Here are some haiku to contemplate when you find yourself in the midst of difficult, uncomfortable, tense situations at work. Read them slowly. Notice how you feel about each one.
Whenever I try
to see things the way you do,
fear overcomes me.
I will obey you.
Whatever you say is right.
The org chart says so.
everyone else about this,
I must be confused.
When the yelling starts
and people blame each other,
I flee for safety.
You don't understand
the complexities we face.
That's why I'm yelling.
When compromise fails,
I strengthen my position
by finding allies.
When we don't agree,
I try everything I know
to bring you around.
When I ask myself,
"Why can't we all get along?"
the answer is them.
We get in trouble
whenever we're together.
Why don't you shape up?
It would be better
for us all if only you
wouldn't question me.
My approach to this
is clearly better than yours.
Why can't you see that?
She does what she wants,
when she's ready to do it.
I must tell her boss.
Whenever I hear
an offer so generous
it just can't be true.
Things look very bleak.
We may never resolve this.
Tell me what's for lunch.
We warned them again,
and they tried it anyway.
Now it's their problem.
I'll never forget
the pain you caused me back then.
And now you will pay.
I might hurt myself
by trying to destroy you,
but you deserve it.
She is pure evil.
We must do all we can do
to keep her contained.
Listening to you
explain the way you see things
would make me seem weak.
If you respect me
you'll agree with me on this.
If you don't — you don't.
You remind me of
someone who once did me wrong.
I see him not you.
I want what I want.
What you want does not matter.
Just do as I say.
I am everything.
Everyone must bow to me.
I must divide you,
because you both threaten me.
Dividing, I conquer.
She saved us last year.
Whatever she says is true.
We follow her lead.
If you say we can,
success is a certainty.
We believe in you.
He rarely attends
but we schedule it for him
in case he breaks free.
Whatever you say,
however you insult me,
I always stay cool.
He hasn't a clue
how impossible that is,
but we must do it.
Are you fed up with tense, explosive meetings? Are you or a colleague the target of a bully? Destructive conflict can ruin organizations. But if we believe that all conflict is destructive, and that we can somehow eliminate conflict, or that conflict is an enemy of productivity, then we're in conflict with Conflict itself. Read 101 Tips for Managing Conflict to learn how to make peace with conflict and make it an organizational asset. Order Now!
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More articles on Emotions at Work:
- The Fallacy of the False Cause
- Although we sometimes make decisions with incomplete information, we do the best we can, given what
we know. Sometimes, we make wrong decisions not because we have incomplete information, but because
we make mistakes in how we reason about the information we do have.
- Are You Micromanaging Yourself?
- Feeling distrusted and undervalued, we often attribute the problem to the behavior of others —
to the micromanager who might be mistreating us. We tend not to examine our own contributions to the
difficulty. Are you micromanaging yourself?
- Totally at Home
- Getting home from work is far more than a question of transportation. What can we do to come home totally
— to move not only our bodies, but our minds and our spirits from work to home?
- Ethical Influence: I
- Influencing others can be difficult. Even more difficult is defining a set of approaches to influencing
that almost all of us consider ethical. Here's a framework that makes a good starting point.
- Changing Blaming Cultures
- Culture change in organizations is always challenging, but changing a blaming culture presents special
difficulties. Here are three reasons why.
Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout
- Coming August 21: Perfectionism and Avoidance
- Avoiding tasks we regard as unpleasant, boring, or intimidating is a pattern known as procrastination. Perfectionism is another pattern. The interplay between the two makes intervention a bit tricky. Available here and by RSS on August 21.
- And on August 28: Playing at Work
- Eight hours a day — usually more — of meetings, phone calls, reading and writing email and text messages, briefing others or being briefed, is enough to drive anyone around the bend. To re-energize, to clarify one's perspective, and to restore creative capacity, play is essential. Play at work, I mean. Available here and by RSS on August 28.
I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact Rick for details at rbrenmhXARWRMUvVyOdHlner@ChacxgDmtwOKrxnripPCoCanyon.com or (650) 787-6475, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.
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- On 14 December 1911, four men led by Roald Amundsen reached
the South Pole. Thirty-five days later, Robert F. Scott and four others followed. Amundsen had won the
race to the pole. Amundsen's party returned to base on 26 January 1912. Scott's party perished. As historical
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sponsors, and project managers, the story is fascinating. We'll use the history of this event to explore
lessons in leadership and its application to organizational efforts. A fascinating and refreshing look
at leadership from the vantage point of history. Read
more about this program. Here's a date for this program:
- Baldwin-Wallace University, 275 Eastland Road, Berea, Ohio
44017: November 7,
Kerzner Lecture Series/International Project Management Day, sponsored by Baldwin Wallace University and the Northeast Ohio Chapter of the Project Management Institute.
- Baldwin-Wallace University, 275 Eastland Road, Berea, Ohio 44017: November 7, Kerzner Lecture Series/International Project Management Day, sponsored by Baldwin Wallace University and the Northeast Ohio Chapter of the Project Management Institute. Register now.
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