Astonishing Successes

You've just learned that something you've been working on is a success — an astonishing success. You probably feel great, and at the same time, you might feel troubled. Maybe you worry that the success isn't real, or that something bad is about to happen, or that from now on, they'll expect much more of you.

These worries can undermine the very natural sense of triumph you might otherwise have. What are these paradoxical feelings, and what can you do to put them to rest?

Here are some examples of the feelings some of us have when we succeed.

I don't deserve it

The concept of "deserving" probably doesn't apply to success. Success isn't necessarily the result of a decision by a panel of judges. Most often, success follows real achievement or random chance or both. Deserving has nothing to do with it.

What if they find out the truth about me?

If you have a low assessment of your own contributions or self-worth, others can sense it, and they adjust their assessments of you accordingly. It's your own view of yourself, rather than the discovery of truth, that leads to the readjustment by others.

Something bad is about to happen

Success is not a sign
that something bad
is about to happen.
The Universe
doesn't keep score.

The universe doesn't keep score. No known mechanism is at work to "even things out."

I'm completely responsible for this success

Almost everything that happens in the modern workplace is a group effort. Feelings of superiority and total responsibility for success aren't likely to be rooted in objective reality.

And here are some perspectives that help allay the anxiety-producing concerns above.

Neither success nor failure is wholly earned

There's an element of chance (or the hand of the divine, depending on your point of view) in all things.

Express your appreciation

If the astonishing success is your own, you probably know some people who helped. Express your appreciation. When the success isn't your own, express your appreciation to those experiencing success. These appreciations feel good, both to the givers and to the receivers.

A sense of Chaos is common

Astonishing success can be a "foreign element" in the sense of the Satir Change Model. Because a foreign element can throw you into Chaos, the better you are at dealing with Change, the better you will be at coping with success.

Expect the fall

After the immediate success experience, many people experience a feeling of relative letdown. Learning to manage these feelings can be very helpful. See "After the Accolades: You Are Still You," Point Lookout for February 13, 2002, for more.

More success is on the way

If you've worked to achieve success, and you've achieved it, then it's more likely to happen again. Your work contributed. Get ready for more success.

Sometimes, my reality does exceed my dreams. But dreams are supposed to be beyond reality — that's what makes them dreams. When they aren't, I remind myself to dream bigger. Can you dream bigger?  Top    Next Issue

Love the work but not the job? Bad boss, long commute, troubling ethical questions, hateful colleague? This ebook looks at what we can do to get more out of life at work. It helps you get moving again! Read Go For It! Sometimes It's Easier If You Run, filled with tips and techniques for putting zing into your work life. Order Now!

For more on achieving and inspiring goals, see "Corrales Mentales," Point Lookout for July 4, 2001; "Commitment Makes It Easier," Point Lookout for October 16, 2002; "Beyond WIIFM," Point Lookout for August 13, 2003; "Your Wishing Wand," Point Lookout for October 8, 2003; "Give It Your All," Point Lookout for May 19, 2004; "Knowing Where You're Going," Point Lookout for April 20, 2005; "Workplace Myths: Motivating People," Point Lookout for July 19, 2006; and "Achieving Goals: Inspiring Passion and Action," Point Lookout for February 14, 2007.

Your comments are welcome

About Point Lookout

Thank you for reading this article. I hope you enjoyed it and found it useful, and that you'll consider recommending it to a friend.

Point Lookout is a free weekly email newsletter. Browse the archive of past issues. Subscribe for free.

Support Point Lookout by joining the Friends of Point Lookout, as an individual or as an organization.

Do you face a complex interpersonal situation? Send it in, anonymously if you like, and I'll give you my two cents.

Related articles

More articles on Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness:

Smart Bookshelves

If you like to browse in bookstores, you probably know the thrill of new ideas and new perspectives. When I find a book worth reading, I want to own it, and that's how it gets to my shelf. Here are some tips to help you read more of what you really want to read.

