Narcissistic Behavior at Work: II

In recent years, coping with narcissistic behavior at work has attracted increasing interest, perhaps because many believe that some world leaders, prominent individuals, and historic figures have exhibited narcissistic behaviors. The full list of behaviors and attitudes examined in this series is:

• Expresses exaggerated self-importance
• Preoccupied with superiority fantasies
• Believes that he or she is special and that only special people or institutions can fully appreciate that specialness
• Constantly demands attention and admiration from others
• Expects and demands favorable treatment
• Exploits others for personal ends
• Displays ruthless disregard for the feelings of others
• Envies others or believes that others envy him or her
• Is Off-the-charts arrogant

For convenience, I've been referring to the person exhibiting these behaviors as either Nick or Nora. Last time, I explored expressions of exaggerated self-importance. In this installment I examine preoccupation with superiority fantasies.

Illustrations

Nick always insists on the most sought-after assignments and the largest and most pretentious office space with the best view. He demands remedies when he isn't satisfied. Even though the workplace is rather casual, Nick, who has a Ph.D., demanded that ", Ph.D." be appended to his name on his cubicle nameplate.

Since Nick requires that his role be superior in every way to the roles of his co-workers, his fantasies about it sometimes appear as embellishments of history. He asserts fictions about the past. He claims that he warned about a risk when he didn't, or that he predicted a solution's success when he actually predicted failure. He couples these claims about his stellar contributions with disparaging claims about the contributions of others. Although all these claims are untrue, they aren't mere lies. They're points of conflict between reality and Nick's superiority fantasies.

Perhaps Nick's most debilitating fantasy is that his fantasies of future glory aren't fantasies. He regards them as realistic objectives.

Description

Typically we regard fantasies as private, but narcissistic fantasies can be ostentatiously public displays, such as emblems of success, power, credentials, and organizational status, especially if they're overblown relative to reality — or totally fraudulent. In the more personal dimension, examples include exaggerated regard for one's own attractiveness, intelligence, or romantic conquests.

Fantasies can Keeping large numbers of
heavily embellished truths
straight in one's mind
can be difficultbe pure, in that nothing about them is true or factual. Or they can be based on reality, but embellished in fantastical ways. Keeping large numbers of heavily embellished truths straight in one's mind can be difficult. Nick therefore is frequently caught contradicting past embellished stories or positions.

Organizational risks

Nick's ability to distort his own perceptions and recollections of reality enables him to convincingly represent his fantasies to others as realities. Nick can recruit others to his cause when he wants to isolate someone, or damage someone's career, or cause his team to adopt or reject a strategic option, or ignore a very real risk. At times, he can distort the views of people around him so as to cause groups to make decisions inconsistent with organizational health and safety.

Coping tactics

As Nick's supervisor, recognize that you probably can't talk Nick out of his pattern of fantastical distortions of reality. Temporary improvement is possible, but relapses are nearly inevitable. There's no question of establishing the right performance goals, or devising a performance improvement plan that will lead to a permanent change of behavior. Make plans for replacing him. And if you discover that he misrepresented his experience or qualifications when you hired him, termination could become a very practical option.

As Nick's co-worker, skepticism is a helpful defense. It's difficult to justify relying on his word for anything. Get his promises and claims in writing, by taking minutes at meetings or asking him to put his promises in email. But recognize that despite whatever evidence you later show him, he might very well deny what the evidence is supposed to show. Evidence doesn't prevent him from rewriting history; it serves only to narrow the basis on which he rests his rewrites. By collecting evidence, you might be able to cause his behavior to become so outrageous that management might no longer be able to refrain from action.

Next time, I'll examine attitudes like, "I'm so special that you can barely appreciate me." First in this series  Next in this series  Top    Next Issue

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Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout

Coming December 6: Off-Putting and Conversational Narcissism at Work: III

Having off-putting interactions is one of four themes of conversational narcissism. Here are seven behavioral patterns that relate to off-putting interactions and how abusers use them to control conversations. Available here and by RSS on December 6.

And on December 13: Contrary Indicators of Psychological Safety: I

To take the risks that learning and practicing new ways requires, we all need a sense that trial-and-error approaches are safe. Organizations seeking to improve processes would do well to begin by assessing their level of psychological safety. Available here and by RSS on December 13.

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