More Things I've Learned Along the Way: V

When I learn something, or when I witness someone else learning something, I sometimes wish I had learned it long ago. If it could have saved me trouble, or led me somewhere I find appealing, I write it down. Here's another installment from my growing collection.

• Just as hope is not a strategy, attempting the impossible is not gambling. With gambling, there's a chance of success.
• Estimates are projected results calculated from data gathered from previous efforts. An "estimate" without calculations from past data is merely an opinion.
• Someone asking you to do something doesn't make it your job. Before you take on a task, decide whether it's your job to do it.
• I've made a lot of mistakes in my life. The ones I regret most are the reruns.
• When I feel offended by what someone said to me, I often forget that what offended me might not have been what was said. What offended me was how I interpreted what was said.
• Not all help is advice; not all advice is help. Advice is more likely to help when it's sought.
• When different pieces of the knowledge required for recognizing the need for change are dispersed in the minds of people who don't communicate much with each other, the organization will be very slow to see the value of making the change. Instead of forcing that change, try first to introduce people to one another.
• What we call stupidity rarely is that. It might instead be ignorance, compulsion, coercion, narrow-mindedness, habit, fear, or shame. Just for examples.
• Making something change in the timeframe you prefer can be far more difficult than waiting for it to change at a time when it's ready to change. Waiting might be the better option. Consider it carefully.
• If you're interested in changing how a social construct operates, knowing how it came to be the way it is can be much less useful than knowing what keeps it the way it is.
• It is said that the path to greatness passes through humility. Even so, seeking the path to greatness is one sure way to never get there. Greatness is an unintended consequence of intentionally achieving something else that's really important.
• Comebacks to abusive comments are ineffective when they dawn on you the next day in the shower. Find ways to make the dawn come early enough for the light to provide useful illumination.
• It's often said that there's no such thing as a stupid question. There's also no such thing as a question you can't be ridiculed for asking. You can wait for someone else to risk asking that question, but sometimes a little ridicule is the price of knowledge.Not all help is advice; not all
  advice is help. Advice is more
  likely to help when it's sought.
• Be very careful to avoid starting sentences with "never."
• Many Human Resources people are genuinely concerned with targets of bullies, and they do want to help. Still, their primary function is protecting the organization. Bullies' targets who want real help had best look elsewhere.
• There is no overlap between bullying and "tough management." If it feels like bullying, it almost certainly is bullying, and nothing more.
• "Done" is a fine goal. But "done for now" can be a more fitting goal when the only paths to "done" that are visible right now are high risk and irrevocable.
• Non-verbal retorts can be powerful. Even when they aren't quite powerful enough, they do have a redeeming quality: they can't be misquoted.
• If you're the first in your personal network to use a particular Internet adage, and you aren't its originator, you're spending too much time on line.
• A challenge to your use of terms or language can be a proxy for a challenge to the substance of your position. The choice to mask the real challenge could indicate that the challenger feels that the challenge is inherently weak.
• Although we're all unique, some of us are different from most in ways that are immediately evident to everyone. Every moment of every day can be risky for them. Appreciate and admire their courage.
• Credit others for their contributions. And know that when proposing an alternative to someone else's idea, it's risky to personalize the idea by speaking of "your approach." Personalizing creates equivalence between accepting your alternative and rejecting the other person as a being. Speak instead of "Option A" or "Option 1."

You probably have a collection like this, but maybe it isn't written down. Something magical happens for me when I write them down. I tend to remember them when I need them. If you haven't written down your collection, try it.   First issue in this series    Next issue in this series   Top    Next Issue

Love the work but not the job? Bad boss, long commute, troubling ethical questions, hateful colleague? This ebook looks at what we can do to get more out of life at work. It helps you get moving again! Read Go For It! Sometimes It's Easier If You Run, filled with tips and techniques for putting zing into your work life. Order Now!

More things I've learned

Some Things I've Learned Along the Way  [October 19, 2005]

When I have an important insight, I write it down in a little notebook. Here are some items from my personal collection.

More Things I've Learned Along the Way  [December 11, 2013]

Some entries from my personal collection of useful insights.

