Scanning his inbox, Jeff noticed a message about the afternoon meeting. He began reading, but his sister's voice intruded, startling him. "Jeff, are you there? Jeff?" He'd done it again. Reading his email while talking to his sister on the phone, he'd lost track of their conversation, and he'd been sucked into his computer.
"Yes, I'm here," he said, "What were you saying?"
"Jeff. I don't appreciate that. Call me back when you have time to talk." Click.
Jeff hung up the phone, feeling deep regret. He'd just spent almost ten minutes talking with his sister, and he could only vaguely recall what they'd talked about.
Trying to divide his attention, he had failed, hurting both his sister and himself. But even when we don't hurt anyone else, when we divide our attention we cheapen our experience of life.
And sometimes we're not even aware we're doing it. When walking outdoors, we often focus on the near and familiar, and never notice the distant beauty of a hawk wheeling right above us. At home, sorting the junk mail and the bills, we smile distractedly at a child — maybe our own child — who's just presented us with a work of crayon art. And these are relatively harmless examples. Sometimes it hurts much more.
We do know how
to appreciate the moment,
but we're less skilled at
choosing to do soWe all know how to focus on right here, right now. Recall the time you scored the winning point in a game — or the time you didn't. Or think of the moment of your marriage (or divorce), or the first sight or sound of your own child. You remember these moments with clarity, because you were fully present.
Although we know how to appreciate the moment, many of us are less skilled at choosing to do so. Fortunately, we can learn. Here are some tips for appreciating the moment.
- Acknowledge distractions
- To put a distraction aside, first acknowledge it. Is it a worry? A fear? A pain? Promise yourself to attend to it later, at a particular time. Do whatever you must do to put it aside temporarily.
- Notice your breathing
- Whatever the moment, you're in it. Appreciating the moment begins with appreciating yourself. And appreciating yourself begins with your own breathing.
- Relax from the bottom up
- Notice your body. Starting with your feet (your foundation) relax it all, working upwards. Finish with your mind.
- Hear what you're hearing
- Choose what to listen to. Tune in to what you want to be with right now. A child's giggle. A loved one's voice.
- See what you're seeing
- Choose what to look at. Focus on what you want to keep as the visual memory of this moment, a treasure to remember always.
Practice alone. Practice with a partner. Practice with the world. Top
Next Issue
The article you've been reading is an archived issue of Point Lookout, my weekly newsletter. I've been publishing it since January, 2001, free to all subscribers, over the Web, and via RSS. You can help keep it free by donating either as an individual or as an organization. You'll receive in return my sincere thanks — and the comfort of knowing that you've helped to propagate insights and perspectives that can help make our workplaces a little more human-friendly. More
Your comments are welcome
Would you like to see your comments posted here? rbrenaXXxGCwVgbgLZDuRner@ChacDjdMAATPdDNJnrSwoCanyon.comSend me your comments by email, or by Web form.About Point Lookout
Thank you for reading this article. I hope you enjoyed it and
found it useful, and that you'll consider recommending it to a friend.
This article in its entirety was written by a human being. No machine intelligence was involved in any way.
Point Lookout is a free weekly email newsletter. Browse the archive of past issues. Subscribe for free.
Support Point Lookout by joining the Friends of Point Lookout, as an individual or as an organization.
Do you face a complex interpersonal situation? Send it in, anonymously if you like, and I'll give you my two cents.
Related articles
More articles on Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness:
Taming the Time Card
- Filling out time cards may seem maddeningly trivial, but the data they collect can be critically important
to project managers. Why is it so important? And what does an effective, yet minimally intrusive time
reporting system look like?
Still More Things I've Learned Along the Way
- When I have an important insight, or when I'm taught a lesson, I write it down. Here's another batch
from my personal collection.
Nine Brainstorming Demotivators: II
- Brainstorming sessions produce output of notoriously variable quality, but understanding what compromises
quality can help elevate it. Here's Part II of a set of nine phenomena that can limit the quality of
contributions to brainstorming sessions.
The Goal Is Not the Path
- Sometimes, when reaching a goal is more difficult than we thought at first, instead of searching for
another way to get there, we adjust the goal. There are alternatives.
Disjoint Awareness
- In collaborations, awareness of how our own work might interfere with the work of others is essential.
Unless our awareness of others' work — and their awareness of ours — matches reality, the
collaboration's objective is at risk.
See also Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness for more related articles.
Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout
Coming August 13: Leaving High-Touch Jobs: How
- High-touch jobs require that we work closely with colleagues, teammates, clients, or suppliers. Because choosing to leave such a job affects all these people, and the person departing, we would do well find a path that respects all involved. Here are some suggestions. Available here and by RSS on August 13.
And on August 20: Earned Value and Goodhart's Law
- Earned Value Management, widely used approach to project management, is most useful in contexts in which estimators are familiar with the Tasks, the Technologies, and the Teams. But even then, it is vulnerable to the tactics of those who game the metrics. Available here and by RSS on August 20.
Coaching services
I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact Rick for details at rbrenaXXxGCwVgbgLZDuRner@ChacDjdMAATPdDNJnrSwoCanyon.com or (650) 787-6475, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.
Get the ebook!
Past issues of Point Lookout are available in six ebooks:
- Get 2001-2 in Geese Don't Land on Twigs (PDF, )
- Get 2003-4 in Why Dogs Wag (PDF, )
- Get 2005-6 in Loopy Things We Do (PDF, )
- Get 2007-8 in Things We Believe That Maybe Aren't So True (PDF, )
- Get 2009-10 in The Questions Not Asked (PDF, )
- Get all of the first twelve years (2001-2012) in The Collected Issues of Point Lookout (PDF, )
Are you a writer, editor or publisher on deadline? Are you looking for an article that will get people talking and get compliments flying your way? You can have 500-1000 words in your inbox in one hour. License any article from this Web site. More info
Follow Rick
Recommend this issue to a friend
Send an email message to a friend
rbrenaXXxGCwVgbgLZDuRner@ChacDjdMAATPdDNJnrSwoCanyon.comSend a message to Rick
A Tip A Day feed
Point Lookout weekly feed
