Responding to Rumors

Our first reactions to false, damaging rumors about ourselves are often defensiveness, anger, or even counterattack. Most of these responses are ineffective. We make more constructive choices when we understand rumor dynamics.

Rumors can become more damaging with age

As rumors propagate, they evolve, because each of us applies our own filters to what we see, hear, and remember, and some of us give rumors a little spin as we move them along.

Respond quickly. Waiting just gives the rumor time to spread and to evolve. Don't be concerned that your response might add to the spread of the rumor, because the rumor spreads on its own anyway.

Most rumors are credible

When a rumor spreads, it's probably credible, because people are more likely to retell rumors that they themselves believe. The credibility of a rumor depends not on the sources of the information, but on how well the rumor fits with prejudices, stereotypes, or widely held images. For example, a rumor about a workplace love affair spreads more rapidly if the couple is known to travel together or lunch together.

To respond, begin by identifying the elements that make the rumor credible. Since the rumor's credibility in part derives from your own behavior, change your behavior.

Packaged rumors spread more rapidly

We respond to rumors
more constructively
when we understand
their dynamics

A rumor's "packaging" usually appears as a preamble: "You can't repeat this or tell anyone I told you." We feel a little safer retelling a packaged rumor because we have assurances that the trace path will exclude us. Packaging speeds propagation.

If you hear a packaged rumor, assume that it has spread everywhere. Don't waste time trying to trace it to a source. You can probably guess the source anyway.

Quelling a rumor is very difficult

Nobody controls where a rumor travels or how fast. Controlling a rumor that's already circulating is impossible — once a rumor is loose, it circulates on its own, possibly indefinitely.

Instead of trying to control a rumor, figure out how to get the truth to circulate just as fast as the rumor. Rely on respected third parties to circulate independently verifiable factual information that directly contradicts as much of the rumor as possible.

Respond constructively

If you become defensive, depressed, or irate, your behavior will seem to confirm the rumor — you will seem to have been caught in the act.

Acknowledge the existence of the rumor, and address it seriously. Remember always that the people who believe the rumor might feel criticized if you dismiss it as transparently false.

You'll do much better when you can maintain your self-esteem. Make it your first priority — hang on with all your might to the belief that you're a fine person. When you believe in yourself, anything else you do is more likely to succeed.  Top    Next Issue

Is every other day a tense, anxious, angry misery as you watch people around you, who couldn't even think their way through a game of Jacks, win at workplace politics and steal the credit and glory for just about everyone's best work including yours? Read 303 Secrets of Workplace Politics, filled with tips and techniques for succeeding in workplace politics. More info

Your comments are welcome

About Point Lookout

Thank you for reading this article. I hope you enjoyed it and found it useful, and that you'll consider recommending it to a friend.

Point Lookout is a free weekly email newsletter. Browse the archive of past issues. Subscribe for free.

Support Point Lookout by joining the Friends of Point Lookout, as an individual or as an organization.

Do you face a complex interpersonal situation? Send it in, anonymously if you like, and I'll give you my two cents.

Related articles

More articles on Emotions at Work:

Demanding Forgiveness

Working together under stress, we do sometimes hurt each other. Delivering apologies is a skill critical to repairing those hurts and maintaining our relationships.

Those Across-the-Board Cuts That Aren't

One widespread feature of organizational life is the announcement of across-the-board cuts. Although they're announced, they're rarely "across-the-board." What's behind this pattern? How can we change it to a more effective, truthful pattern?

When Change Is Hard: I

Sometimes changing organizations goes smoothly. More often, it doesn't. Whatever methodology we use — and there are many methodologies available — difficulties can arise. When change is hard, what's happening? What makes change hard?

Why Scope Expands: I

Scope creep is depressingly familiar. Its anti-partner, spontaneous and stealthy scope contraction, has no accepted name, and is rarely seen. Why?

Compulsive Talkers at Work: Peers I

Our exploration of approaches for dealing with compulsive talkers now continues, with Part I of a set of suggestions for what to do when a peer interferes with your work by talking compulsively.

See also Emotions at Work and Effective Communication at Work for more related articles.

Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout

Coming June 19: I Don't Understand: II

Unclear, incomplete, or ambiguous statements are problematic, in part, because we need to seek clarification. How can we do that without seeming to be hostile, threatening, or disrespectful? Available here and by RSS on June 19.

And on June 26: Appearance Antipatterns: I

Appearances can be deceiving. Just as we can misinterpret the actions and motivations of others, others can misinterpret our own actions and motivations. But we can take steps to limit these effects. Available here and by RSS on June 26.

Coaching services

I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact Rick for details at rbrengTUAmvHBdPtPnXxzner@ChacPRajdYamyjbjfrasoCanyon.com or (650) 787-6475, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.

Get the ebook!

Past issues of Point Lookout are available in six ebooks:

• Get 2001-2 in Geese Don't Land on Twigs (PDF, USD 11.95)
• Get 2003-4 in Why Dogs Wag (PDF, USD 11.95)
• Get 2005-6 in Loopy Things We Do (PDF, USD 11.95)
• Get 2007-8 in Things We Believe That Maybe Aren't So True (PDF, USD 11.95)
• Get 2009-10 in The Questions Not Asked (PDF, USD 11.95)
• Get all of the first twelve years (2001-2012) in The Collected Issues of Point Lookout (PDF, USD 28.99)

Are you a writer, editor or publisher on deadline? Are you looking for an article that will get people talking and get compliments flying your way? You can have 500 words in your inbox in one hour. License any article from this Web site. More info

Public seminars

The Power Affect: How We Express Our Personal Power

Many people who possess real organizational power have a characteristic demeanor. It's the way they project their presence. I call this the power affect. Some people — call them power pretenders — adopt the power affect well before they attain significant organizational power. Unfortunately for their colleagues, and for their organizations, power pretenders can attain organizational power out of proportion to their merit or abilities. Understanding the power affect is therefore important for anyone who aims to attain power, or anyone who works with power pretenders. Read more about this program.

• A recording of a program presented 6:00 PM June 29 (Eastern Time), Monthly Webinar, Technobility Webinar Series. You can earn 1.0 Category 'A' PDU by viewing this program. View this program now.