here and by RSS on December 26.

Coaching services

I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact Rick for details at rbrensFjSLbpZNXACqXbMner@ChacpKFHHKxNFBDXHOHBoCanyon.com or (650) 787-6475, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.

Get the ebook!

Past issues of Point Lookout are available in six ebooks:

• Get 2001-2 in Geese Don't Land on Twigs (PDF, USD 11.95)
• Get 2003-4 in Why Dogs Wag (PDF, USD 11.95)
• Get 2005-6 in Loopy Things We Do (PDF, USD 11.95)
• Get 2007-8 in Things We Believe That Maybe Aren't So True (PDF, USD 11.95)
• Get 2009-10 in The Questions Not Asked (PDF, USD 11.95)
• Get all of the first twelve years (2001-2012) in The Collected Issues of Point Lookout (PDF, USD 28.99)

Are you a writer, editor or publisher on deadline? Are you looking for an article that will get people talking and get compliments flying your way? You can have 500 words in your inbox in one hour. License any article from this Web site. More info

Public seminars

The Power Affect: How We Express Our Personal Power

Many people who possess real organizational power have a characteristic demeanor. It's the way they project their presence. I call this the power affect. Some people — call them power pretenders — adopt the power affect well before they attain significant organizational power. Unfortunately for their colleagues, and for their organizations, power pretenders can attain organizational power out of proportion to their merit or abilities. Understanding the power affect is therefore important for anyone who aims to attain power, or anyone who works with power pretenders. Read more about this program.

• A recording of a program presented 6:00 PM June 29 (Eastern Time), Monthly Webinar, Technobility Webinar Series. You can earn 1.0 Category 'A' PDU by viewing this program. View this program now.