Still More Things I've Learned Along the Way  [March 30, 2016]

When I have an important insight, or when I'm taught a lesson, I write it down. Here's another batch from my personal collection.

More Things I've Learned Along the Way: IV  [July 31, 2019]

When I gain an important insight, or when I learn a lesson, I write it down. Here's Part IV from my personal collection. Example: When it comes to disputes and confusion, one person is enough.

More Things I've Learned Along the Way: VI  [April 19, 2023]

When I gain an important insight, or when I learn a lesson, I make a note. Example: If you're interested in changing how a social construct operates, knowing how it came to be the way it is can be much less useful than knowing what keeps it the way it is.

More Things I've Learned Along the Way: VII  [June 11, 2025]

When I gain an important insight, or when I learn a lesson, I make a note. Example: If you're interested in changing how a social construct operates, knowing how it came to be the way it is can be much less useful than knowing what keeps it the way it is.

Your comments are welcome

About Point Lookout

Thank you for reading this article. I hope you enjoyed it and found it useful, and that you'll consider recommending it to a friend.

This article in its entirety was written by a human being. No machine intelligence was involved in any way.

Point Lookout is a free weekly email newsletter. Browse the archive of past issues. Subscribe for free.

Support Point Lookout by joining the Friends of Point Lookout, as an individual or as an organization.

Do you face a complex interpersonal situation? Send it in, anonymously if you like, and I'll give you my two cents.

Related articles

More articles on Ethics at Work:

Nonworkplace Politics

When we bring national or local political issues into the workplace — especially the divisive issues — we risk disrupting our relationships, our projects, and the company itself.

Email Ethics

Ethics is the system of right and wrong that forms the foundation of civil society. Yet, when a new technology arrives, explicitly extending the ethical code seems necessary — no matter how civil the society. And so it is with email.

Devious Political Tactics: A Field Manual

Some practitioners of workplace politics use an assortment of devious tactics to accomplish their ends. Since most of us operate in a fairly straightforward manner, the devious among us gain unfair advantage. Here are some of their techniques, and some suggestions for effective responses.

Personnel-Sensitive Risks: I

Some risks and the plans for managing them are personnel-sensitive in the sense that disclosure can harm the enterprise or its people. Since most risk management plans are available to a broad internal audience, personnel-sensitive risks cannot be managed in the customary way. Why not?

Counterproductive Knowledge Work Behavior

With the emergence of knowledge-oriented workplaces, counterproductive work behavior is taking on new forms that are rare or inherently impossible in workplaces where knowledge plays a less central role. Here are some examples.

See also Ethics at Work for more related articles.

Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout

Coming July 9: On Being Seriously Funny at Work

Humor is such a valuable tool at work that it ought to be recognized as an official contribution by team members who provide the laughs that keep some teams from auto-destructing. Even if you're not known for bringing the funny, there are a few simple techniques that can change your image. Available here and by RSS on July 9.

And on July 16: Responding to Unwelcome Events

Unwelcome events have two kinds of effects on decision-makers. One set of effects appears as we respond to events that have actually occurred. Another set manifests itself as we prepare for unwelcome events that haven't yet occurred, but which might occur. Making a wrong decision in either case can be costly. Available here and by RSS on July 16.

Coaching services

I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact Rick for details at rbrenaXXxGCwVgbgLZDuRner@ChacDjdMAATPdDNJnrSwoCanyon.com or (650) 787-6475, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.

Get the ebook!

Past issues of Point Lookout are available in six ebooks:

• Get 2001-2 in Geese Don't Land on Twigs (PDF, )
• Get 2003-4 in Why Dogs Wag (PDF, )
• Get 2005-6 in Loopy Things We Do (PDF, )
• Get 2007-8 in Things We Believe That Maybe Aren't So True (PDF, )
• Get 2009-10 in The Questions Not Asked (PDF, )
• Get all of the first twelve years (2001-2012) in The Collected Issues of Point Lookout (PDF, )

Are you a writer, editor or publisher on deadline? Are you looking for an article that will get people talking and get compliments flying your way? You can have 500-1000 words in your inbox in one hour. License any article from this Web site. More info