How to Procrastinate

Before you start reading this — oops, too late for that. Anyway, I was about to say that after you read this, you'll be more aware of procrastination techniques, and that might make procrastination more difficult. So maybe you want to think it over before you read another word.

Ah, I see you're still here. I can only conclude that you're so dedicated to becoming a better procrastinator, that despite the risks, you want to push ahead immediately. Are you sure? Take your time. Get a cup of coffee. Read your email. Chat with your pal down the hall.

OK, enough dilly-dallying. Here we go.

Any dunderhead can procrastinate. But to procrastinate so well that you actually forget about what you weren't doing, and to procrastinate consistently, requires both talent and devotion. Since I have neither, I use this handy list of procrastination techniques.

• Find something else to do that's more "urgent"
• Notice that you won't be able to finish until some majorly important issue is resolved, so don't bother starting
• Start, but then remember something else you have to do. Jump to that "before I forget."
• Enter task at bottom of to do list, then forget to look at to do list
• Start task, think of important question, call someone who can provide answer, get routed to voicemail, leave brief message, then move on to something else you'd rather be doing instead
• Voicemail not returned. Keep doing something else.
• Voicemail still not returned. Consider leaving another voicemail, but don't actually do it.
• Take a break, get coffeeSince reading this article
  can make procrastination more
  difficult, you might want to
  put it off for a day or two
• Check email
• Check email again
• Spend some time moving email messages that should be deleted, from inbox to random file folders where they'll never be seen again
• Google something
• Fiddle around at FaceBook
• Bored. Switch to YouTube.
• Start task just before quitting time, then go home. Next morning, you forget you were doing it.
• Voicemail finally returned, but you're away from desk. Make note to call back.
• Start task, get interrupted (phone call, visitor, etc.), then when you resume, do something else instead
• Make some forward progress, but spend way too much time celebrating it
• Majorly important issue finally resolved. Make a note to find another majorly important issue to take its place.
• Delegate important blocking subtask to someone who is either too busy, or works too slowly, or is unwilling to do it. Even better, someone who's a better procrastinator than you are.
• Make some small forward progress. Whew. Enough for now.
• Find something positive to say in case anyone asks

I've been working on an ending for this article, and I've made some progress, but it's not quite ready. I'll let you know when I have it.  Top    Next Issue

Love the work but not the job? Bad boss, long commute, troubling ethical questions, hateful colleague? This ebook looks at what we can do to get more out of life at work. It helps you get moving again! Read Go For It! Sometimes It's Easier If You Run, filled with tips and techniques for putting zing into your work life. Order Now!

Your comments are welcome

About Point Lookout

Thank you for reading this article. I hope you enjoyed it and found it useful, and that you'll consider recommending it to a friend.

This article in its entirety was written by a human being. No machine intelligence was involved in any way.

Point Lookout is a free weekly email newsletter. Browse the archive of past issues. Subscribe for free.

Support Point Lookout by joining the Friends of Point Lookout, as an individual or as an organization.

Do you face a complex interpersonal situation? Send it in, anonymously if you like, and I'll give you my two cents.

Related articles

More articles on Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness:

Selling Uphill: The Pitch

Whether you're a CEO or a project champion, you occasionally have to persuade decision makers who have some kind of power over you. What do they look for? What are the key elements of an effective pitch? What does it take to Persuade Power?

Wacky Words of Wisdom

Words of wisdom are so often helpful that many of them have solidified into easily remembered capsules. We do tend to over-generalize them, though, and when we do, trouble follows. Here are a few of the more dangerous ones.

Management Debt: I

Management debt, like technical debt, arises when we choose paths — usually the lowest-cost paths — that lead to recurring costs that are typically higher than alternatives. Why do we take on management debt? How can we pay it down?

When It's Just Not Your Job

Has your job become frustrating because the organization has lost its way? Is circumventing the craziness making you crazy too? How can you recover your perspective despite the situation?

Wacky Words of Wisdom: IV

Words of wisdom are pithy sayings that can be valuable so often that we believe them absolutely. Although these sayings are often valuable, they aren't universally valid. Here's Part IV of a growing collection.

See also Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness and Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness for more related articles.

Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout

Coming March 26: Seven Ways to Support Word-of-Mouth About Your Content

Whether you're making a presentation or writing an article or a book, making your material more memorable is a desirable objective. After the talk, or after the reader sets down your work, what you have to offer will be accessible only if the auditor or reader remembers something about it. Available here and by RSS on March 26.

And on April 2: Mitigating the Trauma of Being Laid Off

Trauma is an emotional response to horrible events — accidents, crimes, disasters, physical abuse, emotional abuse, gross injustices — and layoffs. Layoff trauma is real. Employers know how to execute layoffs with compassion, but some act out of cruelty. Know how to defend yourself. Available here and by RSS on April 2.

Coaching services

I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact Rick for details at rbrentSgXnAlNVWlhxNIJner@ChacAtZoEYrrmofzZnjPoCanyon.com or (650) 787-6475, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.

Get the ebook!

Past issues of Point Lookout are available in six ebooks:

• Get 2001-2 in Geese Don't Land on Twigs (PDF, )
• Get 2003-4 in Why Dogs Wag (PDF, )
• Get 2005-6 in Loopy Things We Do (PDF, )
• Get 2007-8 in Things We Believe That Maybe Aren't So True (PDF, )
• Get 2009-10 in The Questions Not Asked (PDF, )
• Get all of the first twelve years (2001-2012) in The Collected Issues of Point Lookout (PDF, )

Are you a writer, editor or publisher on deadline? Are you looking for an article that will get people talking and get compliments flying your way? You can have 500-1000 words in your inbox in one hour. License any article from this Web site. More info