This is Part III of my series on managing the risks of interrupting fellow attendees at meetings. In Part I I examined assigning roles that have prior group approval to interrupt when certain conditions are met. I also described a "process check" custom that enables attendees to halt the proceedings when a violation of norms has occurred. In Part II I explored three approaches that any attendee in any meeting could use, and examined the risks of each. In this Part III I examine three more methods individuals can use. For convenience, I'll use the name Inez for the interrupter, and Steve for the speaker.
- Wit and humor are frequently confused, possibly because the boundary between them is so fuzzy. Some remarks can be both witty and funny, while others are clearly one or the other. Both are helpful to the prospective interrupter, but wit can be more effective, because it's usually clever or insightful, and it might be more directly connected to whatever is happening in the present moment. And the "wit bar" is actually fairly low. Example: "I agree it's a complex problem, but many complex problems have simple solutions. Let's search a little while longer."
- Because witty remarks can be difficult to generate on the fly, it's most fortunate that they need not be original. Having a stock of them in your mind is both helpful and possible. For example, when the topic is continuous, incremental change, it's useful to cite the Chinese proverb that advises, "Two leaps per chasm is fatal." Become a collector of witty aphorisms: there are dozens of books and ebooks available. Chiasmus is a particularly powerful form: Never Let a Fool Kiss You or a Kiss Fool You. Or check Web sites such as: "50 most inspirational quotes from books."
- As with all interruptions, brevity is power.
- One form of deftness is offering your comments in the form of questions, especially if directed at the person interrupted. Examples: "Have you considered…," "Is it worth contacting them about it…," "Is it possible that those two systems are interacting in some other way…," "Do you know how the regulators would react to that idea…"
- Questions Because witty remarks can be
difficult to generate on the fly,
it's most fortunate that
they need not be originalcan be effective because they inherently cede the floor to someone else other than the interrupter. They're less likely to be seen as tools for seizing control of the discussion and therefore less likely to give offense.
- Confidence — and courage
- Courage is most useful when you disagree with the speaker. If you're confident of your position, and your relationship is solid, directness might be most effective. Examples: "I see it a little differently…," "I have to disagree on that…," or "We actually found them to be very reliable on the Marigold work…"
- If there's room for debate or uncertainty, a less direct approach might work better: "I've heard from Erica in New York that their approach is getting great results. How do our projections compare?" Note the use of our instead of your. Our is less confrontational.
- Even less directly, Inez can challenge Steve's position by combining his position with all others, offering a radically different perspective: "Here's a wild idea — what if…" Being radically different, and being at odds with all previous thinking — not just Steve's — enables Inez to avoid singling out only Steve. He's less likely to feel targeted.
Most important, take care not to embarrass or ridicule any fellow attendee, ever. If you do, some might see your interruptions as thin cloaks for personal attacks, even if you're innocent of any such motive. People who make this interpretation might then counterattack on the basis of your speaking out of turn. Whatever you were trying to accomplish might then be moved out of your reach. The consequences for you could be long lasting, extending into future meetings. First in this series Top Next Issue
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More articles on Effective Meetings:
- Take Any Seat: II
- In meetings, where you sit in the room influences your effectiveness, both in the formal part of the
meeting and in the milling-abouts that occur around breaks. You can take any seat, but if you make your
choice strategically, you can better maintain your autonomy and power.
- Have a Program, Not Just an Agenda
- In the modern organization, it's common to have meetings in which some people have never met —
and some never will. For these meetings, which are often telemeetings, an agenda isn't enough. You need
- What Groupthink Isn't
- The term groupthink is tossed around fairly liberally in conversation and on the Web. But it's
astonishing how often it's misused and misunderstood. Here are some examples.
- Meta-Debate at Work
- Workplace discussions sometimes take the form of informal debate, in which parties who initially have
different perspectives try to arrive at a shared perspective. Meta-debate is one way things can go wrong.
- Virtual Trips to Abilene
- One dysfunction of face-to-face meetings is the Trip to Abilene, which leads groups to make decisions
no members actually support. It can afflict virtual meetings, too, even more easily.
Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout
- Coming January 22: Disjoint Awareness: Bias
- Some cognitive biases can cause people in collaborations to have inaccurate understandings of what each other is doing. Confirmation bias and self-serving bias are two examples of cognitive biases that can contribute to disjoint awareness in some situations. Available here and by RSS on January 22.
- And on January 29: Higher-Velocity Problem Definition
- Typical approaches to shortening time-to-market for new products usually involve accelerating problem solving. Accelerating problem definition can also help. Available here and by RSS on January 29.
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- The Power Affect: How We Express Our Personal Power
Many people who possess real organizational power have a characteristic demeanor. It's the way they project their presence. I call this the power affect. Some people — call them power pretenders — adopt the power affect well before they attain significant organizational power. Unfortunately for their colleagues, and for their organizations, power pretenders can attain organizational power out of proportion to their merit or abilities. Understanding the power affect is therefore important for anyone who aims to attain power, or anyone who works with power pretenders. Read more about this program.