Point Lookout: a free weekly publication of Chaco Canyon Consulting
Volume 1, Issue 41;   October 10, 2001: The Mind Reading Trap

The Mind Reading Trap

by

When we think, "Paul doesn't trust me," we could be fooling ourselves into believing that we can read his mind. Unless he has directly expressed his distrust, we're just guessing, and we can reach whatever conclusion we wish, unconstrained by reality. In project management, as anywhere else, that's a recipe for trouble.
A bear trap

To manage projects effectively, we must know the true state of the effort. We must distinguish between what we know for certain and what we merely believe. Yet many of us have acquired a habit of speaking and thinking — "mind reading" — that limits our ability to make this important distinction.

Have you ever said, "I know what you're thinking…"? It's a common expression. It's less common, though, to actually know what someone else is thinking. Heck, most of the time, we have trouble knowing our own minds. Yet, we use language that can lead us to believe that we can read minds. An example from The Wall Street Journal (August 23, 2001):

Stocks finished higher as economic worries sparked by the Fed's decision to reduce interest rates again gave way to a more accommodating view of corporate-profit potential.

I suppose (though I don't know) that the authors didn't research the opinions of all stock traders. Maybe they made a pretty good guess, but it's probably just a guess — it could be wrong. If you doubt that, maybe you haven't checked your 401(k) in the past year or two.

Mind reading is so pervasive that we no longer see it. Here are some key phrases that might indicate mind-reading:

  • The real reason you're doing that is
  • You're only saying that because
  • Don't hand me that
  • You know what I mean
  • You would never do that unless

Whether you're mind reading depends on the answer to "How do you know that?" If the answer doesn't involve a direct report from the owner of the mind in question, you might be mind reading.

We don't actually know
what someone else is thinking.
Heck, most of the time,
we have trouble knowing
our own minds.
When we accept uncritically any supposition that could be erroneous — such as a conclusion based on mind reading — then anything we derive from it is questionable. It's dangerous enough when we do it personally, but in the project context, we could be risking the well being of many others in addition to ourselves. Some examples:

  • Our customers aren't requesting that feature, but let's include it — we know what's best for them.
  • They're estimating $11.2 million for that project, but they always pad estimates — I'll cut it 30%.
  • They always cut our estimates, so let's pad them by 30%.
  • The engineers never cooperate if we just ask them to, so make it a condition of employment. If they don't do it, they're out.

It's difficult to catch yourself mind reading, so watch the people around you for one week. Collect the phrases they use. Gradually your observation skills will improve, and soon you'll be better able to observe yourself. Take care, though — if you ever come to conclude that someone else is mind reading, you're mind reading. Go to top Top  Next issue: Running Your Personal Squirrel Cage  Next Issue

Rick BrennerThe article you've been reading is an archived issue of Point Lookout, my weekly newsletter. I've been publishing it since January, 2001, free to all subscribers, over the Web, and via RSS. You can help keep it free by donating either as an individual or as an organization. You'll receive in return my sincere thanks — and the comfort of knowing that you've helped to propagate insights and perspectives that can help make our workplaces a little more human-friendly. More

For more on mind reading and how we make meaning out of our observations, see "Making Meaning," Point Lookout for January 16, 2008.

Your comments are welcome

Would you like to see your comments posted here? rbrenyrWpTxHuyCrjZbUpner@ChacnoFNuSyWlVzCaGfooCanyon.comSend me your comments by email, or by Web form.

About Point Lookout

This article in its entirety was written by a 
          human being. No machine intelligence was involved in any way.Thank you for reading this article. I hope you enjoyed it and found it useful, and that you'll consider recommending it to a friend.

This article in its entirety was written by a human being. No machine intelligence was involved in any way.

Point Lookout is a free weekly email newsletter. Browse the archive of past issues. Subscribe for free.

Support Point Lookout by joining the Friends of Point Lookout, as an individual or as an organization.

Do you face a complex interpersonal situation? Send it in, anonymously if you like, and I'll give you my two cents.

