
Daffodils of the variety Narcissus Barrett Browning. Narcissus, the scientific name of the genus commonly known as daffodils, is a name taken from Greek mythology. Narcissus was a hunter known for his beauty, of which he was very proud. In the myth, Nemesis, who was the goddess of revenge or divine retribution, became aware of Narcissus' extreme pride, and attracted him to a still pool, where he saw his own reflection. Narcissus fell in love with his reflection, unaware that it was just an image. He became unable to leave it, and soon died.
Narcissistic behaviors at work are certainly damaging to the organization. The person exhibiting the behavior is also harmed, though by adopting a nomadic career, it's possible to stay ahead of the negative consequences for extended periods. Photo courtesy U.S. National Parks Service.
How to cope with narcissists at work is a popular topic on the Interwebs these days. Which is interesting, because the term narcissist serves as both a lay and clinical designation. The two usages differ. And it can be difficult to know which sense pertains when we hear the term in use. The clinical sense implies that the person in question is afflicted with what psychologists call Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Because few of us are equipped to make such a diagnosis of our co-workers, even if they're willing to submit to examination, I prefer to focus on behaviors and attitudes rather than the person exhibiting them.
In this and coming issues, I'll examine a set of narcissistic behaviors and attitudes. For each one, I'll provide illustrations, a description, an indication of its organizational risks, and suggestions for coping with the behavior until management finally intervenes. Here are the behaviors and attitudes I'll examine:
- Expresses exaggerated self-importance
- Preoccupied with superiority fantasies
- Believes that he or she is special and that only special people or institutions can fully appreciate that specialness
- Constantly demands attention and admiration from others
- Expects and demands favorable treatment
- Exploits others for personal ends
- Displays ruthless disregard for the feelings of others
- Envies others or believes that others envy him or her
- Is Off-the-charts arrogant
For convenience, I'll refer to the person exhibiting these narcissistic behaviors as either Nick or Nora. Let's begin this time with "Expresses exaggerated self-importance."
- Illustrations
- Nora insists that all meetings, whatever their agendas, be scheduled at times when she can attend, because a meeting without her can't possibly reach any valid conclusions. If an important task is assigned to a subgroup, that group must include Nora. If it does not, she insists on reviewing their results, and then adjusting them as she sees fit.
- Description
- Feeling Because few of us are equipped to
diagnose clinical narcissism in our
co-workers, it's safer to focus on
behaviors and attitudes rather
than the person exhibiting themthat oneself is more important than someone else in a given situation is a common sensation; feeling that oneself is more important than everyone else in all situations is probably narcissistic. - Organizational risks
- Behaviors and attitudes like Nora's are inimical to organizational survival. Even if Nora is often justified in her assessment of her own capabilities, nobody is always right. Letting her views prevail consistently in these ways exposes the organization to high risk of catastrophic blunders.
- Merely expressing the belief that one is more important than anyone else — let alone acting on it — is dangerous to the organization and constitutes a performance issue. Management must intervene and deal with it as such. If management doesn't intervene, others compelled to accept the presence of someone like Nora will learn that there's little opportunity for them to contribute or for their contributions to be recognized. The more capable among them will seek opportunities elsewhere, and those people are the very people the organization should nurture and develop.
- Coping tactics
- If you supervise Nora, your duty is to take corrective action. Your Human Resources representative can guide you.
- If you aren't Nora's supervisor, alert Nora's supervisor to the problem. If no effective action results, you can consider filing a formal grievance, but beware: Nora is unlikely to tolerate anyone who stands against her. If she learns of the action you've taken, the consequences for you could be seriously unpleasant. In some situations, your best option might be finding an exit — for you or for Nora — and keeping your head down until you do.
Next time, I'll examine the attitude I've described as a preoccupation with superiority fantasies. Next in this series Top
Next Issue
Is every other day a tense, anxious, angry misery as you watch people around you, who couldn't even think their way through a game of Jacks, win at workplace politics and steal the credit and glory for just about everyone's best work including yours? Read 303 Secrets of Workplace Politics, filled with tips and techniques for succeeding in workplace politics. More info
Your comments are welcome
Would you like to see your comments posted here? rbrenEMudcCzvnDHFfOEmner@ChacTcmtXTCJBjZfSFjIoCanyon.comSend me your comments by email, or by Web form.About Point Lookout
Thank you for reading this article. I hope you enjoyed it and found it useful, and that you'll consider recommending it to a friend.
Point Lookout is a free weekly email newsletter. Browse the archive of past issues. Subscribe for free.
Support Point Lookout by joining the Friends of Point Lookout, as an individual or as an organization.
Do you face a complex interpersonal situation? Send it in, anonymously if you like, and I'll give you my two cents.
Related articles
More articles on Workplace Politics:
The Advantages of Political Attack: I
- In workplace politics, attackers sometimes prevail even when the attacks are specious, and even when
the attacker's job performance is substandard. Why are attacks so effective, and how can targets respond
effectively?
