
A rock climber in Joshua Tree National Park, United States. Deciding what to do when someone interrupts you can be a choice as difficult as choosing a route up a challenging rock face. Photo by Samantha Sophia.
Kristin stopped talking in mid-sentence. What was the point, she thought. She couldn't keep her own words straight with Dennis over-talking her. But she didn't want to let him get away with it, so she said in her best imitation of stern, "Excuse me, please, Dennis, I wasn't finished."
That got his attention. It got everyone else's attention, too, and Kristin regretted that. Maybe it was better to just let him roll over me, she thought.
Kristin is struggling with an issue that affects many of us — what to do about being interrupted, especially by repeat offenders.
Much of the problem is beyond your ability to resolve as an individual. Only the group as a whole can really address the part of the problem that traces to cultural patterns. It's a worthy activity, and I'll write more about it next time. For now, let's focus on what you can do yourself. Here are some tips for dealing with interruptions when you have the floor at a meeting.
Even though someonemight have interrupted you,
you might bear some
of the responsibility
- When someone interrupts you, check first to see whether you mind
- Not all interruptions are bad or disrespectful or malevolent. We're often grateful for a relevant question, a really funny remark, supportive evidence, a key clarification, or even a "Yes, I noticed that, too" — if it's brief and to-the-point.
- Sidebars aren't interruptions
- When two people engage in a sidebar, they aren't interrupting you — they're disrupting the meeting. Taking personal offense probably won't help. If the meeting has a chair, ask the chair for order. Otherwise, ask the meeting at large for order.
- Sometimes you interrupt yourself
- Sometimes as you're talking, you recall a related idea, or you think of something to add before continuing. Whether or not you see this digression as an interruption, you could be interrupting yourself if you insert it into what you're saying. It's almost always safer not to interrupt yourself.
- Wrap it up
- Sometimes you're the root cause of the interruption, especially if you're taking too much time, or plowing over already-plowed ground. Be respectful of everyone's time — wrap it up.
- Pause strategically
- As you're speaking, some of your listeners are actually just waiting — they're looking for cues that you're finished, so they can jump in. They interpret pauses as cues. Pausing at the end of a sentence or clause, especially when accompanied by a breath, invites interruption. To avoid this, pause for breath only in mid-clause.
Some interrupters are actually trying to be rude or intimidating, or worse. If that's the case, the problem is bigger than interrupting, and only a private conversation can help address it. Whatever you do, avoid email.
If you tend to interrupt others yourself, consider cutting back. Unless you do, interruptions will probably continue without interruption. Top
Next Issue
Do you spend your days scurrying from meeting to meeting? Do you ever wonder if all these meetings are really necessary? (They aren't) Or whether there isn't some better way to get this work done? (There is) Read 101 Tips for Effective Meetings to learn how to make meetings much more productive and less stressful — and a lot more rare. Order Now!
For an exploration of interruptions from the point of group as a whole, check out "Discussus Interruptus," Point Lookout for January 29, 2003.
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Related articles
More articles on Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness:
Remote Facilitation in Synchronous Contexts: I
- Whoever facilitates your distributed meetings — whether a dedicated facilitator or the meeting
chair — will discover quickly that remote facilitation presents special problems. Here's a little
catalog of those problems, and some suggestions for addressing them.
You Can't Control What Other People Think
- Ever think that the world would be a much better place if you could control what other people think?
Maybe it would be. And maybe not...
False Summits: I
- Mountaineers often experience "false summits," when just as they thought they were nearing
the summit, it turns out that there is much more climbing to do. So it is in project work.
The Artful Shirker
- Most people who shirk work are fairly obvious about it, but some are so artful that the people around
them don't realize what's happening. Here are a few of the more sophisticated shirking techniques.
Disjoint Awareness: Bias
- Some cognitive biases can cause people in collaborations to have inaccurate understandings of what each
other is doing. Confirmation bias and self-serving bias are two examples of cognitive biases that can
contribute to disjoint awareness in some situations.
See also Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness, Effective Meetings and Effective Communication at Work for more related articles.
Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout
Coming February 1: The Big Power of Little Words
- Big, fancy words, like commensurate or obfuscation, tend to be more noticed than the little everyday words, like yet or best. That might be why the little words can be so much more powerful, steering conversations where their users want them to go. Available here and by RSS on February 1.
And on February 8: Kerfuffles That Seem Like Something More
- Much of what we regard as political conflict is a series of squabbles commonly called kerfuffles. They captivate us while they're underway, but after a month or two they're forgotten. Why do they happen? Why do they persist? Available here and by RSS on February 8.
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