To gaslight other people is to manipulate them so effectively that they doubt not only their own perceptions of their circumstances but also their recollections of past events. [APA 2023.3] The term comes from the title of a 1938 play and two films of the 1940s, in which an unfaithful husband convinces his wife of his fidelity by causing her to reject her own observations. In its original usage, the term gaslight implies that perpetrator and target are in an intimate romantic relationship.
In recent years, however, the term's usage has broadened. I use the term in this post to apply in any relationship, including workplace relationships unrelated to romance. At work, the tactic is usually employed with a single individual as target, but gaslighting can also serve to manipulate any workgroup, from teams to entire enterprises.
In contexts in which perpetrators have formal power over their targets, such as the supervisor/subordinate relationship at work, perpetrators can abuse their power in order to carry out the gaslighting. Perpetrators can suppress targets' objections, compel statements of support, and even redirect organizational resources to advance their objectives. And targets have few options to defend themselves.
Independent thought and faith in the evidence of one's own observations are among the best protections against gaslighting. These abilities are therefore early targets of perpetrators. One consequence of being "gaslighted" is gradual loss of the ability to notice the gaslighting. The target of an effective gaslighting campaign actually abandons previously held beliefs about reality, and adopts the views the perpetrator repeatedly asserts.
Indicators of gaslighting campaigns at work
Defense against a gaslighting campaign begins with noticing the indicators of gaslighting. Perhaps In contexts in which perpetrators have formal
power over their targets, such as the supervisor-
subordinate relationship at work, perpetrators
can abuse their power to effect the gaslightingthe most direct indicators of a gaslighting campaign are the perpetrator's own words. Below is a collection of statements and phrases perpetrators might use in their efforts to coerce their targets to reject their own observations and judgments in favor of the perpetrator's views of reality. The elements of this collection are meant to represent what we might hear in the context of a project sponsor or senior manager giving direction to a project team.
- That risk you're concerned about just will never happen. We don't need to plan for it.
- That deadline isn't tight. Meeting it will be no problem if you're clever about how you do things.
- Changing that requirement will have little to no impact. I'm sure you can find a way to accommodate the change without causing any delays.
- If you can't easily accommodate this change, you probably should have anticipated the possibility a bit better, wouldn't you agree?
- I need to borrow Jan for a special assignment for just three days. That won't kill you.
- I never said that the customer wanted X. I said they inquired about it, that's all.
- This confusion is embarrassing for us all. From now on, I'll be the one to talk to the customer. If you need any info from them, let me know and I'll take care of it.
- I know they said they wanted X, but Y does almost exactly the same thing. Try adapting Y.
- I'm not asking you to work harder. I'm asking you to work smarter.
- If the customer wants that too, then that's what we have to do.
- These problems are all traceable to Alpha's bad decisions, but now that Alpha is finally gone, you can straighten everything out, OK?
- You're being a perfectionist. Just make it work.
- I know it's not the way you'd like it, but we can easily fix it in version 2.0.
- I got you a one-week extension, which is more than enough if you put your mind to it.
- We don't need to make it do X, because the customer doesn't really need it. Just tell her.
- I'm sure you can finish on time because I have faith in you.
- You're being panicky, that's really no problem at all.
- Don't make a big deal out of this. Just get it done.
Last words
Certainly there are other indicators of gaslighting beyond the perpetrator's own words. Policy is a realm worth monitoring carefully. For example, policies that limit access to information or contact with organizational elements beyond the team are among perpetrator favorites. Awareness is the first level of defense. Top Next Issue
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Footnotes
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- Responding to Threats: III
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- Dealing with Rapid-Fire Attacks
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