When You're the Least of the Best: I
- The path to the pinnacle of many professions leads through an initiate or intern stage in which the
new professional plays a role designed to facilitate learning, especially from those more experienced.
For some, this role is frustrating and difficult. Comfort in the role makes learning its lessons easier.
How Did I Come to Be So Overworked?
- You're good at your job, but there's just too much of it, and it keeps on coming. Your boss doesn't
seem to realize how much work you do. How does this happen?
The Perils of Novel Argument
- When people use novel or sophisticated arguments to influence others, the people they're trying to influence
are sometimes subject to cognitive biases triggered by the nature of the argument. This puts them at
a disadvantage relative to the influencer. How does this happen?
Grace Under Fire: IV
- People can be astonishingly inventive when trying to harm others. Some strategies involve driving to
distraction the target of their malevolence by humiliating the target and lying about the target's character,
deeds, or abilities. Targets who recognize these methods are more likely to be able to maintain composure.
See also Workplace Politics and Devious Political Tactics for more related articles.
Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout
Coming July 13: What Do We Actually Know?
- Precision in both writing and speech can be critical in determining the success of collaborations in the modern workplace. Precision is especially important when we distinguish between what we surmise or assume and what we actually know. Available here and by RSS on July 13.
And on July 20: Overt Verbal Abuse at Work
- Verbal abuse in the workplace involves using written or spoken language to disparage, to disadvantage, or to otherwise harm others. Perpetrators tend to favor tactics that they can subsequently deny having used to harm anyone. Available here and by RSS on July 20.
Coaching services
I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact Rick for details at rbrenEMudcCzvnDHFfOEmner@ChacTcmtXTCJBjZfSFjIoCanyon.com or (650) 787-6475, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.
Get the ebook!
Past issues of Point Lookout are available in six ebooks:
- Get 2001-2 in Geese Don't Land on Twigs (PDF, )
- Get 2003-4 in Why Dogs Wag (PDF, )
- Get 2005-6 in Loopy Things We Do (PDF, )
- Get 2007-8 in Things We Believe That Maybe Aren't So True (PDF, )
- Get 2009-10 in The Questions Not Asked (PDF, )
- Get all of the first twelve years (2001-2012) in The Collected Issues of Point Lookout (PDF, )
Are you a writer, editor or publisher on deadline? Are you looking for an article that will get people talking and get compliments flying your way? You can have 500-1000 words in your inbox in one hour. License any article from this Web site. More info
Public seminars
- The Power Affect: How We Express Our Personal Power
Many
people who possess real organizational power have a characteristic demeanor. It's the way they project their presence. I call this the power affect. Some people — call them power pretenders — adopt the power affect well before they attain significant organizational power. Unfortunately for their colleagues, and for their organizations, power pretenders can attain organizational power out of proportion to their merit or abilities. Understanding the power affect is therefore important for anyone who aims to attain power, or anyone who works with power pretenders. Read more about this program.
- A recording of a program presented June 29, 2017, Monthly
Webinar, sponsored by Technobility
Webinar Series. PMI members can earn 1.0 Category 'A' PDU by viewing this program. View this program now.
- A recording of a program presented June 29, 2017, Monthly
Webinar, sponsored by Technobility
Webinar Series. PMI members can earn 1.0 Category 'A' PDU by viewing this program. View this program now.
- A recording of a program presented June 29, 2017, Monthly
Webinar, sponsored by Technobility
Webinar Series. PMI members can earn 1.0 Category 'A' PDU by viewing this program. View this program now.
- Bullet Points: Mastery or Madness?
Decis
ion makers in modern organizations commonly demand briefings in the form of bullet points or a series of series of bullet points. But this form of presentation has limited value for complex decisions. We need something more. We actually need to think. Briefers who combine the bullet-point format with a variety of persuasion techniques can mislead decision makers, guiding them into making poor decisions. Read more about this program.
- A recording of a program presented June 24, 2020, Monthly
Webinar, sponsored by Technobility
Webinar Series. PMI members can earn 1.0 Category 'A' PDU by viewing this program. View this program now.
- A recording of a program presented June 24, 2020, Monthly
Webinar, sponsored by Technobility
Webinar Series. PMI members can earn 1.0 Category 'A' PDU by viewing this program. View this program now.
- A recording of a program presented June 24, 2020, Monthly
Webinar, sponsored by Technobility
Webinar Series. PMI members can earn 1.0 Category 'A' PDU by viewing this program. View this program now.
Follow Rick





Recommend this issue to a friend
Send an email message to a friend
rbrenEMudcCzvnDHFfOEmner@ChacTcmtXTCJBjZfSFjIoCanyon.comSend a message to Rick
A Tip A Day feed
Point Lookout weekly feed
