Your Wisdom Box

Once, when I was a student, I went to dinner with four friends. I drove. Tooling down the freeway at my customary speed (a little too fast), I suddenly realized, "Hey, I've got four people in the car with me. Maybe I better slow down." So I did.

Almost immediately, around a tight turn in the road, an accident-in-progress came into view. I slowed sharply, and threaded my way through the wrecks that were occurring all around us. Somehow we got through, and I pulled over to calm down and recover my wits. A multi-car pile-up now blocked all lanes behind us — ours was the last vehicle to get through it unscathed.

My inner wisdom was talking to me that night, saying "Slow down!" And yours talks to you, more often than you know.

Have you ever made a decision and then immediately afterwards, have you instantly known that it was a mistake? Or have you ever made a decision with inadequate information, and at the same time, have you been absolutely certain that you were doing the right thing?

Have you ever had
a strong feeling that
you might have just made
a mistake? Your Wisdom
Box was talking to youIf these things have happened to you, then you know how to contact your inner wisdom. Your "Wisdom Box," as Virginia Satir used to call it, is a source of knowledge about how the world works. We all have Wisdom Boxes. What's in your Wisdom Box is uniquely yours, and it's part of what makes you uniquely you.

Here are some typical Wisdom Box interactions:

• When you think, "I knew I shouldn't have done that," you could be remembering what your Wisdom Box told you earlier.
• When you think, "I know I shouldn't do this, but…" you could be in the midst of rejecting what your Wisdom Box is telling you.
• When you have the feeling, "I know that the right thing to do is <something>, but I'm scared (or worried, or unsure)," then you could be hearing from your Wisdom Box. You already know what you need to do — all you need is the Courage to do it.
• When you think, "I have to" or "I have no choice," you've lost touch with your Wisdom Box. There are always choices.

Get in touch with your Wisdom Box. Open it up now and then — oil the hinges of its lid, so it opens easily and smoothly. Find out what's in there already, and add things from time to time. Consult it when you're making decisions, and when it tells you to slow down, slow down.  Top    Next Issue

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In disputes or in problem solving sessions, when we can't seem to come to agreement, we often attribute the difficulty to miscommunication, histories of disagreements, hidden agendas, or "personality clashes." Sometimes the cause is much simpler. Sometimes the concept vocabularies of the parties don't overlap. Available here and by RSS on July 15.

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