Constructive conflict is creative. Groups engaged in constructive conflict can produce results that are often superior to what they could have achieved without conflict. But when conflict turns toxic, both results and relationships can suffer. Resolving toxic conflict can limit the damage it does, but some damage often remains. That's one reason why preventing toxic conflict is a strategy superior to effectively resolving that same conflict.
Here are some guidelines for preventing toxic conflicts from forming.
- Understand the Fundamental Attribution Error
- The Fundamental Attribution Error (FAE) is the human tendency to explain the behavior of others by attributing too much to character (and especially character flaws), and not enough to circumstances (and especially extenuating circumstances).
- Because of the FAE, we sometimes experience remarks as intentional attacks, when they are actually evidence that the person making the remark is misinformed. The FAE leads us to anger and frustration when we experience unpleasant consequences of others' behavior. Similarly, when the actions of others cause us difficulty, awareness of the Fundamental Attribution Error makes us less likely to experience irritation.
- Understand the online disinhibition effect
- The online disinhibition effect explains why toxic conflict erupts so easily in virtual environments. Briefly, because the virtual environment lacks ways of connecting individuals with the consequences of antisocial behavior, the virtual environment suppresses inhibitions that limit such behavior in the face-to-face context. See "Toxic Conflict in Virtual Teams: Dissociative Anonymity," Point Lookout for April 3, 2013, for more.
- Educate people about this phenomenon. When we know what can happen, when we have a shared understanding of the phenomenon, and when we have a name for it, we can deal with it better when it occurs. More important, we're less likely to fall into the difficulty.
- Choose communications media carefully
- In communications, In communications, the greater
the need for delicacy,
the more necessary are
immediacy and privacythe greater the need for delicacy, the more necessary are immediacy and privacy. Communications media vary widely in their degree of immediacy and in the privacy they afford.
- For example, email is dangerous. Many toxic conflicts arise from the simple act of using email to sort out honest but passionate disagreements. This problem is so widespread that it has a name: "flame war." Telephone is somewhat better than email, but still dangerous. Choose communications media carefully.
- Be intentional about building trust
- Trust doesn't just happen. It must be built intentionally, and carefully maintained. Workgroups that try to collaborate, while investing too little in building and maintaining trust, are especially vulnerable to toxic conflict.
- Become a student of trust-building strategies. Because the effectiveness of such strategies is strongly culture-dependent, recognize that the answers for your organization might require some original thought. But to get you started, take a look at "Express Your Appreciation and Trust," Point Lookout for January 16, 2002, and "Creating Trust," Point Lookout for January 21, 2009. And remember, abandoning trust-eroding strategies can itself be a trust-building strategy. For example, reducing the incidence of split assignments can reduce trust erosion. See "How to Spot a Troubled Project Before the Trouble Starts" for more.
Are you fed up with tense, explosive meetings? Are you or a colleague the target of a bully? Destructive conflict can ruin organizations. But if we believe that all conflict is destructive, and that we can somehow eliminate conflict, or that conflict is an enemy of productivity, then we're in conflict with Conflict itself. Read 101 Tips for Managing Conflict to learn how to make peace with conflict and make it an organizational asset. Order Now!
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More articles on Conflict Management:
- Peek-a-Boo and Leadership
- Great leaders know what to say, what not to say, and when to say or not say it, sometimes with stunning
effect. Consistently effective leadership requires superior empathy skills. Here are some things to
do to improve your empathy skills.
- Managing Pressure: Communications and Expectations
- Pressed repeatedly for "status" reports, you might guess that they don't want status —
they want progress. Things can get so nutty that responding to the status requests gets in the way of
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- Dismissive Gestures: II
- In the modern organization, since direct verbal insults are considered "over the line," we've
developed a variety of alternatives, including a class I call "dismissive gestures." They
hurt personally, and they harm the effectiveness of the organization. Here's Part II of a little catalog
of dismissive gestures.
- Bemused Detachment
- Much of the difficulty between people at work is avoidable if only we can find ways to slow down our
responses to each other. When we hurry, we react without thinking. Here's a suggestion for increasing
comity by slowing down.
- So You Want the Bullying to End: I
- If you're the target of a workplace bully, you probably want the bullying to end. If you've ever been
the target of a workplace bully, you probably remember wanting it to end. But how it ends can be more
important than whether or when it ends.
Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout
- Coming July 24: The Stupidity Attribution Error
- In workplace debates, we sometimes conclude erroneously that only stupidity can explain why our debate partners fail to grasp the elegance or importance of our arguments. There are many other possibilities. Available here and by RSS on July 24.
- And on July 31: More Things I've Learned Along the Way: IV
- When I have an important insight, or when I'm taught a lesson, I write it down. Here's Part IV from my personal collection. Available here and by RSS on July 31.
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