Point Lookout: a free weekly publication of Chaco Canyon Consulting
Volume 22, Issue 12;   March 30, 2022: More Things I've Learned Along the Way: V

More Things I've Learned Along the Way: V

by

When I gain an important insight, or when I learn a lesson, I make a note. Example: If you're interested in changing how a social construct operates, knowing how it came to be the way it is can be much less useful than knowing what keeps it the way it is.

When I learn something, or when I witness someone else learning something, I sometimes wish I had learned it long ago. If it could have saved me trouble, or led me somewhere I find appealing, I write it down. Here's another installment from my growing collection.

  • Just as hope is not a strategy, attempting the impossible is not gambling. With gambling, there's a chance of success.
  • Estimates are projected results calculated from data gathered from previous efforts. An "estimate" without calculations from past data is merely an opinion.
  • Someone asking you to do something doesn't make it your job. Before you take on a task, decide whether it's your job to do it.
  • I've made a lot of mistakes in my life. The ones I regret most are the reruns.
  • When I feel offended by what someone said to me, I often forget that what offended me might not have been what was said. What offended me was how I interpreted what was said.
  • Not all help is advice; not all advice is help. Advice is more likely to help when it's sought.
  • A happy dogWhen different pieces of the knowledge required for recognizing the need for change are dispersed in the minds of people who don't communicate much with each other, the organization will be very slow to see the value of making the change. Instead of forcing that change, try first to introduce people to one another.
  • What we call stupidity rarely is that. It might instead be ignorance, compulsion, coercion, narrow-mindedness, habit, fear, or shame. Just for examples.
  • Making something change in the timeframe you prefer can be far more difficult than waiting for it to change at a time when it's ready to change. Waiting might be the better option. Consider it carefully.
  • If you're interested in changing how a social construct operates, knowing how it came to be the way it is can be much less useful than knowing what keeps it the way it is.
  • It is said that the path to greatness passes through humility. Even so, seeking the path to greatness is one sure way to never get there. Greatness is an unintended consequence of intentionally achieving something else that's really important.
  • Comebacks to abusive comments are ineffective when they dawn on you the next day in the shower. Find ways to make the dawn come early enough for the light to provide useful illumination.
  • It's often said that there's no such thing as a stupid question. There's also no such thing as a question you can't be ridiculed for asking. You can wait for someone else to risk asking that question, but sometimes a little ridicule is the price of knowledge.Not all help is advice; not all
    advice is help. Advice is more
    likely to help when it's sought.
  • Be very careful to avoid starting sentences with "never."
  • Many Human Resources people are genuinely concerned with targets of bullies, and they do want to help. Still, their primary function is protecting the organization. Bullies' targets who want real help had best look elsewhere.
  • There is no overlap between bullying and "tough management." If it feels like bullying, it almost certainly is bullying, and nothing more.
  • "Done" is a fine goal. But "done for now" can be a more fitting goal when the only paths to "done" that are visible right now are high risk and irrevocable.
  • Non-verbal retorts can be powerful. Even when they aren't quite powerful enough, they do have a redeeming quality: they can't be misquoted.
  • If you're the first in your personal network to use a particular Internet adage, and you aren't its originator, you're spending too much time on line.
  • A challenge to your use of terms or language can be a proxy for a challenge to the substance of your position. The choice to mask the real challenge could indicate that the challenger feels that the challenge is inherently weak.
  • Although we're all unique, some of us are different from most in ways that are immediately evident to everyone. Every moment of every day can be risky for them. Appreciate and admire their courage.
  • Credit others for their contributions. And know that when proposing an alternative to someone else's idea, it's risky to personalize the idea by speaking of "your approach." Personalizing creates equivalence between accepting your alternative and rejecting the other person as a being. Speak instead of "Option A" or "Option 1."

You probably have a collection like this, but maybe it isn't written down. Something magical happens for me when I write them down. I tend to remember them when I need them. If you haven't written down your collection, try it. First in this series  Go to top Top  Next issue: The Risks of Rehearsals  Next Issue

Go For It: Sometimes It's Easier If You RunLove the work but not the job? Bad boss, long commute, troubling ethical questions, hateful colleague? This ebook looks at what we can do to get more out of life at work. It helps you get moving again! Read Go For It! Sometimes It's Easier If You Run, filled with tips and techniques for putting zing into your work life. Order Now!