Discussion Distractions: I

Meetings could be far more productive, if only we could learn to recognize and prevent the distractions that lead us off topic and into the woods. Here is Part I of a small catalog of distractions frequently seen in meetings.

The Deck Chairs of the Titanic: Strategy

Much of what we call work is about as effective and relevant as rearranging the deck chairs of the Titanic. We continue our exploration of futile and irrelevant work, this time emphasizing behaviors related to strategy.

Patching Up the Cracks

When things repeatedly "fall through the cracks," we're not doing the best we can. How can we deal with the problem of repeatedly failing to do what we need to do? How can we patch up the cracks?

Understanding Delegation

It's widely believed that managers delegate some of their own authority and responsibility to their subordinates, who then use that authority and responsibility to get their work done. That view is unfortunate. It breeds micromanagers.

See also Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness for more related articles.

Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout

Coming June 1: Mental Accounting and Technical Debt

In many organizations, technical debt has resisted efforts to control it. We've made important technical advances, but full control might require applying some results of the behavioral economics community, including a concept they call mental accounting. Available here and by RSS on June 1.

And on June 8: Flexible Queue Management

In meetings of 5-30 participants, managing the queue of contributors can be challenging. A strict first-in-first-out order can cause confusion and waste of time if important contributions are delayed. Some meetings need more flexible queue management. Available here and by RSS on June 8.

Coaching services

I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact Rick for details at rbrenEQuetChPjwYBDxmgner@ChacxXTxBssoFmfDfMugoCanyon.com or (650) 787-6475, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.

Get the ebook!

Past issues of Point Lookout are available in six ebooks:

• Get 2001-2 in Geese Don't Land on Twigs (PDF, )
• Get 2003-4 in Why Dogs Wag (PDF, )
• Get 2005-6 in Loopy Things We Do (PDF, )
• Get 2007-8 in Things We Believe That Maybe Aren't So True (PDF, )
• Get 2009-10 in The Questions Not Asked (PDF, )
• Get all of the first twelve years (2001-2012) in The Collected Issues of Point Lookout (PDF, )

Are you a writer, editor or publisher on deadline? Are you looking for an article that will get people talking and get compliments flying your way? You can have 500-1000 words in your inbox in one hour. License any article from this Web site. More info

Public seminars

The Power Affect: How We Express Our Personal Power

Many people who possess real organizational power have a characteristic demeanor. It's the way they project their presence. I call this the power affect. Some people — call them power pretenders — adopt the power affect well before they attain significant organizational power. Unfortunately for their colleagues, and for their organizations, power pretenders can attain organizational power out of proportion to their merit or abilities. Understanding the power affect is therefore important for anyone who aims to attain power, or anyone who works with power pretenders. Read more about this program.

• A recording of a program presented June 29, 2017, Monthly Webinar, sponsored by Technobility Webinar Series. PMI members can earn 1.0 Category 'A' PDU by viewing this program. View this program now.
   
• A recording of a program presented June 29, 2017, Monthly Webinar, sponsored by Technobility Webinar Series. PMI members can earn 1.0 Category 'A' PDU by viewing this program. View this program now.
   

Bullet Points: Mastery or Madness?

Decision makers in modern organizations commonly demand briefings in the form of bullet points or a series of series of bullet points. But this form of presentation has limited value for complex decisions. We need something more. We actually need to think. Briefers who combine the bullet-point format with a variety of persuasion techniques can mislead decision makers, guiding them into making poor decisions. Read more about this program.

• A recording of a program presented June 24, 2020, Monthly Webinar, sponsored by Technobility Webinar Series. PMI members can earn 1.0 Category 'A' PDU by viewing this program. View this program now.
   
• A recording of a program presented June 24, 2020, Monthly Webinar, sponsored by Technobility Webinar Series. PMI members can earn 1.0 Category 'A' PDU by viewing this program. View this program now.