Related articles

More articles on Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness:

My right foot. Arrow indicates the location of the break.My Right Foot
There's nothing like an injury or illness to teach you some life lessons. Here are some things I learned recently when I temporarily lost some of my independence.
A cup of coffeeHow to Procrastinate
You probably know many techniques for procrastinating, and use them regularly, but vociferously deny doing so. That's what makes this such a delicate subject that I've been delaying writing this article. Well, those days are over.
A waterfall and spray cliff in the mountains of VirginiaDecisions: How Looping Back Helps
Group decision making often proceeds through a series of steps including forming a list of options, researching them, ranking them, reducing them, and finally selecting one. Often, this linear approach yields disappointing results. Why?
Barack Obama, 44th President of the United StatesSpeak for Influence
Among the factors that determine the influence of contributions in meetings are the content of the contribution and how it fits into the conversation. Most of the time, we focus too much on content and not enough on fit.
An old-fashioned typewriterSix Traps in Email or Text: I
Most of us invest significant effort in communicating by email or any of the various forms of text messaging. Much of the effort is spent correcting confusions caused, in part, by a few traps. Knowing what those traps are can save much trouble.

See also Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness and Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness for more related articles.

Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout

A white water rafting team completes its courseComing December 11: White Water Rafting as a Metaphor for Group Development
Tuckman's model of small group development, best known as "Forming-Storming-Norming-Performing," applies better to development of some groups than to others. We can use a metaphor to explore how the model applies to Storming in task-oriented work groups. Available here and by RSS on December 11.
Tuckman's stages of group developmentAnd on December 18: Subgrouping and Conway's Law
When task-oriented work groups address complex tasks, they might form subgroups to address subtasks. The structure of the subgroups and the order in which they form depend on the structure of the group's task and the sequencing of the subtasks. Available here and by RSS on December 18.

Coaching services

I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact Rick for details at rbrenyrWpTxHuyCrjZbUpner@ChacnoFNuSyWlVzCaGfooCanyon.com or (650) 787-6475, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.

Get the ebook!

Past issues of Point Lookout are available in six ebooks:

Reprinting this article

Are you a writer, editor or publisher on deadline? Are you looking for an article that will get people talking and get compliments flying your way? You can have 500-1000 words in your inbox in one hour. License any article from this Web site. More info

Follow Rick

Send email or subscribe to one of my newsletters Follow me at LinkedIn Follow me at X, or share a post Subscribe to RSS feeds Subscribe to RSS feeds
The message of Point Lookout is unique. Help get the message out. Please donate to help keep Point Lookout available for free to everyone.
Technical Debt for Policymakers BlogMy blog, Technical Debt for Policymakers, offers resources, insights, and conversations of interest to policymakers who are concerned with managing technical debt within their organizations. Get the millstone of technical debt off the neck of your organization!
52 Tips for Leaders of Project-Oriented OrganizationsAre your project teams plagued by turnover, burnout, and high defect rates? Turn your culture around.
Go For It: Sometimes It's Easier If You RunBad boss, long commute, troubling ethical questions, hateful colleague? Learn what we can do when we love the work but not the job.
Reader Comments About My Newsletter
A sampling:
  • Your stuff is brilliant! Thank you!
  • You and Scott Adams both secretly work here, right?
  • I really enjoy my weekly newsletters. I appreciate the quick read.
  • A sort of Dr. Phil for Management!
  • …extremely accurate, inspiring and applicable to day-to-day … invaluable.
  • More
101 Tips for Managing ConflictFed up with tense, explosive meetings? Are you the target of a bully? Learn how to make peace with conflict.
Ebooks, booklets and tip books on project management, conflict, writing email, effective meetings and more.
Comprehensive collection of all e-books and e-bookletsSave a bundle and even more important save time! Order the Combo Package and download all ebooks and tips books at once.
If your teams don't yet consistently achieve state-of-the-art teamwork, check out this catalog. Help is just a few clicks/taps away!