How to Procrastinate

Before you start reading this — oops, too late for that. Anyway, I was about to say that after you read this, you'll be more aware of procrastination techniques, and that might make procrastination more difficult. So maybe you want to think it over before you read another word.

Ah, I see you're still here. I can only conclude that you're so dedicated to becoming a better procrastinator, that despite the risks, you want to push ahead immediately. Are you sure? Take your time. Get a cup of coffee. Read your email. Chat with your pal down the hall.

OK, enough dilly-dallying. Here we go.

Any dunderhead can procrastinate. But to procrastinate so well that you actually forget about what you weren't doing, and to procrastinate consistently, requires both talent and devotion. Since I have neither, I use this handy list of procrastination techniques.

• Find something else to do that's more "urgent"
• Notice that you won't be able to finish until some majorly important issue is resolved, so don't bother starting
• Start, but then remember something else you have to do. Jump to that "before I forget."
• Enter task at bottom of to do list, then forget to look at to do list
• Start task, think of important question, call someone who can provide answer, get routed to voicemail, leave brief message, then move on to something else you'd rather be doing instead
• Voicemail not returned. Keep doing something else.
• Voicemail still not returned. Consider leaving another voicemail, but don't actually do it.
• Take a break, get coffeeSince reading this article
  can make procrastination more
  difficult, you might want to
  put it off for a day or two
• Check email
• Check email again
• Spend some time moving email messages that should be deleted, from inbox to random file folders where they'll never be seen again
• Google something
• Fiddle around at FaceBook
• Bored. Switch to YouTube.
• Start task just before quitting time, then go home. Next morning, you forget you were doing it.
• Voicemail finally returned, but you're away from desk. Make note to call back.
• Start task, get interrupted (phone call, visitor, etc.), then when you resume, do something else instead
• Make some forward progress, but spend way too much time celebrating it
• Majorly important issue finally resolved. Make a note to find another majorly important issue to take its place.
• Delegate important blocking subtask to someone who is either too busy, or works too slowly, or is unwilling to do it. Even better, someone who's a better procrastinator than you are.
• Make some small forward progress. Whew. Enough for now.
• Find something positive to say in case anyone asks

I've been working on an ending for this article, and I've made some progress, but it's not quite ready. I'll let you know when I have it.  Top    Next Issue

Love the work but not the job? Bad boss, long commute, troubling ethical questions, hateful colleague? This ebook looks at what we can do to get more out of life at work. It helps you get moving again! Read Go For It! Sometimes It's Easier If You Run, filled with tips and techniques for putting zing into your work life. Order Now!

Your comments are welcome

About Point Lookout

Thank you for reading this article. I hope you enjoyed it and found it useful, and that you'll consider recommending it to a friend.

Point Lookout is a free weekly email newsletter. Browse the archive of past issues. Subscribe for free.

Support Point Lookout by joining the Friends of Point Lookout, as an individual or as an organization.

Do you face a complex interpersonal situation? Send it in, anonymously if you like, and I'll give you my two cents.

Related articles

More articles on Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness:

Dangerous Phrases

I recently upgraded my email program to a new version that "monitors messages for offensive text." It hasn't worked out well. But the whole affair got me to think about everyday phrases that do tend to set people off. Here's a little catalog.

Make Space for Serendipity

Serendipity in project management is rare, in part, because we're under too much pressure to see it. If we can reduce the pressure, wonderful things happen.

Getting Around Hawthorne

The Hawthorne Effect appears when we measure employee attitudes or behavior — when people know they're being measured, they modify their behavior. How can we measure attitudes with a minimum of distortion from the Hawthorne Effect?

Ten Reasons Why You Don't Always Get What You Measure: II

Although many believe that "You get what you measure," metrics-based management systems sometimes produce disappointing results. In this Part II, we look at the effects of employee behavior.

Tactics for Asking for Volunteers: II

When we seek volunteers for specific, time-limited tasks, a common approach is just to ask the entire team at a meeting or teleconference. It's simple, but it carries risks. There are alternatives.

See also Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness for more related articles.

Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout

Coming July 22: Red Flags: I

When we finally admit to ourselves that a collaborative effort is in serious trouble, we sometimes recall that we had noticed several "red flags" early enough to take action. Toxic conflict and voluntary turnover are two examples. Available here and by RSS on July 22.

And on July 29: Red Flags: II

When we find clear evidence of serious problems in a project or other collaboration, we sometimes realize that we had overlooked several "red flags" that had foretold trouble. In this Part II of our review of red flags, we consider communication patterns that are useful indicators of future problems. Available here and by RSS on July 29.

Coaching services

I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact Rick for details at rbrenuQKLUMsVubCpqOpqner@ChacCCvpZbzKGsgliMGNoCanyon.com or (650) 787-6475, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.

Get the ebook!

Past issues of Point Lookout are available in six ebooks:

• Get 2001-2 in Geese Don't Land on Twigs (PDF, )
• Get 2003-4 in Why Dogs Wag (PDF, )
• Get 2005-6 in Loopy Things We Do (PDF, )
• Get 2007-8 in Things We Believe That Maybe Aren't So True (PDF, )
• Get 2009-10 in The Questions Not Asked (PDF, )
• Get all of the first twelve years (2001-2012) in The Collected Issues of Point Lookout (PDF, )

Are you a writer, editor or publisher on deadline? Are you looking for an article that will get people talking and get compliments flying your way? You can have 500 words in your inbox in one hour. License any article from this Web site. More info

Public seminars

The Power Affect: How We Express Our Personal Power

Many people who possess real organizational power have a characteristic demeanor. It's the way they project their presence. I call this the power affect. Some people — call them power pretenders — adopt the power affect well before they attain significant organizational power. Unfortunately for their colleagues, and for their organizations, power pretenders can attain organizational power out of proportion to their merit or abilities. Understanding the power affect is therefore important for anyone who aims to attain power, or anyone who works with power pretenders. Read more about this program.

• A recording of a program presented June 29, 2017, Monthly Webinar, sponsored by Technobility Webinar Series. PMI members can earn 1.0 Category 'A' PDU by viewing this program. View this program now.
   

Bullet Points: Mastery or Madness?

Decision-makers in modern organizations commonly demand briefings in the form of bullet points or a series of series of bullet points. But this form of presentation has limited value for complex decisions. We need something more. We actually need to think. Briefers who combine the bullet-point format with a variety of persuasion techniques can mislead decision-makers, guiding them into making poor decisions. Read more about this program.

• A recording of a program presented June 24, Monthly Webinar, sponsored by Technobility Webinar Series. PMI members can earn 1.0 Category 'A' PDU by viewing this program. View this program now.