Point Lookout: a free weekly publication of Chaco Canyon Consulting
Volume 3, Issue 52;   December 24, 2003: Appreciate the Moment

Appreciate the Moment

by

Last updated: August 8, 2018

Often, we focus our awareness where we aren't or when we aren't. Whether we're in a heated meeting, or blowing out the candles of a birthday cake, being fully present can make our experiences more positive and memorable. Why are we so often someplace else? When we are, how can we come back? Or better, how can we stay fully present when we want to?

Scanning his inbox, Jeff noticed a message about the afternoon meeting. He began reading, but his sister's voice intruded, startling him. "Jeff, are you there? Jeff?" He'd done it again. Reading his email while talking to his sister on the phone, he'd lost track of their conversation, and he'd been sucked into his computer.

"Yes, I'm here," he said, "What were you saying?"

"Jeff. I don't appreciate that. Call me back when you have time to talk." Click.

Jeff hung up the phone, feeling deep regret. He'd just spent almost ten minutes talking with his sister, and he could only vaguely recall what they'd talked about.

A red-tailed hawkTrying to divide his attention, he had failed, hurting both his sister and himself. But even when we don't hurt anyone else, when we divide our attention we cheapen our experience of life.

And sometimes we're not even aware we're doing it. When walking outdoors, we often focus on the near and familiar, and never notice the distant beauty of a hawk wheeling right above us. At home, sorting the junk mail and the bills, we smile distractedly at a child — maybe our own child — who's just presented us with a work of crayon art. And these are relatively harmless examples. Sometimes it hurts much more.

We do know how
to appreciate the moment,
but we're less skilled at
choosing to do so
We all know how to focus on right here, right now. Recall the time you scored the winning point in a game — or the time you didn't. Or think of the moment of your marriage (or divorce), or the first sight or sound of your own child. You remember these moments with clarity, because you were fully present.

Although we know how to appreciate the moment, many of us are less skilled at choosing to do so. Fortunately, we can learn. Here are some tips for appreciating the moment.

Acknowledge distractions
To put a distraction aside, first acknowledge it. Is it a worry? A fear? A pain? Promise yourself to attend to it later, at a particular time. Do whatever you must do to put it aside temporarily.
Notice your breathing
Whatever the moment, you're in it. Appreciating the moment begins with appreciating yourself. And appreciating yourself begins with your own breathing.
Relax from the bottom up
Notice your body. Starting with your feet (your foundation) relax it all, working upwards. Finish with your mind.
Hear what you're hearing
Choose what to listen to. Tune in to what you want to be with right now. A child's giggle. A loved one's voice.
See what you're seeing
Choose what to look at. Focus on what you want to keep as the visual memory of this moment, a treasure to remember always.

Practice alone. Practice with a partner. Practice with the world. Go to top Top  Next issue: Email Antics: II  Next Issue

Rick BrennerThe article you've been reading is an archived issue of Point Lookout, my weekly newsletter. I've been publishing it since January, 2001, free to all subscribers, over the Web, and via RSS. You can help keep it free by donating either as an individual or as an organization. You'll receive in return my sincere thanks — and the comfort of knowing that you've helped to propagate insights and perspectives that can help make our workplaces a little more human-friendly. More

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Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout

Thomas Paine, considered one of the Founding Fathers of the United StatesComing December 12: Effects of Shared Information Bias: II
Shared information bias is widely believed to lead to bad decisions. But over time, it can erode a group's ability to assess reality accurately. That can lead to a widening gap between reality and the group's perceptions of reality. Available here and by RSS on December 12.
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Three feelings are often confused with each other: embarrassment, shame, and guilt. To understand how to cope with these feelings, begin by understanding what different kinds of situations we use when we create these feelings. Available here and by RSS on December 19.

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