Commenting on the Work of Others

Criticizing the work of others is risky. But we needn't go much beyond "Hi, how's it going" to run into trouble in some situations. A mere comment or innocent query about the work of others might be enough to light the fire. Much has been said and written about how to frame "constructive criticism," including previous posts of my own. [Indeed 2023] [MyHub 2022] I'm certain all these writings have helped some people, but to widen the circle, I'm taking a different approach in this post. This post is written as a field manual for those who want to inflict pain on others by commenting on their work.

When considering how destructive criticism causes pain, clarity can facilitate insight. That insight is valuable to both the giver and receiver of destructive criticism, even when destructiveness is unintentional. And in this approach there's little risk of adding to the toolkits of those intent on malice, because they're already way ahead of anything you or I can imagine. Let's get to it.

Comments and questions about their work

The comments and questions most likely to feel like criticisms are those related to properties of the work that the authors of the work are unable to change. Choose something that might have been decided earlier in the development or design process, but which is so fundamental that changing it now is infeasible. Even better, choose something that was forced on the authors by Senior Management, over the authors' strong objections. It's difficult to find something more irritating than criticizing someone's work on the basis of the errors of their managers.

Even innocent questions can be inflammatory if you structure them right. Asking about the work in a way that attacks the work's authors is the key. For example, consider the question, "I don't understand how to change the name of a task. Can you explain that for me?" Because this question focuses on the state of mind of the questioner, it's relatively non-hostile. It's even a bit self-deprecating. To give it a better chance of seeming to be a hostile criticism, ask it this way: "How do you change the name of a task?" Even better: "Changing the name of a task is very confusing. How is that done?"

Comments about your own work or experience

One Condescension is an indispensable tool of
those intent on inflicting insults on othersindispensable tool of those intent on inflicting insults on others is condescension. For example, instead of asking how to rename a task, try: "When we created the Tangerine System, we had a much simpler task-renaming protocol. Why on earth didn't you use that?" But it isn't necessary to be as openly rude as that. A more devious approach also works: "How would you compare your task-renaming protocol to the much simpler one in the Tangerine System?"

The general principle is simple. Construct your comments in the form, "Unlike you, I'm smart enough to avoid the problem of X." Alternatively, for variety, try "Your approach has problems with X, but when I had a similar task, I exploited X to create a perfect solution."

Providing advice or information unbidden

Advice is welcome when it's requested. But absent a request, advice — even sound advice — is often resented. That's the fundamental principle underlying this third tactic for inflicting pain by commenting on the work of others. Don't offer advice — give it. Don't wait for permission to provide advice. Don't wait for a request for advice. Jump straight to the advice. If possible, advise the authors of the work to do something you know they previously rejected. Even better: advise them to do something they proposed but which was rejected by higher authority. Or advise them to do something that violates the law (Human or Natural). Use the old adage, "If you want to make an omelet, you have to break some eggs." After all, it's their career on the line, not yours.

Last words

All of the above techniques can be effective in many situations. But they all have a better chance of inflicting pain and insult when you execute them in a public setting. The more people present — and the more politically powerful they are — the more negative is the effect.  Top    Next Issue

Are you fed up with tense, explosive meetings? Are you or a colleague the target of a bully? Destructive conflict can ruin organizations. But if we believe that all conflict is destructive, and that we can somehow eliminate conflict, or that conflict is an enemy of productivity, then we're in conflict with Conflict itself. Read 101 Tips for Managing Conflict to learn how to make peace with conflict and make it an organizational asset. Order Now!

Footnotes

Your comments are welcome

About Point Lookout

Thank you for reading this article. I hope you enjoyed it and found it useful, and that you'll consider recommending it to a friend.

This article in its entirety was written by a human being. No machine intelligence was involved in any way.

Point Lookout is a free weekly email newsletter. Browse the archive of past issues. Subscribe for free.

Support Point Lookout by joining the Friends of Point Lookout, as an individual or as an organization.

Do you face a complex interpersonal situation? Send it in, anonymously if you like, and I'll give you my two cents.

Related articles

More articles on Conflict Management:

Lateral Micromanagement

Lateral micromanagement is the unwelcome intrusion by one co-worker into the responsibilities of another. Far more than run-of-the-mill bossiness, it's often a concerted attempt to gain organizational power and rank, and it is toxic to teams.

The Power of Situational Momentum

For many of us, the typical workday presents a series of opportunities to take action. We often approach these situations by choosing among the expected choices. But usually there are choices that exploit situational momentum, and they can be powerful choices indeed.

Grace Under Fire: II

When we debate at work, things sometimes turn unpleasant. Out of control, one party might maneuver the other into losing control. If we have better tools for recognizing these tactics, we're better able to maintain self-control. Here's Part II of such a toolkit.

Quasi-Narcissistic Quasi-Subordinates

One troublesome kind of workplace collaboration includes those that combine people of varied professions and ranks for a specific short-term mission. Many work well, but when one of the group members displays quasi-narcissistic behaviors, trouble looms.

Bullying by Proxy: I

The form of workplace bullying perhaps most often observed involves a bully and a target. Other forms are less obvious. One of these, bullying by proxy, is especially difficult to control, because it so easily evades most anti-bullying policies.

See also Conflict Management and Conflict Management for more related articles.

Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout

Coming April 2: Mitigating the Trauma of Being Laid Off

Trauma is an emotional response to horrible events — accidents, crimes, disasters, physical abuse, emotional abuse, gross injustices — and layoffs. Layoff trauma is real. Employers know how to execute layoffs with compassion, but some act out of cruelty. Know how to defend yourself. Available here and by RSS on April 2.

And on April 9: Defining Workplace Bullying

When we set out to control the incidence of workplace bullying, problem number one is defining bullying behavior. We know much more about bullying in children than we do about adult bullying, and more about adult bullying than we know about workplace bullying. Available here and by RSS on April 9.

Coaching services

I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact Rick for details at rbrentSgXnAlNVWlhxNIJner@ChacAtZoEYrrmofzZnjPoCanyon.com or (650) 787-6475, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.

Get the ebook!

Past issues of Point Lookout are available in six ebooks:

• Get 2001-2 in Geese Don't Land on Twigs (PDF, )
• Get 2003-4 in Why Dogs Wag (PDF, )
• Get 2005-6 in Loopy Things We Do (PDF, )
• Get 2007-8 in Things We Believe That Maybe Aren't So True (PDF, )
• Get 2009-10 in The Questions Not Asked (PDF, )
• Get all of the first twelve years (2001-2012) in The Collected Issues of Point Lookout (PDF, )

Are you a writer, editor or publisher on deadline? Are you looking for an article that will get people talking and get compliments flying your way? You can have 500-1000 words in your inbox in one hour. License any article from this Web site. More info