Your comments are welcome

Would you like to see your comments posted here? rbrendbTtLLSVlUPPCNkAner@ChacthFxWKdRwnLylOCDoCanyon.comSend me your comments by email, or by Web form.

About Point Lookout

Thank you for reading this article. I hope you enjoyed it and found it useful, and that you'll consider recommending it to a friend.

Point Lookout is a free weekly email newsletter. Browse the archive of past issues. Subscribe for free.

Support Point Lookout by joining the Friends of Point Lookout, as an individual or as an organization.

Do you face a complex interpersonal situation? Send it in, anonymously if you like, and I'll give you my two cents.

Related articles

More articles on Ethics at Work:

The rabbit that went down the rabbit holeIt Might Be Legal, but It's Unethical
Now that CEOs will be held personally accountable for statements they make about their organizations, we can all expect to be held to higher standards of professional ethics. Some professions have formal codes of ethics, but most don't. What ethical principles guide you?
A horseEthical Influence: II
When we influence others as they're making tough decisions, it's easy to enter a gray area. How can we be certain that our influence isn't manipulation? How can we influence others ethically?
An actual red herringSome Truths About Lies: IV
Extended interviews provide multiple opportunities for detecting lies by people intent on deception. Here's Part IV of our little collection of lie detection techniques.
A happy dogMore Things I've Learned Along the Way: IV
When I gain an important insight, or when I learn a lesson, I write it down. Here's Part IV from my personal collection. Example: When it comes to disputes and confusion, one person is enough.
The Scapegoat by William Holman Hunt (1827-1910)Red Flags: III
Early signs of troubles in collaborations include toxic conflict, elevated turnover, and anti-patterns in communication. But among the very earliest red flags are abuses of power. They're more significant than other red flags because abuses of power can convert any collaboration into a morass of destructive politics.

See also Ethics at Work and Effective Communication at Work for more related articles.

Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout

The future site of 2 World Trade Center as it appeared in 2013Coming October 5: Downscoping Under Pressure: I
When projects overrun their budgets and/or schedules, we sometimes "downscope" to save time and money. The tactic can succeed — and fail. Three common anti-patterns involve politics, the sunk cost effect, and cognitive biases that distort estimates. Available here and by RSS on October 5.
A hummingbird feeding on the nectar of a flowerAnd on October 12: Downscoping Under Pressure: II
We sometimes "downscope" projects to bring them back on budget and schedule when they're headed for overruns. Downscoping doesn't always work. Cognitive biases like the sunk cost effect and confirmation bias can distort decisions about how to downscope. Available here and by RSS on October 12.

Coaching services

I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact Rick for details at rbrendbTtLLSVlUPPCNkAner@ChacthFxWKdRwnLylOCDoCanyon.com or (650) 787-6475, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.

Get the ebook!

Past issues of Point Lookout are available in six ebooks:

Reprinting this article

Are you a writer, editor or publisher on deadline? Are you looking for an article that will get people talking and get compliments flying your way? You can have 500-1000 words in your inbox in one hour. License any article from this Web site. More info

Follow Rick

Send email or subscribe to one of my newsletters Follow me at LinkedIn Follow me at Twitter, or share a tweet Subscribe to RSS feeds Subscribe to RSS feeds
The message of Point Lookout is unique. Help get the message out. Please donate to help keep Point Lookout available for free to everyone.
Technical Debt for Policymakers BlogMy blog, Technical Debt for Policymakers, offers resources, insights, and conversations of interest to policymakers who are concerned with managing technical debt within their organizations. Get the millstone of technical debt off the neck of your organization!
Go For It: Sometimes It's Easier If You RunBad boss, long commute, troubling ethical questions, hateful colleague? Learn what we can do when we love the work but not the job.
303 Tips for Virtual and Global TeamsLearn how to make your virtual global team sing.
101 Tips for Managing ChangeAre you managing a change effort that faces rampant cynicism, passive non-cooperation, or maybe even outright revolt?
101 Tips for Effective MeetingsLearn how to make meetings more productive — and more rare.
Exchange your "personal trade secrets" — the tips, tricks and techniques that make you an ace — with other aces, anonymously. Visit the Library of Personal Trade Secrets.
If your teams don't yet consistently achieve state-of-the-art teamwork, check out this catalog. Help is just a few clicks/taps away!
Ebooks, booklets and tip books on project management, conflict, writing email, effective meetings and more.