You've probably heard about bullying lately — both in school and at work. Perhaps your company or organization has a policy about bullying, or maybe one is being created. Maybe you fear someone, or someone makes you feel uncomfortable. Maybe you think some people are bullies. And maybe they are.
Bullying is a tragic but real part of work life. To defend yourself, or just to survive, you must know what bullying is. There is no universally accepted definition yet. For now, you must pick a definition that works for you. Here's mine:
Workplace bullying is any aggressive behavior, associated with work, and primarily intended to cause physical or psychological harm to others.
This definition encompasses a wider range of behavior than most definitions. Let's explore it.
Workplace bullying need not occur in the workplace, though it can. It need not involve abuse of power, though it can. It doesn't have to be part of a repeated pattern, though it can be. It doesn't even have to actually cause physical or psychological harm to others, though it can. All that's required is that it be aggressive, associated with work, and that it be primarily intended to cause harm, physically or psychologically.
For example, suppose Rita falsely accuses you of making mistakes in the accounting system. That might be bullying, if her primary goal is to harm you. For instance, Rita might consider you a rival. To sabotage your career, she accuses you of incompetence. Her primary goal is to harm you. That's bullying.
But if Rita lodges her complaint out of concern for accuracy generally, and if she is simply mistaken about your role in the alleged inaccuracies, the behavior might be oafish, destructive, rude, and disrespectful, but it isn't bullying. Causing you harm would not have been her primary objective.
Jake manages an IT group. He tells himself that he wants his group to be the most productive in the company. He constantly hovers over the people he manages, setting near-impossible goals. Workplace bullying need not
occur in the workplace, though
it can. It need not involve
abuse of power, though it can.People who question him about his demanding style — or worse, people who don't meet the goals he sets — are either terminated whenever there are layoffs, or assigned to remote locations involving 100% travel. That's why his people regularly work killing hours. Jake believes productivity is high because he runs a tight ship, but he seems to get some kind of perverse pleasure from the distress his policies cause.
Jake is a bully. He might be achieving high productivity, but since there are many more effective ways to accomplish that, his choice to employ such draconian measures suggests that his primary objective is the psychological pain his approach produces.
Are you being targeted by a workplace bully? Do you know what to do to end the bullying? Workplace bullying is so widespread that a 2014 survey indicated that 27% of
American workers have experienced bullying firsthand, that 21% have witnessed it, and that 72% are aware that bullying happens. Yet, there are few laws to protect workers from bullies, and bullying is not a crime in most jurisdictions. 101 Tips for Targets of Workplace Bullies is filled with the insights targets of bullying need to find a way to survive, and then to finally end the bullying. Also available at Apple's iTunes store! Just USD 9.99. Order Now!
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More articles on Workplace Bullying:
- Responding to Threats: III
- Workplace threats come in a variety of flavors. One class of threats is indirect. Threateners who use
the indirect threats aim to evoke fear of consequences brought about not by the threatener, but by other
parties. Indirect threats are indeed warnings, but not in the way you might think.
- Workplace Bullying and Workplace Conflict: II
- Of the tools we use to address toxic conflict, many are ineffective for ending bullying. Here's a review
of some of the tools that don't work well and why.
- So You Want the Bullying to End: I
- If you're the target of a workplace bully, you probably want the bullying to end. If you've ever been
the target of a workplace bully, you probably remember wanting it to end. But how it ends can be more
important than whether or when it ends.
- Overtalking: I
- Overtalking is the practice of using one's own talking to prevent others from talking. It can lead to
hurt feelings and toxic conflict. Why does it happen and what can we do about it?
- Manipulators Beware
- When manipulators try to manipulate others, they're attempting to unscrupulously influence their targets
to decide or act in some way the manipulators prefer. But some targets manage to outwit their manipulators.
Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout
- Coming December 19: Embarrassment, Shame, and Guilt at Work: Creation
- Three feelings are often confused with each other: embarrassment, shame, and guilt. To understand how to cope with these feelings, begin by understanding what different kinds of situations we use when we create these feelings. Available here and by RSS on December 19.
- And on December 26: Embarrassment, Shame, and Guilt at Work: Coping
- Coping effectively with feelings of embarrassment, shame, or guilt is the path to recovering a sense of balance that's the foundation of clear thinking. And thinking clearly at work is important if you want to avoid feeling embarrassment, shame, or guilt. Available here and by RSS on December 26.
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- The Power Affect: How We Express Our Personal Power
- Many people who possess real organizational power have a characteristic demeanor. It's the way they project their presence. I call this the power affect. Some people — call them power pretenders — adopt the power affect well before they attain significant organizational power. Unfortunately for their colleagues, and for their organizations, power pretenders can attain organizational power out of proportion to their merit or abilities. Understanding the power affect is therefore important for anyone who aims to attain power, or anyone who works with power pretenders. Read more about this program.
Beware any resource that speaks of "winning" at workplace politics or "defeating" it. You can benefit or not, but there is no score-keeping, and it isn't a game.