
Lewis and Clark on the Lower Columbia. Painting by Charles Marion Russell.
You've just learned that something you've been working on is a success — an astonishing success. You probably feel great, and at the same time, you might feel troubled. Maybe you worry that the success isn't real, or that something bad is about to happen, or that from now on, they'll expect much more of you.
These worries can undermine the very natural sense of triumph you might otherwise have. What are these paradoxical feelings, and what can you do to put them to rest?
Here are some examples of the feelings some of us have when we succeed.
- I don't deserve it
- The concept of "deserving" probably doesn't apply to success. Success isn't necessarily the result of a decision by a panel of judges. Most often, success follows real achievement or random chance or both. Deserving has nothing to do with it.
- What if they find out the truth about me?
- If you have a low assessment of your own contributions or self-worth, others can sense it, and they adjust their assessments of you accordingly. It's your own view of yourself, rather than the discovery of truth, that leads to the readjustment by others.
- Something bad is about to happen
- Success is not a sign
that something bad
is about to happen.
The Universe
doesn't keep score. - The universe doesn't keep score. No known mechanism is at work to "even things out."
- I'm completely responsible for this success
- Almost everything that happens in the modern workplace is a group effort. Feelings of superiority and total responsibility for success aren't likely to be rooted in objective reality.
And here are some perspectives that help allay the anxiety-producing concerns above.
- Neither success nor failure is wholly earned
- There's an element of chance (or the hand of the divine, depending on your point of view) in all things.
- Express your appreciation
- If the astonishing success is your own, you probably know some people who helped. Express your appreciation. When the success isn't your own, express your appreciation to those experiencing success. These appreciations feel good, both to the givers and to the receivers.
- A sense of Chaos is common
- Astonishing success can be a "foreign element" in the sense of the Satir Change Model. Because a foreign element can throw you into Chaos, the better you are at dealing with Change, the better you will be at coping with success.
- Expect the fall
- After the immediate success experience, many people experience a feeling of relative letdown. Learning to manage these feelings can be very helpful. See "After the Accolades: You Are Still You," Point Lookout for February 13, 2002, for more.
- More success is on the way
- If you've worked to achieve success, and you've achieved it, then it's more likely to happen again. Your work contributed. Get ready for more success.
Sometimes, my reality does exceed my dreams. But dreams are supposed to be beyond reality — that's what makes them dreams. When they aren't, I remind myself to dream bigger. Can you dream bigger? Top
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Love the work but not the job? Bad boss, long commute, troubling ethical questions, hateful colleague? This ebook looks at what we can do to get more out of life at work. It helps you get moving again! Read Go For It! Sometimes It's Easier If You Run, filled with tips and techniques for putting zing into your work life. Order Now!
More about achieving goals
Corrales Mentales [July 4, 2001]
- Perhaps you've achieved every goal you've ever set yourself, but if you're like most of us, some important goals have remained elusive. Maybe you had bad luck, or you weren't in the right place at the right time. But it's just possible that you got in your own way. Getting out of your own way can help make things happen.
Commitment Makes It Easier [October 16, 2002]
- When you face obstacles, sometimes the path around or through them is difficult. Committing yourself to the path lets you focus all your energy on the path you've chosen.
Beyond WIIFM [August 13, 2003]
- Probably the most widely used tactic of persuasion, "What's In It For Me," or WIIFM, can be toxic to an organization. There's a much healthier approach that provides a competitive advantage to organizations that use it.
Your Wishing Wand [October 8, 2003]
- Wishing — for ourselves, for others, or for all — helps us focus on what we really want. When we know what we really want, we're ready to make the little moves that make it happen. Here's a little user's guide for your wishing wand.
Give It Your All [May 19, 2004]
- If you have the time and resources to read this, you probably have a pretty good situation, or you have what it takes to be looking for one. In many ways, you're one of the fortunate few. Are you making the most of the wonderful things you have? Are you giving it your all?
Knowing Where You're Going [April 20, 2005]
- Groups that can't even agree on ``Em''what``/Em'' to do can often find themselves debating about ``Em''how``/Em'' to do it. Here are some simple things to remember to help you focus on defining the goal.
Workplace Myths: Motivating People [July 19, 2006]
- Up and down the org chart, you can find bits of business wisdom about motivating people. We generally believe these theories without question. How many of them are true? How many are myths? What are some of these myths and why do they persist?
Achieving Goals: Inspiring Passion and Action [February 14, 2007]
- Achieving your goals requires both passion and action. Knowing when to emphasize passion and when to emphasize action are the keys to managing yourself, or others, toward achievement.
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Related articles
More articles on Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness:
Retention
- When the job market eases for job seekers, we often see increases in job shifting, as people who've
been biding their time make the jump. Typically, they're the people we most want to keep. How can we
reduce this source of turnover?
How to Reject Expert Opinion: I
- When groups of decision makers confront complex problems, they sometimes choose not to consult experts
or to reject their advice. How do groups come to make these choices?
Speak for Influence
- Among the factors that determine the influence of contributions in meetings are the content of the contribution
and how it fits into the conversation. Most of the time, we focus too much on content and not enough on fit.
Avoid Having to Reframe Failure
- Yet again, we missed our goal — we were late, we were over budget, or we lost to the competition.
But how can we get something good out of it?
Wacky Words of Wisdom: V
- Adages, aphorisms, and "words of wisdom" are true often enough that we accept them as universal.
They aren't. Here's Part V of some widely held beliefs that mislead us at work.
See also Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness and Personal, Team, and Organizational Effectiveness for more related articles.
Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout
Coming June 4: White-Collar Contractor Sabotage
- Modern firms in competitive, dynamic markets draw on many types of employer/employee relationships, including contractors. By providing privileges and perks preferentially among these different types, they risk creating a caldron of resentments that can reduce organizational effectiveness. Available here and by RSS on June 4.
And on June 11: More Things I've Learned Along the Way: VI
- When I gain an important insight, or when I learn a lesson, I make a note. Example: If you're interested in changing how a social construct operates, knowing how it came to be the way it is can be much less useful than knowing what keeps it the way it is. Available here and by RSS on June 11.
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